Guys do you like the chase?

[brunettebelle]

Guys only please

If you look online you can find those texting rules and dating articles where it says "let him text you, let him come to you. Guys like the chase."

Do you like the chase or do you think these articles are written by women stating their thoughts about men as facts. Girls shouldn't be easy but do you wish that girls would come to you.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on how you define 'the chase".

I've seen quite a few situations where a girl completely is there whenever the guy calls and texts her, she's there at his beck and call to do whatever, and she just kind of accomodates to what he wants when it comes to getting to know him. That behavior usually makes things predictable then ultimately boring. Sometimes if a female comes off as too available, then he already knows what to expect and it can easily lead to her being clingy. I have watched this happen so many times. Then they wonder what went wrong when the guy isn't as responsive as he was before or starts talking to someone else.

The articles didn't come from nowhere lol maybe they don't apply to all men, but the idea that guys like the chase isn't just some make believe thing that came out of thin air. There have clearly been situations that have made women believe that men like the chase. Some men have to had displayed behavior to make them think that.

Personally, I think it should be give and take. I think if a girl is always texting him first, then that just makes it seem like she's more interested than him and the predictability of her behavior will make things boring

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think guys like girls who flirt a little then don't talk to them as an attempt to literately make him chase her. Who would want that? Who wants to feel like you've put yourself out there and some person is playing games trying to get you to chase them? No one would. But I know that from my personal experiences, certain types of guys who have busy lives and a lot of obligations to give attention to get turned off by a girl who's always in their face.

[Opinion Owner]

I think the chase is more about just not being available and making sure he knows that you're not just going to be there at his beck and call and he needs to be putting an effort into pursuing you

[brunettebelle]

good point.

But have you seen when It is on and off. The girl talks all the time, then take a break then talks again as if they are right then take a break... so on an so forth?

[Opinion Owner]

well if it's a situation like that, then the girl is interested in the guy more than he's interested in her. If a guy really likes you a lot, he's not going to let you get away without talking to him for too long lol which is true for people in general. like if you have a friend that you love spending time around and you just enjoy their personality, would you go weeks without talking? no because you enjoy their company

[Opinion Owner]

For example, I met this guy at the club and he asked for my number after we danced all night! I would text him and be warm, friendly, and tell jokes but not be too available. Especially because he was the type of guy that is very attractive with a huge social life and he's used to girls just being available and being there whenver. It gets stale for a guy like that. He liked a challange. I would text him first for about two or three days then he said something like "Sorry you always text...

[Opinion Owner]

first. I'll text you first some time :) " I didn't text him at all the next day and he texted me around 3. My point being if a guy really likes you, he will make it happen. He'll communicate with you and you shouldn't be the one always initiating conversation

[brunettebelle]

Well the reason I ask because there is a guy I like. I met him through the most unusual way... anyway We text all day and night. Our conversations go on and on for days and nights. He says sweet things and I say nice things back, but I don't always give in to what he says. I don't call him either. But in order to be like that I have to text first, he does say nice nice things.

It eventually turns into a pattern, we text non-stop, then we all of a sudden stop out of nowhere, the previous conver

[brunettebelle]

sation. During the time we do talk, he does text first; he says hi and he gives a nice greeting. He even sends pictures and other things. I don't send pictures of myself, I fear what will happen to it. He is a nice shy-guy gentleman and he is in the marines so he doesn't have freetime. I don't have much either because of college but texting is easy. Then after sometime it sucks we stop talking and we don't speak for awhile (once or twice a week) then we talk constantly again. What do you think?

[Opinion Owner]

well I hate to say it hun, but it sounds like maybe he doesn't like you like that if he's not putting an effort into talking. Call him! Go for it! Talking on the phone and texting are so different! Just try it, see how it goes, be charming and funny then see if there's a change in his behavior

[brunettebelle]

I have talked to him on the phone but I like him to call, he has called a few times but then I chickened out to answer the previous times. Even when we don't talk as much he says nice things. Like "I had a dream about you" or "I always think of you". So why would he not be interested yet he does say nice things, always no matter how spread out the conversation is?

