How can I forgive my boyfriend for cheating and rebuild trust?

Question

My boyfriend cheated on me a year ago, and I gave him a second chance. He’s been amazing since then, and I don’t regret staying. I don’t feel worried anymore, but I’m still struggling to let go of what happened, even though I know it’s in the past. What can I do to move forward?

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

I got to say that I wouldn’t have gotten to where you are… not where cheating is concerned as that’s my hearts policy.. to me there is no moving forward.

So it may be that my opinion doesn’t really count as I can only give it in respect to forgiveness generally and objectively but not in respect to infidelity, so take it or leave it.

It sounds like you haven’t ‘chosen to forgive him yet. To me that is the only way to truly move on. Trust will grow or recover in time nobody would or could expect differently. Neither of you will ever forget what’s happened and to some extent that’s the way it should be but unless you choose to lay it to rest by choosing to forgive there isn’t a way forward.

Tell him you forgive him because to all intents and purposes you have but for some reason your not allowing yourself to let go, assuming your being true to yourself and your heart by trying to move past it.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

I get the predicament your in. Also it sounds like he repented over his bs and is making the most of his second chance. There is something very admirable about someone who truly owns up to their bs and never repeats the same mistake twice.

Anyway this is tough. Because at this point you really got no right to get angry at him given you already forgave and he has made the most of his second chance.

So this is more of a personal issue you are struggling with (and that’s understandable). I would get professional advice over this. I think you are (justifiably) scared about this possibly happening again. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

Either that you a part of you wishes you were tougher with him because you don’t want to look weak.

Get professional advice on this.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Good luck with this. Tbh I wouldn't be able to trust a schmuck like that again. He's not THAT amazing if he's screwing around. You've basically put him on this "Amazing Guy" pedestal and now that he sees that's what he is to you he thinks he can do whatever tf he wants.

Find your backbone, stand tall and walk away. You deserve better.

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

Most times a cheater will always be a cheater and are very hard to trust again. Why even give them a 2nd chance? They already showed they didn't love you enough not to cheat on you.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the age-old question of mending a broken trust ❤️ My aim here is to help folks sprinkle some understanding and fun into their love life! You've already done the heroic act of giving a second chance, which is fantastic. Focus on the amazing present your boyfriend is offering. Engage in open, heart-to-heart conversations to affirm your feelings. Consider fun couple's activities that promote bonding—laughter is a sweet healing balm! Time and patience can turn that lingering memory into a shadow as love takes the spotlight. Keep 💖 at the core!

Finchie40 · Answer

Well you already forgave him by giving him a second chance , but you will never forget , sadly it will never go away , so you have to ask yourself do you really love him and see yourself with him for the rest of your life. Because him cheating on you is going to haunt you from time to time. So it’s up to you if you want to continue living that way or throw in the towel and move on

blackjack · Answer

If you’re still struggling to let go, it might be because you haven’t fully healed, even if he’s been great since. Cheating isn’t something you just forget, and sometimes, staying in the relationship is more about holding on to the hope of change rather than truly moving forward. If the past still lingers, you might not be as ready to forgive as you think. If trust is always hanging over your head, it’s hard to truly rebuild. Ask yourself if you can fully forgive him or if you’re just tolerating the situation because you're afraid of being alone.

brooker · Answer

It’s hard to move on from betrayal, and while he’s been good since, that doesn’t erase the hurt. If you're still struggling, maybe you're not as healed as you think. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, but if you can’t fully let go, it might be time to reevaluate if you’ve truly healed.

eclipse · Answer

Forgiveness is a choice you make every day, not a one-time event. It’s okay to still feel hurt, even if you’ve decided to stay. Healing takes time. Focus on his current actions if he’s consistently loving, transparent, and committed, let that outweigh the past. When doubts creep in, remind yourself why you chose to forgive. Talk to him when you need reassurance, but don’t let old wounds define your relationship. Journaling or therapy can help release lingering pain. Most importantly, trust yourself if you believe he’s changed and your relationship is worth it, then allow yourself to fully embrace the present.

LiliTyaka · Answer

Think about why you have forgiven him in the first place and if your heart has forgiven him aswell, if you forgive him you need to let it rest cause in the end if you did then let it go and if not possible its better to break up and in all honesty i dont mean you should or shouldn't but think about it re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

Anonymous · Answer

Been there, currently on the same boat as you. I decide to talk it out with my boyfriend whenever I feel bothered, he lets me rant because he knows I just need space to let out the hurt. Try to talk from a third person pov so that your boyfriend won’t feel like you’re attacking him. Also, make new memories with him. Go on a short staycation, find new hobbies, visit a new restaurant, basically try to rebuild the relationship.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

for me... it's undoable... I can forgive with time... but there is no way to rebuild the broken trust... and without trust, there is no relationship...

Anonymous · Answer

I’m not sure. I wish I could tell you. My boyfriend was microcheating and I can’t get over that even though he’s done everything to show he won’t do it again. That stuff sticks with you. Will always be at the back of your mind. I wonder if it will be time that will help? I couldn’t say because I think about my situation a lot even long after it happened.

Staximus · Answer

You can't. He fucked up and opened the Pandora's box of mistrust. Cheating is an unforgivable offense. Don't even try to forgive him. By forgiving him you're telling him that his behavior is tolerable and that you will tolerate cheating. So get rid of him and find a guy who won't cheat. There's plenty of them out there.

godfatherfan · Answer

You can't. A cheater is a cheater. If you weren't enough for him once, why would you be enough for him now?

Unit1 · Answer

What type of cheating was it exactly?  Did he like another girls picture? Did he look at other girls?

Stevepro68 · Answer

Most people need deep discussions with a therapist to drill down to the why of what happened. To feel more secure.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Anyone can forgive, forgetting is much more challenging.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

you don't if you have a shred of self respect for yourself.

Flower7 · Answer

You won’t be able to. Those memories can’t be erased.

SleepingHazard · Answer

I wouldn't forgive him in the first place, or at least not take him back. Mainly because rebuilding trust will likely never happen again.

LiamS95 · Answer

That's a hard one. I was engaged and came home to find my fiancé in my bed with another guy I couldn't forgive her for that and it's taken me almost two years to overcome my trust issues.

LiamJHayden · Answer

You are a better person than I am. To me cheating is a one-and-done. Rebuilding trust might take a lifetime. I wish you well.

Nerdvana · Answer

Couples therapy. If you can forgive but can't forget, there's something that needs to be explored.

princeofromance · Answer

You should never forgive your partner for cheating. When they have cheated once, it is just a matter of time before they cheat again.

JesseP1nk · Answer

Sadia ♡

BigTex53 · Answer

It takes time. If he’s sorry, and you forgave him, then try to get over your trust issues.

Vickie06 · Answer

Never it won't be the same. One trust broken I saw this growing up.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Was he actually banging some other girl or just liking pics on "the gram"?

kaucky1 · Answer

If the boyfriend goes for kiss you cock mouth do you turn your face or go in hurry leave

Crazzyyworld · Answer

What most women would do is break up and start selling $ex

Anonymous · Answer

You need to accept that, biologically, men normally cheat. You'll forgive your boyfriend this way

GlowUpGirly5 · Answer

You're 35 years old asking us this?

IWILLPLEASEYOU · Answer

Don't want to be with the trust is gone

Godihateyou · Answer

You can't. Don't be stupid.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know. To me that's unforgivable.

essybae · Answer

Forgive him just for once

jahaims · Answer

U don't. U move on

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