Got my boyfriend forgiveness, but I can't forgive myself for cheating on him :(

Here is a hick saying but true none the less. The more you stir a pile of s**t the more it stinks. Sounds like a big pile left in the past. Your feeling guilty because he isn't reacting the way you would. I bet you would keep jabbing him with it of he did it but yet you did it and he doesn't. He loves you and he has truly forgiven you. The ability to truly forgive is rare so you have a great man but you can't fix your relationship until you fix yourself. If you have insurance try have a few councling sessions just you and the therapist. Be honest with your man and tell him why your booking the sessions. Look for a licensed clinical social worker and go ASAP. I promise you will lose the relationship if you stay guilt ridden and a couple of comments from guys and girls on here won give you the quick fix because I am just guessing there are deeper issues to be worked out. The therapist may want to eventually bring you both in to watch how you interact but at first you really need to go alone but tell him what your doing and why. I would wager that your probably not so good at giving forgiveness and that why your not good at getting it. I am sure he will love you learning how to let go of that time a year ago when he said... Good luck!
Gosh.. My best friend thinks the same as you and I know you're both right.. Cheers for answering :)
This reverse thing is natural to compensate. You can't change the past. Love or sex is not dirty and you don't cheat unless you're married. Or were you thinking you were monogamous? Well, weren't. So face the truth.
If you love him then that's great. But you went out on him before so it could happen again.
Now, if you actually liked the other guy, that would make more sense. I think it is the reason you went out to the other guy isn't it?
You have nothing to feel ashamed about,as far as you were concerned you felt that you were both only friends with benefits,so it that state of mind you did nothing wrong.I can understand why you feel the way you do but he has forgave you and you need to do the same.You are trying your best now to be a good girlfriend and you do clearly regret and show remorse now for your actions.That is all that counts now,you need to let go of the past and move on with your relationship knowing you can take comfort in that you are a good girlfriend and you have nothing to feel ashamed or dirty about.
thank you ja123
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