No Contact Rule for Valentines Day?

[Anonymous]

Short story: Dated for a year have been broken up for 4 months. Mid December and all of January we went back out on dates and even spent the night together. We both said we missed each other now for the last 2 weeks he's ignored me and won't text back. RARELY. I'm always the one initiating contact so tired of feeling desperate and clingy. I have implemented my no contact rule. So what's his deal? should I do or say something for Valentine's day or should I just go about my business?

[Anonymous]

Well I tried and tried to get my ex to appreciate me. January She sent me a Nice text for New Years uninitiated by myself. Nothing I did, flowers, cards, texts, gifts did anything but drive her away. I am a great guy and good looking but we were too far apart in a long distance relationship. Last email exchange she blocked me for telling her I wanted us to be together. Just made no sense, the less I did he more she wanted me when I tried to win her back she got further and further away to the point of blocking my email. I have not heard from her and her not from me for 6 weeks and here it is Valentines Day and I am not about to send her anything more.

I tried to listen to advice but I loved her so much I had to do what my heart told me and it was all the wrong things. The fact is I need distance and time to heal but yes Valentines Day is a hard time. I tried so hard for us to continue even in friendship but she demeaned me to simply texts and email every few weeks or days and refused to answer her phone or phone me for months. I simply can not stand to be in that position. I am not going to subject myself to this any longer. I broke all ties shortly after she blocked my email address. I am sure she expects something in the mail. an ecard or something from me because I gave it my best effort. I thought she was so special and so much better than other women but I was so wrong.

I am taking my time, seeing other people and moving forward though there is not a day that goes by when I don't think of her and feel so awful that she chose to treat me the way she did. The reality of everything is she only treated me this way because I kept coming back for her. She will not treat me that way any longer even if I have to let go for an eternity. So NO you do not send an EX anything on Valentines Day. Letting go is the only way to get anyone back. It's opposite of everything you're feeling but you have to do it and as time goes on they either learn to treat you right or you heal.

[Anonymous]

my situation is almost precisely the same as yours. We went on dates in january, we also spent a night together, we kept talking to each other, had a couple more dates. Now for a few weeks two/three he's ignored me completely! WTF?!

My answers not much help I know, sorry but I wanted to let you know that I know the exact feeling, I'm wondering what's his deal too? Id really like to hear what people say about this question too.

[Asker]

I think for my own sake dignity and pride. I will remain silent. I will not reach out to him. I have done so so many times and its still hasn't made him miss me or care more about me. I say we move on :)

[Opinion Owner]

I know. since being first 'ignored', I kept silent for a week or so, today I text him again no reply. I've given this all so many chances. Ijdk anymore. We SO don't deserve this! Yes, we keep our heads high, we have our dignity and at least we can say we tried! Its a bit more comforting at least to know that someone really does understand this feeling, its happening to two of us, so we can't surely be all to blame. Good luck with this huni :-)

[Tamikaze]

This guy is a douche and the only thing worse than his treatment is your treatment of yourself. Don't you deserve better than this? Would you let a friend of yours accept such treatment from a guy and think that was great?

Expect better for yourself rather than hold on to someone who is treating you so poorly. This isn't about Valentine's day, this is about forever.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your advice. I ran into his best friend and he told me to move on. He sadi the same thing you did. He also let me know that he's known the guys for 20 years and he will never change. He said "I know that guys care A LOT about you but your way to cool to wait around until he decides he's not scared..Move on." Thanks for all the advice

[Tamikaze]

Your welcome!