Married woman with a male personal trainer wrong? What would any husband think or do?

[Anonymous]

What if you're married and your wife goes to a Gym, has a personal boxing trainer(in his 50's and 2 sons), and at the same time they give aerobics classes. Well I don't think nothing of it and she's been going there for a while. we are both at work all day and then we get home at 530pm see one another for 10mins and she takes off to the gym. Doesn't get home till about 930pm. One day she comes home and (tells me...not ASK) that we will be going to Atlanta to see her trainers son in an amateur fight. which is about 10hrs from our house!

We did not end up going because I put my foot down. recently there was an amateur fight and she nagged me for a whole week and I finally told her NO. my thoughts is that some guy is putting the right sweet words in her head and its eating her up!

What would any husband think or say?

Would you tell her to stop going to that gym?

married woman with a male personal trainer wrong?

[Crazbug]

I am traditional and conservative. I believe that men and woman have specific roles in the household. That being said, there must also be mutual respect in your relationship as husband and wife as well as parents. Leading the example for your children so that they can develop a strong sense of self worth and self confidence. They are going to need it for sure!
Okay, so years ago I became a gym rat. I would easily spend 3.5-4 hrs at the gym, three to four days a week. It was totally honorable. I was not messing around with anyone. That's just me. I went to the gym to better myself. Not to impress other's.
I believe you did the right thing in not allowing the trip, because you had personal reservation's that were not resolved with your spouse before hand.
If you tell her that she cannot go to the gym...Not good! Though she is your spouse, you don't own her. You should express your concern's and suggest that she attend a different gym OR that she could get a great work out at home and/or with you.
I had a male personal trainer and it was totally platonic.
BUT if you have concerns with that, maybe check out the reputation of that particular trainer and surely address your spouse with your concerns, perhaps suggest a female trainer or express to her that you would be more comfortable with the situation if she were to get a female trainer.

[Asker]

well here is the deal! she has been going to this gym on and off for about 2yrs and there is no change in her and/or she has not met her goals. 20min ride there and back home. what also gets me is that we are having problems and so is her friend. so that's who is going to the gym with her. I put 2 and 2 together and makes me think since both houses are unhappy, they are up to no good while having their "me time".

[Crazbug]

I understand. Since you're having problems, this gym activity is putting an even greater strain and wedge between you. Regardless of whether or not she's messing around. Your instincts and intuitions cannot be ignored. Obviously what is happening now is not copasetic. Maybe, instead of holding on to past transgressions, you could wash the slate clean on your part. Put all the old trash in the garbage and start up spontaneous romance. Put up the good fight and show her what she means to you.

[Anonymous]

He's throwing himself at your wife which is why he's keeps talking to your wife nicely all the time. But anyway, Atlanta is full of loose, available men, mostly single ones, throwing themselves at married and taken women. So you'd better be careful and try to find the safest places because there's a lot of slutty male hookers who are said to look good out there who will throw themselves at your wife. Good-looking guys in Atlanta look like slutty male hookers, or gigolos.

[rockmom]

one word sticks out here: any. it says to me you're worried about what's acceptable--how it looks to others. forget about that and worry about what you think. you know her. you know how long it should take to get to/from the gym and can find out how long it should take. with that said IMO it seems she's taking too much interest in his sons to not have at least a crush on her trainer.

[Asker]

the same people that give boxing lessons, also give aerobic lessons. so I mest up from the beginning. Its like having her in my friends house and telling her "look I don't want you to go in my friends room but you can still go to his house".

[rockmom]

i have no idea what the significance of aerobics is to the situation but crushing on someone can actually benefit a long term relationship. however, it should not leak into real life such as going to see his sons fights...sounds highly suspicious, unless she's really into the boxing itself.

