Specifically " I really don't want to hurt you, I'm not worth it. Me and you are just way too far apart mentally so I'm not going to be the one who ruins you"
I watched a video about how guys may feel intimidated by a girl because they think that she can find someone so much better than themselves, and so, they will tell the girl they think she can do better than them.
I started thinking back to the day he said this to me, and how we made up later and I said " It felt like you were saying I wasn't good enough for you" and he said "What? No, that's not what I meant". I'm the stereotypical good girl who secretly likes bad boys. And he's that bad boy type. We haven't talked in months, but I still miss him. We still have moments when we look at each other and all I wanna do is run into his arms and hug him. I always think back to the day we made out after going out to a movie. He's been getting with really low-status slutty girls after we stopped talking, but they don't last at all. Did he actually think I could do better, and that's why he left?
Yes. He didn't want to be there when you realized you didn't need him
No. He just wanted to let you down easy because he doesn't like you
Other
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What does it mean when a guy says you can find someone better?
It's not really about him being intimidated. Women always seem to think that when a guy says such things it has to do with intimidation but really that's just an ego thing.
What he's really saying is that he thinks you're too much of a "good girl" for him, and he'd probably end up hurting you. If he's a "bad boy" (as gay as that sounds) he most likely enjoys drinking, partying, drugs maybe, fighting etc. He likes drama. Most importantly he knows he's not stable boyfriend material and probably enjoys "having fun" with multiple women.
If he's gonna do that, he'll probably only do it with girls he knows are already "like that". Who aren't "innocent". When you come across as a good girl then he'll assume that you just want a nice, loyal, stable boyfriend and that his antics would eventually hurt you in some way, in a way that it wouldn't really bother those other girls. So, not wanting to break your heart, he tells you he's no good for you.
You say he's been with low-status slutty girls which I missed before writing the above, that's what I mean. You say "it didn't go well" - he probably knew it wasn't gonna go well anyway and never took them seriously in the first place. He's also probably the kind of guy with whom relationships never go well because he's not a good boyfriend, just like he told you. Your feelings for him are just clouding your judgement of him here.
He means exactly what he says. He feels he is not deserving of you and that you need somebody else. Now the intentions behind it can be anything. But if he is anything less than he is showing and giving you, why even worry? You can't make that person your everything and if you're having premarital sex with them, it gets WORSE. MUCH WORSE. In my close friend's case who went through that, she literally was devastated when one of her exes, before she met her ex-husband, did that. Came to found out he wasn't just having sex with her, he was cheating while he was away stationed where he was. Whether he had sex or not was irrelevant. What made it worse was when she admitted that she was still in love with him, bad enough lost her virginity to the jerk, he admitted to having sex with 5 girls while in Atlanta. And was talking to one of his 'best friends' who wanted sex with him since forever, and told him to dump her because she was a 'little girl with no experience except him'. After that, she needed counseling. So, even if he left, just move on. And he was a bad boy too. Stop dating BAD BOYS. THEY ALL say the same BS!
I don't think he doesn't like you. I think he doesn't want to BE with you. Seems his interest is in the temporary girls he is associating with now. This gets him off the hook of being the bad boy who "ruins" you because of his obnoxious, shitty behavior. He doesn't want the kind of relationship you want: healthy, positive. He wants to slum. Let him. You'll be happier with someone who appreciates the good things you have to give!
It's depends, If you guys were dating it might be genuine. If you weren't dating, he might not be interested in you. By saying he doesn't want to hurt you, he's letting you know he's probably a shitty person and really does not want to hurt you because he can't offer you what you want.
A quote I read somewhere.. "Most men are not running away from a great woman. They are running away from parts of themselves that they are not willing to fix to deserve her!' -Anon-
It depends. Some guys might use that as an excuse when they do not want to date you any longer. Some guys might really believe it. No one will ever hear that from me. When I break it off I always tell the truth, which so far has been, "You are (nice, sweet, fun, whatever) but it just is not clicking for me on a romantic level." Rather than waste her time and mine, I end it so that she and I can both find someone more compatible.
It's their chicken shit way of encouraging you to break up with them because they do not want to be the bad guy (or bad girl - both sexes pull this nonsense). This also allows them to be the victim if you do break it off, too. You will meet these sorts of sons of bitches throughout your life, and frankly, yes, you are better off without them. No one needs a fair weather lover in their life.
It really does suck when this happen. I've been told by an ex that he felt inadequate and not good enough just because I was in the military. It's like once they get it in their heads that we just wanna love them then everyone will be happy.
Maybe he was intimidated by you but he also may have been saving you the heart ache knowing he was not ready to commit and knowing it would hurt you badly!
Ok I don’t mind him imagining that I fact lo behold some ex of mine probably sent out a topless pic n another one in a cheetah strapless to all in my PaperlessPost list. He was on it too. My ex too. Great I got such smirks
I have I just wanted to understand why he still loves looking or off late telling me that I can ask him about anything because I had not talked in 3 months. Sort of an analysis. I’m not feeling that butterfly feeling I did before when I used to see him
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