[Opinion Owner]

Saying nice things doesn't always mean a guy likes you a lot and is interested. Guys will say nice things just to get in a girl's pants. Not saying that's your situation but just an example how saying nice things means sh*t sometimes lol It's the actions that you should be able to talk about so much not just saying nice things.

[brunettebelle]

We do have lots of actions such as he told me his secrets, I told some of mine, nothing that could harm me but he did tell me things. Lots of things, beyond saying sweet nothings.

[brunettebelle]

I do know nice things are sh*t. I've seen it. But if he wasn't interested, why would he still talk. We can't hang out, we are on opposite sides of the country. He is on the East Coast, I am on the West Coast.

[Opinion Owner]

idk he might like you but it seems like you're just looking for any little action of his to make yourself believe that he likes you

[Opinion Owner]

because you want him to like you back badly

[brunettebelle]

I see. The odd thing is he texted me this morning unexpectedly. Thanks for your advice though.

[Opinion Owner]

what I'm saying doesn't mean he doesn't care about you at all and has no interest in you. I'm just saying he may not have the level of interest in you that you'd like for him to have

[brunettebelle]

Yeah I understand that. Trust me I do.

[Opinion Owner]

we've all gone through that. I hope it all works out hun :)

[Opinion Owner]

I just really wanted to stress it to you because I know how it feels when you build up these fantasies over just wanting to believe a guy likes you and they all crumble when you find out he doesn't care as much as you hoped he would. I'm just trying to save you from experiencing that crappy feeling

[brunettebelle]

Yeah I know. I've seen worse like when a girl first loses her virginity to a guy, she gets way tooo attached esp those really little girls, kids are growing up too fast. I know a 12 year old who was like that.

[Opinion Owner]

sorry but that's gross lol 12 year olds are so little

[brunettebelle]

It was pretty sad, and yes it is disgusting. I know a lot of those young stories.

[Opinion Owner]

the saddest part is they did it to themselves most 12 year olds can't even grasp how beautiful and valuable virginity is

[brunettebelle]

Yeah. I blame the media but most of all the parents, sure parents can't protect their child from everything but they can do something and not be careless. That 12 year olds parents were careless.

[Opinion Owner]

you can't blame everything on the parents. parents can try but they can only do so much. parents are not responsible for every action their child makes, that child is responsible for it. the girl chose to spread her legs and give her virginity away and that's her fault, not her parents. Parents are so busy trying to make money and pay bills to make life choices for their children that the kids should have the common sense to make on their own

[Anonymous]

Let a guy chase you. The same ones saying that they like girls who are easy to get with and play no games will be the same ones dissing a girl for being a slut, interesting huh? You gotta watch men's ACTIONS. The girls who don't let men chase them are rarely ever girls who get taken seriously, so if you want more than a fling, let him chase you and see what the guy is about. Men get bored of women they can have easily. The one who is harder to get with is always the most valuable, remember that.

Why are expensive designer purses so sought after even if the bag may not be all that different than a bag you can get at TJmaxx for $10? Because psychologically one is more PRESTIGIOUS because less people have access to it,and the other can be picked up by anyone who pays attention to it ;)

[Kjpuppy7]

I believe men should be the one to initiate the relationship with both asking out the girl and being the one to plan the dates. This is a firm predictor on how the man will act as a bold decision maker as the head of the family. I personally would rather have a man who has the confidence to ask a women out with the possibility of being rejected. These are my old fashion values, but it is my wish to be pursued rather than be the pursuer. - Words from a traditional girl, Katie

[Kokujin]

My one nice post and advice:

hot cold, mixed, etc. doesn't matter on PULLING a commited relationship out of a guy girls. In fact it's just plain fucking rude. When I communicate with guys, what they tell me is what they mean. Always. It's 1 to 1 honesty and consistency. Communicating with y'all is like communicating with a stupid brick that doesn't know it's f$$$ stupid.

the KEY to getting a guy who wants a commited relationship is... finding a guy who wants a commited relationship. You can't make one out of him by making him "work for it." Usually, a guy wants all the casual sex he can knab his hands on until he gets older to settle down. It's more about timing and not how crappy you communicate w the next 20-something male that met you at a bar who is obviously just hunting for more pussy at that point in his life.

ugh it's long-winded and complex but I can share more for whoeveer wants to know.

