What is a Gentleman?

Out of sheer curiosity, I ask: -- In your opinion, what makes a man a gentleman. -- Are there any niceties, actions, phrases, or other gentlemanly traits, you feel have died and wish would be resurrected? -- What traits or phrases do you wish would fade into a never again mentioned corner of history? ~ Aeon

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What Girls Said 21

  • Respect is what separates a gentleman from a "nice guy"
    But ya all I expect is respect, chivalry and thoughtfulness from someone who claims to be a gentleman

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      That’s interesting. I never thought of it that way before.

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      @-Aeon-, Id date a gentleman. Id lock that shit down cuz there aren't too many out there and I want one 😂 But I won't even give a "nice guy" the time of day.

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      @zestywatermelon would you also say a nice guy can be a guy who is only nice because he is secretly expecting sex as a reward?

  • It's in the details. Opening a door, paying for dinner if you're the one who asked her out, helping her reach things if she's too short, giving her your jacket, placing a hand on her back in a crowd so you're not separated, offering your arm to her if you're walking someplace together. These are all wonderful things. A gentleman is a man who makes you feel special, cared for and safe. He is a man who knows you can take care of yourself but offers to help because he wants to, not because he expects something from you in return.

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  • Who loves you just the way you are, respect you, encourage you to follow your dreams and doesn't push you for anything.

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  • A gentleman is a man who recognizes his strength and never takes advantage of it or use it against a female. A man that a woman can trust to be vulnerable around that is a true gentleman. doesn't make a woman cry

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  • A gentleman is a sincere gentle and caring man. He takes the higher road in behavior and responses. He’s aware of the feelings of others and wants all to be comfortable. He’s a classy guy not a showboated

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  • Someone who doesn’t shout “Get your tits out love” when I’m walking to Sainsbury’s

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  • manners, politeness, sensitivity, chivalry, and respect

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  • A general respect for you and your opinions, politeness, and a value for himself and the people around him. A good hearted well meaning person all around

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  • Mostly I think a gentleman is a guy with good self control who respects women.

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  • So in my opinion what makes a man a gentleman is not the way he talks, how educated or how he walks, but how considerate, tactful and chivalrous he is.

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      Chivalry is dead. Equality is the order of the day. Sorry to say. (Wow that rhymes, huh!!)

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      Of course there are exceptions in every case, thus it's not "dead" entirely per se. I take that back. My point is men are no longer as "chivalrous" as they used to be (if we go by historical accounts , but I guess we will never know), and the number of men who really are so, are so less when compared to the others, that it's negligible. Then most men are not "chivalrous" or at least are not willing to be. And that actually narrows down the "gentleman" to a very short range.

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      I agree with that

  • Just being polite and respectful. Not so much that it's awkward, but enough.

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  • Being polite, caring and sensitive and someone who wants a lady to be a lady.

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  • Someone that is always kind and does things for people.

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  • A gentleman: someone who treats a woman like a queen.

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  • Opens doors for me
    carries heavy things for me
    dresses classy,
    doesn't swear
    has good manners,
    family values,
    traditional.

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  • If they are honest and respect other people I guess.

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  • Of course slavery

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  • A nice man with manners that supports Feminism.

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      Actually, It'd be a bit better if you could clarify at this point what you mean by feminism. Because there are many forms of it and some forms are disliked by men and women alike.(thus the dislikes for your opinion)..

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      It doesn’t need clarifying feminism is feminism.

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      OK. That's cool.

  • I’m not sure

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  • A gentleman is the definition of chivalrous

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  • 1. Shows respect
    2. Feel remorse/have empathy&sympathy
    3. Stand up for people he love
    4. Listning and caring
    That's what I Think

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What Guys Said 34

  • I think there is a difference between Gentleman and Chivalrous. While similar, a chivalrous man is a gentleman +1.

    Chivalry is dying. Why? Mainstream media, the battle between feminists, male feminists groveling and apologizing for being men, and the Incels going the way of the MGTOW.

    Chivalry is an institution. It's a code a man should live by, as our forefathers did. Courage, Honor, Justice, Courtesy, and protection of children, elders, and our women.

    Chivalry has been lost because it was mistaken as sexual harassment. Gender equality has pushed it aside (don't open doors, or pull a seat for a woman), extreme feminism chivalry is offensive. Younger generations see it as "uncool" or "old fashioned."

    1. Do what needs to be done, even though it may scare you. Go where others do not.
    2. Do what is morally right. Even when others say not to worry about it.
    3. Treat everyone fairly. Be righteous in your actions and words. Never punish out of anger, or more than the offense calls for.
    4. Be considerate of others in your bearing, manners and words. Be attentive to others needs. Do not expect repayment of any kind for your actions.
    5. Protect those who are not able to protect themselves. Never take advantage of those who are weak, or in an emotional state.

    A phrase I never want to hear again, and needs to die a quick death - "PC" or "Politically Correct."

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      Thank you for you answer.
      This is very interesting. When I wrote the question, I did consider whether being a gentleman and being chivalrous was the same or different traits.
      I have always considered chivalry to be the code of the gentleman. I have never thought of chivalry as an addition the good manners and kindness of the gentleman.

      Perhaps chivalry has been mistaken for sexual harassment or oppressive behaviour due to the erroneous notion that men should only treat women in a gentlemanly and chivalrous manner rather that everybody.

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      After much reading of historical novels I saw a person could be a gentleman, but not be chivalrous. He can have manners, but no courage. He can be a gentleman, and have courage, but no honor. So, that is how I developed my view.

