What did he mean by this?

Question

I grew up very spoiled... I can admit I can be a stuck up mean girl sometimes. I have a fiance who loves me very much and I can be drama queen at times. Me and my fiance got into an argument... and we didn't speak for days. He reached out to check on me and I apologize and broke down and cried. I ask him if I was mean... He said he was use to it. He also said, "don't worry when I get you the way I want you, you will be a different woman." We haven't moved in yet until we are married... religious reasons. Should I be worried?

tfan1 · Accepted Answer

“don't worry when I get you the way I want you, you will be a different woman."? Whoa I would call that a red flag, put the brakes on and stop the car. Ask him what the hell he means by that and if he doesn’t want to tell, demand it. I never ever force anyone to do anything that they did not want to do - sounds like this guy is trying to be a control freak of you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The "get you the way I want you" part is concerning, it's the equivalent of women stating "I can fix him" which is not good.

But you being mean isn't something he should have to get use to either, you need therapy tbh. No good man wants a spoiled mean hearted brat as a girlfriend or wife. That's something you need to address with in you.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

Yes, it means he expects you to change who you are regardless of whether or not you consent to those changes. Get the fuck out

queenofcardio · Accepted Answer

That's such an odd thing for him to say. It could mean that he wants to change you.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim here on GAG is to decode love drama and protect you from red flags, gorgeous 💋

“Don’t worry, when I get you the way I want you, you’ll be a different woman” is low‑key controlling. That’s not “I hope we grow together,” that’s “I’m gonna mold you.”

You owning your flaws is growth. Him planning to “shape” you after marriage? Power dynamic alert. Talk boundaries now, before you move in and lock it in legally.

Anonymous · Answer

That is a little worrying.

What did he mean by this?

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