[d201989]

heres the bottom line man..personal trainers rent out their time blocks in half hours or hours @ about 50 bux an hour..so this guy is either taking your woman or your money either way he's taking something from you and from your relationship..confront her and I'm sure you know what will be coming..the "Your just overbearing/ jealous/ controlling" no your not..if your relationship is suffering because of this then it needs to end like the other guy said she's either cheating physically or emotionally..shes giving more of herself to this trainer than you every day..put an end to it..or go with her for a session and see how it goes..either way get control of the situation and go from there..dont throw away your marriage on a whim tho

[Asker]

well here is the deal! She quit boxing a while back because I told her to, but the same people that give boxing lessons, also give aerobic lessons. so I mest up from the beginning. Its like haveing her in my friends house and telling her "look I don't want you to go in my friends room but you can still go to his house". Yeah "TELLING" me that we should go watch the trainers son 10hrs from my house was freaky and it pissed me off. it Lit a huge lightbulb over my head.

[IdahoJoe]

She should keep it on a professional level with her trainer, not get involved with his personal life, like going to his son's matches, etc. That would be crossing the boundary for me. I allow my wife to use a male personal trainer, and I'm even guessing that she likes his looks, but if she EVER told me or even asked me to involve us in an activity involving his family, I would know it has moved on from looking to wanting. Big difference in focus and attitude in looking and wanting to spend time with someone.

[Rated_R]

Trust me I go to the gym and do 2 hrs of destruction workouts. No woman at my gym with a personal trainer even lasts that long doing sh*t at the gym. Something is up plus I know married women that go to the gym and they don't stay that long also some personal trainers are shady. Either you do the following have her change gyms or start going with her to the gym or go confront this trainer and tell him or or threaten to kick his ass. that's what I would do. I been to the gyms and the only things that keeps a person longer the a couple of hrs is that they are interested in someone there..

[dtaijo174]

Yeah something is up. I workout 5 days/wk and my longest workout is 1hr 15mins... She is screwing around in one way or another.

figure out how many miles it is to the gym & back, then check out her odometer. If she is putting extra miles on or perhaps much less (going elsewhere) then you know she is lying one way or another.

[Asker]

Well I mean, I in some ways feel like I come across as petulant, overbearing and possessive. But at the same time it feels like something is defenatly wrong here.

[dtaijo174]

Hey I know the feeling. You don't want to follow her, but give me a break 4hrs to workout!please... Every single time my gut told me there was something going on, there was. Get your financials in order dude, because the "big D" is comiing! sorry :(

[Asker]

I just don't know what more to do...she is running around with a girlfriend that is also haing issues in her marriage. So putting 2 nd 2 together makes it all fishy. Its a 20min drive and she leaves at 530pm and does not get home till 930pm. the thing is that she's been going there for 2-3yrs and there is no sign or lost weight or toneness.

[Whistling_Dixie]

Wow! 4 hour workout! Hard core! She must not have an once of fat on her! Lucky you! A married woman with a male personal trainer as it is is not wrong. A married woman who nag her husband to go to her personal trainer's son's boxing match, makes me think that she likes her personal trainer. But since she nag you about going with you, then she must not have already throw you out of the picture. You will be there with her, you see.

[-StillWater-]

When I read only the question I thought ''so what's the big deal'', but after I read the rest it sounds fishy to me. I'd be on the lookout if I were you.

[CartoonHero]

Sounds like something is up, guess you've gotta start asking some questions. I swim daily for an hour and I'm dead, so 3-4 hours of boxing sounds ridiculous... unless she's like semi-pro or something.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

i wouldn't want my hubby with a female personal trainer. you have a right to put your foot down and stop this sh*t. you know where it could lead

[brianccc]

U did the right thing but its one of those things that has no rules against it but a good partner is just suppose to not do it

[Anonymous]

Yeah start hiding your money man if you have any. This lady is cheating, maybe if not physically, than at least emotionally.

[Anonymous]

No. She is trying to look good for her husband, why is that so bad?

And married women talk to attractive women all the time, no one yells at them for that.

[brunettebelle]

So did things work out?

[andrewswifey]

HAHAHAHA! I saw this on yahooanswers.(: