Guys, is the chase overrated?

[Anonymous]

Do guys not like chasing after girls anymore? it seems sad because a lot of the great girls out there are the ones that are afraid to do the chasing.

[bballer25]

Well I'm a 22 year old young woman and I have two older brothers who are in their thirties. I've asked them about your question in particular, too.

I think the issue is when a girl always makes herself available for a guy vs an independent woman... An always available person (whether guy or girl) just seems desperate in my book. I'd respect someone more who'd once in a while say "no, but let's take a rain check" to hanging out... that shows they have other personal interests, take school (or whatever) seriously, and has a life. Someone who's independent doesn't play the chasing game necessarily, they just aren't always available and from my experience (and from talking to many guys about this) guys like that... Independence.

Hope that made sense. I feel like a lot of people get the two mixed and come off the wrong way to someone they like. So, don't play the chasing game (chase=mind games); it's high school. Rather, continue doing what you're doing (going to school, taking up personal hobbies, etc). Don't drop what you've worked hard for just because you like someone, but at the same time if you DO like someone just make sure you show it.

Make sense? Guys I'd like to read some of your opinions too and I'm totally open to criticism.

[bballer25]

Well you can at least say why I got a negative score for this unless you really had no reason? Lol.

[Kiwitulip]

I know this was yonks ago...but didn't think it fair you got negative feedback (could have been in error though) just thought I'd balance it out. Agree with what you said :)

[markml]

Did guys EVER like chasing girls? What makes you think that it's any more fun for a guy to chase than for a girl to chase?

The only guys who actually "like chasing" are the ones who do it for sport, and those guys are not really good material for relationships.

The rest of us guys don't like chasing but we still do it because we have to do it. The girl shouldn't think that she's doing us a favor by letting us chase her.

I'm sure there are great girls that don't want to do the chasing, and that's fine. But they shouldn't go out of their way to make it harder for the guy.

This is why some guys get fed up and stop trying altogether. I'm not saying that's right either. Honestly, both sexes need to try harder. It shouldn't just be one chasing the other or vice versa.

[shellbellrn]

I especially like the part where you talk about "Chasing for sport" because then it is in fact a "GAME".Love and life aren't games.People aren't playthings to be toyed with. If you really like someone and feel you have a good connection with them, there's nothing wrong with telling them how you feel be you male or female.I think the keys here are respect for the person you care for and yourself. If you feel something can come of it take a chance.You may very well regret the risk you didn't take.

[Married-in-PA]

Chasing?...Why do girls feel the need to be chased? Don't women realize that men hate head-games?

All I have to say is thank God(dess) for my wife - she made it really easy for me. I mean, the signs she sent me were like Giant Neon Lights. LOL. When we were dating, she would leave me little notes like "you're the best guy I know, I think you're aces", or things like "I love you the 2nd most" (which was a joking reference to the fact that I used to say that my wife loved Shopping more than life itself.

Chasing? Yeah, men find that so annoying. Now, if it's Courting you are referring to, yes, by all means. Every lady deserves that. Just don't force your guy to play "deal or no deal". Again, all, straight, red-blooded, straight, whiskey drinking men HATE head-games.

[AnonymousDude]

Yeah, we never liked chasing, there isn't and never will be fun or liked by us.

If anything, it's an annoyance and deterrent, you girls force the chase even if you like him, guys chase and are annoyed the whole way.

heres the chase:

guy likes girl

girl likes guy

girl acts like she doesn't like him

guy tries to impress

girls still acts like she doesn't like him

guy gives up and possible becomes bitter from it

Please tell me a time where chasing made anything better, at all, EVER?!

This is not a movie, this is not Twilight, there's no knight in shining armor, not a romance novel, not a fairy tale. This is real, those are fake, separate the two if genders are ever to get along.

[Anonymous]

If a girl's being really overt about it, typically I think a guy will give "chase" because she's all but given the him the go ahead (it's just a matter of time). If however a girl's absolutely convincing in her rejection, there's no reason for the guy to "chase." Basically, the girl shouldn't say "no" just to test the guy's conviction (and vice versa).

Personally, I'm not a big fan of the games (the "chase" included). If you want to go out with a guy who asks you, you agree to a date, if you don't, you decline. Simple as that. Seems pretty daft to start sending mixed messages because you want to encourage a "chase."

[Thiezz]

> Basically, the girl shouldn't say "no" just to test the guy's conviction (and vice versa).

Lol, when you say it like that it sounds like they're conditioning those guys to rape :p

"Well sure your honor, she said 'No!' many times, but I swear she was just testing my conviction" :D

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not quite sure how you managed to infer anything pertaining to "rape" in that quotation. But to clarify: "conviction" meaning "a strong persuasion or belief." As in, testing how much the guy really wants to go out with you. "Is he interested enough to keep asking after multiple rejections?" "Is he only halfheartedly interested?" "Does he just want a quick fling" Questions like that...

[Asker]

i don't do this whole testing thing but you raise an interesting point. how do you know if he is just interested in a quick fling versus a relationship?

[Opinion Owner]

I think for many they simply have to take the chance with a couple of dates and gauge the situation. If you're lucky enough to develop a friendship with the other person first, you get a better idea of what type of person he (or she if the shoe's on the other foot) is. If a dude tries to pick you up at a bar or party, prob. assume a quick fling. If he "courts" you (using a somewhat out-of-date term), something more perhaps. You just have to use common sense and take a chance with what you know.

[Anonymous]

i would go for this approach first. don't make yourself so hard by playing mind game early on that you scared him off as being crazy and diffciult try to be just a nice person and be friend first. then once you given him a good friendly impression of yourself, you can show signs your are interested and encourage him to ask you out.

once you are friends, communicate get a lot easier and even dating get easier because if you are not friend, asking you out would be like more strange and more awkward.

[133mike]

Guys love courting women, not chasing after them ... at the end of the day you only feel she is using you for her ego boost.

[GIntrovert]

Hollywood has put this stupid idea of "chasing" into western females mind.

[Asker]

um, well traditionally men courted women. so. yeah.

[GIntrovert]

No Traditionally women had no say in anything.

[snackeyg]

lol Sucks for those girls. Same goes for me. I'm afraid to do the chasing too.

[snackeyg]

As as said "the chase" is stupid.