What did he mean by this?

[Anonymous]

I asked what he meant after he said that and he said I don’t understand why you feel the way you do so I explain how the rape affected me and he said “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that” he says he doesn’t want a relationship but like? At first we were cuddling one time and and I said the couple on the tv was cute he thought I was talking about us and so he agreed but made it clear he wasn’t talking about the people on the tv. Then when we dtr he said he didn’t want a girlfriend at this time and I said I didn’t want to be his girlfriend yet bc we needed to get to know each other. What is he doing?

[Kickmyballs1989]

Every thing u said does not make sense.
Post the question again but word it differently and think how your wording it as THIS, does not make sense

[afterlongtime]

Seriously this much information is not enough to understand his motive

[Asker]

In saying “I don’t understand why you feel the way you do”

[afterlongtime]

Basically with this he was trying to say, you don't have to feel bad because someone raped you coz it was not your fault

Sometimes bad happened, okay but it shouldn't hinder you from enjoying your life

[Asker]

I explained afterwards I don’t feel bad about being raped. Yeah it fuckin sucks but that’s not why I feel so bad. I feel bad because of how it happened. How it happened made me hyper vigilant because I knew the guy. Like he was a close ass friend.

[Asker]

Basically because I trusted him I’m uneasy with men because if I trusted him and he did it why the fuck would a stranger not

[afterlongtime]

Half details is making it complicated

Can you share it completely pls?

[Asker]

he was my friend. He was there for me through that first terrible break up. I had had sex with him before. I trusted him. I trusted him with my life I didn’t think he could ever do that to me. At one point he started hurting me, I begged him to stop, just to give me 5 seconds, because he wasn’t he wasn’t the type for foreplay. He didn’t stop though. So I scream stop, start using my body to explain my displeasure with the situation. He holds me down, And my legs are on his shoulders, i scream ow, now with tears in my eyes, look in his eyes hoping with the last bit of safe breath I had in me, considering he was a gang member, and 6 foot at the time. he didn’t stop. So I just gave up, because when I fought again after saying ow he pushed me down in that “don’t even try it” way

[afterlongtime]

Okay then?

Also can you message me, it would be faster and easier for you

[Asker]

After all of that it makes it hard to trust men

[afterlongtime]

I can understand you

[Asker]

So when he says I don’t see what you see, and he talks about how much he thinks we would make a cute couple, but then says he doesn’t want a girlfriend at the time, is that to say give up or create a connection

[afterlongtime]

It implies talk him straight what does he wants

Be blunt

[Asker]

He’ll just say he doesn’t want a girlfriend again it I always say not in this moment because I don’t want a boyfriend either, then he changes the subject

[afterlongtime]

Drop the connection then seriously

[afterlongtime]

I don't know anything about you that's why I am saying drop the connection

It might change if I know who are you and which country you livr

[SwankyJon]

Sounds like he doesn't know why you like him

[Asker]

How can I believe that when I tell him he’s different than other men all the time

[SwankyJon]

You may tell him what he does is different and great, but he may not know that. If it's just stuff he naturally does and he believes his friends would act similarly then he won't see himself as special

[Asker]

Even though most men don’t care?

[SwankyJon]

Yeah, at least that's what I do. I've behaved similar to him about similar things

[Asker]

And even though I tell him in which ways he makes me feel special that isn’t enough?

[SwankyJon]

If he's like me he may think you only think this because you've had bad past experiences

[Asker]

Oh shit. Which would make sense why he’s at a distance, like almost like giving a dog unseasoned Cooked chicken, he’ll be happy as fuck that he got chicken but doesn’t realize there is better chicken out there. He always is questioning me and asking why I’m into him. Subtly but he always asks me what made me give him my number

[SwankyJon]

It's likely he opinion of himself isn't very high. Give him time and you might change that