[Anonymous]

I will never, ever understand where the hell anyone gets the idea that we like relentlessly chasing you. It's stressful, it makes us seem desperate, and it's often times downright humiliating. I don't know about other guys, but I never, NEVER, make a move unless I have some indication that the girl is interested. Period.

[Shaun]

agreed. And as soon as she stops reciprocating, I stop. Otherwise you look like a fool.

[AyyoCookie]

I can't even answer because you used the words right from under my fingers.

[loveless123]

So... if she shows intrest, but doesn't give in completely or as much as you would like her too, would you still chase her?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, but to a reasonable extent. As soon as I feel like the stress is outweighing the reward, I'd probably just move on.

[Kokujin]

HOW DOES THIS GET 11 LIKES FROM PINK GIRLS.

THEN A POST FROM A GIRL SAYING "NEVER CHASE A GUY. LET HIM CHASE YOU. THIS IS KEY."

WILL GET ALL LIKES TOO.

WOMEN DO YOU FUCKING HAVE NO MEMORY, DO YOU JUST CLICK ON WHAT FEELS GOOD? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? SERIOUSLY.
--we honestly hate you. If god didn't give you a vagina ass and tits, NO ONE would want to hang out with a wishy washy person who fels entitled to making no effort and getting everything given to them on basis of their gender. seriously. imagine hanging out platonic-ally with that person. You guys offer nothing bu your body by the way you act.

[AndyWes]

If you want to know how the chase feels, find that Inn in Harry Potter that leads to Diadon Alley or whatever, and start punching the brick wall. There is a TINY chance you'll get the right combo and find the wizarding place, lol. You'll *definitely* get the flesh scraped off your knuckles and possible break your fingers.

That's how the chase is, lol. But we guys learn quickly after a short time that the only way to get a good looking girl is to make her chase you, or your a wimp and'll end up getting told "I just want to be friends" or "You're like a brother to me."

[MissAonethree]

By getting the girl to chase you, does that mean you pursue her and send her a lot of sweet texts, then back off and just let her always come to you? That seems to be the situation I am in and I am tired of chasing the guy that approached me. I am very close to giving up. I feel that letting him or her chase you can make the other person feel that they are the only one putting in any effort and it is not a good feeling...for me at least. It is not doing the guy any good either.

[Kokujin]

@MissAonethree wrote: I feel that letting him or her chase you can make the other person feel that they are the only one putting in any effort and it is not a good feeling.."

just think about what you wrote.
--we fucking hate women.

[bioengineer]

I don't really like the chase, after a while I get discouraged and give up. I can understand not falling on the guy, but all those rules and articles are in no way fact. girls demand equality, but still expect the men to take the risk of being shot down, placing them in a power position***generalization***. I wish everything was a lot more straight forward, then again, I'm the science/math guy

[brunettebelle]

They are written by women. Maybe men should give advice on what guys like when it comes to dating and attracting men.

[bioengineer]

yea, but it probably wouldn't get much attention. I doubt it would find its way onto a page in cosmo or a womans magazine.

[brunettebelle]

To be honest the magazine industry is suffering, online magazines are becoming more popular but if guys would step up and clear up things about the chase for dating and relationships, that would be great.

[bioengineer]

hey, if you can hook me up with a magazine editor, I would be willing to write it. haha

[brunettebelle]

Why not write an article on here. This site is all about things like that, it would he a good start.

[bioengineer]

can you point me to some sites?

[WeaponZero]

CAN NOT STAND IT.