      Chivalry can be seen as oppressive to some because they see as holding others, particularly women, at a lower class level. Actually, it holds them at a higher class level as the man serves her. He holds the door, and allows her to enter first. He allows her to be seated first. A powerful statement - the general sits, then the troops.

      What is supposed to be seen as a sign of respect and general courtesy has just been twisted.

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      What's wrong with the PC master race?

  • A gentleman is a man who values people and therefore he treats other people with respect. He respects people by showing consideration to others, being mindful of their presence and well being and acting in such a way as to preserve their dignity. A gentleman demonstrates consideration to others by having good manners. Manners are social rules and customs that guide our conduct so that we may interact and live together peacefully, happily and at times efficiently. For example, when waiting to board a bus, allowing passengers to alight from the bus before you get on is good manners. This promotes efficiency and orderliness and such things are second nature to the gentleman. Another example would be stopping to assist a mother with a baby, who is struggling in a shopping centre carpark to fold her pram and place it in her car. The reason why a gentleman values and cares for other people is because he values and cares for himself. People who lack self-respect will generally not respect others. A man who has no concept of manners or consideration of others is not a gentleman. A society in which men are gentlemen and women are ladies is a highly civilised and pleasant place to be. By contrast societies where people are selfish and lack respect, are often violent, cold and indifferent places that are riddled with corruption and inefficiency. I hope that this mini-essay on gentleman has lent you some insight.

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      Thank you for you input and for taking the time to write such a comprehensive answer.
      I agree with you on every point.
      It is interesting to see that most answers thus far have focused on being respectful and helping women. It is a greatly overlooked part of be a gentleman that he cares for everybody.

  • I laughed at the women's responses because, in reality, they date men who are bad for them. Then they think they can change them in the end. Women reward bad behavior with sex and friendzone the guys who are nice to them. That's just the way it is.

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  • A gentleman is a person who respects everyone needless of who he/she is. At the same time he has his own boundaries as well. If someone crosses his boundaries he will be able to defend it. A person who is just be himself no matter what others think. Don’t seek approvals from others for his doings.

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  • A gentleman means to be direct. Straight forward. Precise. To be driven. To have purpose in life. To make whatever you want and whatever makes you happy in life. A gentleman when is with his lady should open the door for her. He needs to make plans. Not to put someone on a pedestal. And definitive not being a doormat for any girls. Doesn't matter how pretty she is. Treat all women's the same.

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  • Simple

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  • A gentlemen treats everyone with respect. Not because all deserve it but because he's a man. A gentleman will look you in the eye. A gentleman is not shook by others because he's a man. A gentleman is a man of his word and his word carries weight.
    Now i want to make it clear if you're a gentleman in this world you'll be reviled by many (men and women alike). Don't worry about it! Many Guys and Girls simply do not know what a real man is in this day and age, Pity them.

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  • The cliche of what a gentleman is would eliminate any value to the gentleman. The aspect of respect treated without nuance would be worthless, but having it's integral esoteric values in tact then a gentleman is that which exudes the highest epitomes of respect and it's finest meaning.

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  • A gentleman is someone who behaves with consideration for others -- all others, not just people who have something to give back.

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  • listen carefully. Have you played RPG as a kid? i have.
    a gentleman is the level 2 paladin with a stick, only able to kill boars in the woods (his game is weak), considering female attraction.
    listen to this wisdomfull track:
    Theory of a deadman - gentleman

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  • a gentleman is a man that cares about women. but he doesn't say or just think about that, he puts it in action.

    gentlemen are often portrayed as holding doors, sharing umbrella, giving your jacket or using it for her to walk on (that last one is extreme I don't want my jacket smudged).
    you don't need to do exactly that to be called one, you don't just be one for the sake of pussy it comes from the core of your being.

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  • A gentleman does not out him self first. He puts his lady first. He will love her better than he loves himself. He will alway ask her how she is doing and when she not good he will try to cheer her up.

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  • A gentleman is chivalrous to ladies and respectful to his fellow man. He is humorous and polite.

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  • Someone who is loving, joyful, peace-loving, patient, kind, goodhearted, faithful, gentle, and self-controled.

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      See Galatians 5:22-23 - a gentleman is of the fruit of the Spirit.

  • Someone who pretends they are not interested in sex.

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  • Girls don't even want a gentleman so no point trying to understand or become one.

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  • A gentleman will die an incel, because women get the clitty tingles for bad boys who treat them poorly.
    Decent men need not apply.

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  • Women like the gentleman? For real? Hell, all this time I thought for sure they didn't care nor appreciated them anymore. Hence why they would be in the friendzone. ... or just not their type.

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  • Respecting others at least as much as he respects himself.

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  • These days, a guy who treats others with respect.

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      I am mistaken in sensing that you might be wishing for a modern gentleman to be something more?

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      Perhaps a little more, yes.

  • If you want an idea what is a gentleman, understand the character of Bruce Wayne (Batman) in The Dark Knight movies or James Bond ☺

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  • I think the opposite of a gentleman is a hedonist.

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  • Chivalry is dead, and so is the landed gentry, so I guess, a gentleman is a dead man.

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  • Being courteous to all but capable of great violence when needed.

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  • A gentleman gets out of the bath to piss in the sink.

    Simples...

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  • a guy with out a lady.

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      Please, elaborate.
      Why would a gentleman not have a partner?

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      its a joke/reference to "nice guys finish last" Which is true. Girls, women don't want a gentlemen. They want nothing to do with them, but be friends.

  • A scholar.

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  • A gentleman is a man who went his own way.

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  • A homo

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  • ^ Right here 😎
    (some1 love me please xD )

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