What did he mean by this?

[Anonymous]

I was having a discussion with my friend and he opened up to me about his internal troubles and how he refuses support. He’s also incredibly harsh on himself I asked if he wanted my take on what he had said. And he said yes.

I won’t play it word for word, but i basically said how he doesn’t always need to be as harsh as he is on himself to be a better person. He’s only human and will make mistakes. But to grow we have to take care of ourselves. Yes we can be self critical, but also give ourselves some kindness from time to tome. and how I have always been supporting him from a distance.

he was pretty quiet after. I asked if what I said had made him uncomfortable. He said no, not at all actually. He said he’s just taking the time to process what I had said and, trying to “undermine the emotional significance of what was said”.

what on earth could that mean lol? I didn’t ask him to explain any further, as I could tell he was quite vulnerable already.

[HollyK21]

Undermine? I don't know if that’s the word he was looking for lol because that sentence doesn’t make sense 😭

[Asker]

😭😭

[HollyK21]

This is a very wild guess lol but maybe he’s trying to say that he wanted to lessen the emotional significance of what you said. What’s confusing is undermine means sabotaging, threaten, etc., so maybe he’s trying to erase the feeling entirely? If he doesn’t really like to share or open up and refuses support then that could be what he was doing.

[Asker]

I thought that could be the case. But he did reach out to me the next day and thank me. I asked if he was truly okay with last night, as he opened up a lot more than usual. And he said that he’s not going to regret it and appreciates me.

[HollyK21]

That’s good to hear, I know a lot of people have a hard time accepting help, advice or whatever so if he ultimately receives your message then that’s what matters🙏

[spartan55]

I don't think he knows the definition of undermine.

[Asker]

I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know what to say when he said that lol.

[spartan55]

I wouldn't either. He said 'undermine' not 'understand'?

[Asker]

He definitely said undermine. I just assumed he meant he’s trying to lesson the importance of what I had said, maybe? but it was a little confusing lol.

[spartan55]

Weird. Some people use words with such confidence in the wrong context it always trips me up.

[Asker]

I came for some pov’s but instead im left laughing.

[spartan55]

As long as you talked to him after and every is good I wouldn't worry about it.

[spartan55]

You should give him some shit about it. Try inserting the word undermine where understand would normally apply or something like that.

[Justaguyagain]

I think he is just trying to let it sink in. Is a very weird way to say it though