When a girl makes the process difficult for me I drop her like a bad habit and move on. End of. No time or patience for head games, which is exactly what that is. it's making a game out of my feelings. I demand to be taken seriously when I'm putting my feelings out there and trying to open up to someone. To not give me that respect is to trample on them and make yourself come off as nothing more than an immature little girl.

Sorry for the angry rant. MAJOR issue I have.

[WeaponZero]

I see lots of nonsense from women about how men don't show emotion and seem cold. It's cause our emotions get trampled on by women when we're trying to open up because they think they should make a game out of it. Make up your mind! Do you want us to be cold heartless sons of bitches or do you want us to be nice sensitive guys? Pick one and treat us accordingly, for god's sake!

[brunettebelle]

Relax, ranting actually feels really good, it's not annoying as gossip. There are some girls that don't play games though, they are just a little too self conscious don't like to take risks.

Women are sort of wired to be open to emotions while men aren't as much, men have emotions just as much as women. The women you must run into are the bitchy, shallow, personality ones. Then again whether they are beautiful, average, or ugly - a lot of women are mean and self centered now. I see it constanty

[Anonymous]

this is why I choose european girls. they are not so demanding and stubborn, more friendly, more feminine, more social, more easygoing. this whleo chase thing can turn insanity and its just plain dumb.

this stuff drives guys nuts and if you have a better alternative, I advise you to go for it and not like this insanity ruin you.

[brunettebelle]

I like European guys. They aren't so annoying but at times they can be just as sleezy as an American man.

[Opinion Owner]

i'm not sleazy, I try to be genuine but when I meet girls that show they like you but act fake and play mind game, then its hard to like them and they gradually make me like them less and less. asking a girl to act real and not play mind games not asking too much, is it? and I found european girl tend not to do mind games and act more real down to earth and it makes me naturally like them. its like its easy to be friend and once you have them its more confortable to move to romance...

[brunettebelle]

I understand that. I don't know we all have that dream person we want to be, some go for it and don't realize that it is not for them and they are better being themselves.

[pavlove]

I think that approach works for the classical male. But as times are changing, there are a lot more insecure/cerebral males who do not have any interest in pursuing a girl they deem not interested in being pursued. Maybe instead of playing it cold you should send mixed signals. Never be obvious though, some guys will say they want that and they may get in a relationship with you, but they won't be that interested--we never appreciate what comes easily to us man or woman.

[littlebit526]

how can you let a guy know that you like without being obvious ?

[Tigurinn]

Absolutely nothing wrong in being obvious in letting your guy know you are interested

[kheserthorpe]

Most guys don't like the chase.

Guys who like the chase are those who are habitual players who enjoy their ability to 'win'. Honestly, for women, you might want to stay away from guys like that.

[amatuer_zombie]

YES..but don't make us chase so much that we lose interest

[Freetobe007]

FCKN HOTTTTTTTTTT!

[beer3]

No nobody wants to seems desperate and its some times it might be embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

I don't like it, but then I'm an ugly dude so if I try and chad girls they run away. So in that way, I don't like it. I do think though that guys need to initiate and maybe start the chase, but no I don't like it. Just make it simple. If you like us, tell us, if you don't we'll either move on or keep trying :)

[Anonymous]

The minute they go cold. not initiate anymore then it gets old quick, feel like I'm living a groundhog day, same thing over and over, same behavior just about in any girl. Talking to a wall it seems

[DevanG]

i would much enjoy a girl to just start talking to me and not make me chase.. I like getting to know girls.. not chasing after them

[Soulfoods]

The chase just makes you look desperate.

You lose interest after a while and sometimes confuses the crap out of people.

[Shaun]

Nope. Hate it, thanks for asking.

[knowmeyourself]

lol

[brunettebelle]

Np, it's best to know what both genders think. But no one thinks the exactly the same.

[Shaun]

Well, I'm only speaking for myself.

[brunettebelle]

I understand that but I just want to know how some guy think about the "chase" issue. It seems to me that guys hate it.

[moviedude714]

I HATE IT!

[Blaxican619]

Nope. Not at all