Girl randomly stops talking to me?

[Anonymous]

OK seems to happen a lot to me. I always hit it off with girls and go on a few dates, things always seem going good even their facebook status would have comments about a good night. but usually randomly they will stop texting me out of the blue. after a few unresponsive texts I have to stop talking to them so I won't be a pain to them. I am a good looking guy with a good job and happy life. maybe I am too nice?

Updates

+1 y

Yeah I understand the whole pursuit thing. but with different girls I have tried and let them know I like them straight up, while others I played the game. and this is about id say 4 cases so obviously the common denom. is me...missing something?

[ArtistBboy]

My best friends wife admitted to doing this behavior with many guys.. Really, it's a great opportunity to show the other women that your "not in it for sex" and that you "have a life" yet you still "think about them"..

These keypoints are what separate the "bad guys" from the "good guys".. And believe you me, if I was a woman, I'd be doing everything I could to stay away from the bad guys.. There's no joy in being used as a blow-up-doll or being shuffled around amongst other women.. blah blah blah.

When I first read your question, I thought that maybe your right.. Maybe these girls are getting too familiar with you.. But then I stopped at that point.. What if that's it? What if they ARE too familiar and are getting too scared?

Look man, you DON'T have to "continuously escalate" IN HIGH AMMOUNTS.. Sometimes it's better to lean back a little but show them you still think about them..

Here's an BAD example:

(Great date already, both of you seemed to connect)

(2 days go by, still going strong)

Then you text: "Hey are you free later"... nothing back.. And you call.. No answer.. And you talk to her friend.. No answer..

- This communicates to the girl that you are "desperate" for her.. Which can make you seem pushy and "Sex-oriented" in a woman's eyes..

Here's a good example:

(Great date already, both of you seemed to connect)

(2 days go by, still going strong)

Then you text: "Hey I'll be going to the movies later, I'd like you to join".. Nothing back.. You go to the movies, still no response.. Let it fly the rest of the night, go do your own thing (maybe she's busy at work or with family?).. Then the following morning, shoot another text: "(the movie name) was definitely the type of movie for you, can't believe you didn't go".. Nothing.. At this point, you shouldn't assume anything because she's given you nothing TO assume.. But my rule is the rule of 3's and then you walk away, no sense of chasing forever.. So your last action, maybe you know she's been having a hard time lately (family in the hospital/etc).. Swing by and get her a teddy bear and a single flower.. Leave it on her doorstep (she'll know who it's from, unless her IQ is less than 20).. And at that point, you back away and let her contact you.

- This communicates: "I'm thinking of you" even when your not around her.. This shows your sincerity and chivalry.

So long story short -> I think they are scared to pursue anything more with you.. And I think your making "Excuses" for not pursuing them (to show them that you really want them in the first place)

~ ArtistBBoy

[Asker]

yeah well put, I just don't see how all of sudden they decide they like me but feel the best way is to ignore to the point that puts me in an awkward situation, I'm a normal person I have no stalking qualities lol. they know I like them and that I'm not a guy to be afraid so I don't think its excuses I just think I don't want to deal with games YES they are pursue worthy but by showing a quality of immaturity like that I think takes them down a few notches in which I wouldn't pursue in the first place

[ArtistBboy]

Just like your feeling the whole "f*** the game" bullsh*t - women are saying "f*** the relationship".. Dude, so many people get f***ed over between birth and highschool, and by the time college hits they are jaded/pissed/indifferent about relationships. If you want to be "the best guy out there" then it takes the actions - not the words.. You can't say: "I'm a good guy".. You have to show it man. I know how frustrating it seems and feels, but sometimes that's what it takes.

[SweetGal24]

even if I'm smitten after the first few dates with a guy, I create a little distance with the guy just to protect myself. the last thing I want to do is let him know I'm all into him and scare him off. so instead I become a little awol in hopes that he won't stop thinking about me and text or call me. I like a guy that knows what he wants and to be confident enough to go after it. when I don't get that response from a guy, I know he wasn't interested enough to pursue me and I move on. I know it's game playing and a lot of people don't like it, but you have to protect yourself when it comes to matters of the heart.

i say, if you find a girl that you really like, don't be afraid to let her know and pursue her. kind of like ashton kutcher in no strings attached. he had a good balance or pursuing a girl as opposed to stalking her. good luck~

[Asker]

alittle awol of completly? id say this one girl I texted about 4 times over a week and heard nothing, I don't know about you but I feel stupid pursuing after that because I would be alittle peaved if someone kept after me after that. also one girl we slept together one of the first nights and she was kind of worried about it being too soon but I did the nice thing (I liked her anyway) and kept talking to her when I could have just moved on you think that would instill some confidence

[asdaven]

But then if a guy keeps trying when a girl does that, then he looks desperate and the girl loses attraction. So where's the line between desperate and persistent? Cause I think I'm being persistent sometimes and showing a girl I like here and it's comes off as appearing needy and desperate

[hockeychick25]

I'd say either you are too nice or you two both wanted different things. I know for myself I don't want a relationship right now because I'm graduating from college in a few months so I'm just looking to have fun. Unfortunately I have had the same issue with guys and it's been because I'm a nice person and go out of my way for everyone else and that comes back to bite me in the ass. I say if she is going to stop talking to you then don't waste anymore of your time on her. Sometimes you need to state right away if you are interested in doing this for a relationship or just for casual dating. Otherwise that's how feelings get hurt and things like this happen.

[Misssixty83]

Completely agree :o)

[Asker]

ya you girls want nice guys but apparently not lol. when I'm a d*** to girls I don't like they come after me, classic example. can't win

[Misssixty83]

Believe me, I actually go for the nice guys. They ain't so great though as they can't handle anything emotionally and run away due to fear!...usually back to their mummys!

[Anonymous]

Can't even say it's a female thing as even I don't understand. maybe it's how the film says "(S)He's just not that into you" and didn't want to upset you by saying so. Spineless really but if they are young then it's just their age.

[hockeychick25]

I don't go for nice guys per say. I go for a balanced guy that is nice but also has a bad boy side. Or the one I have been messing with now who has an emotional side but he's a total asshole. He has his moments of being really sweet and his moments where I just want to kill him.

[ERhae]

They simply aren't interested obviously & its not reflective on you...maybe it is the type of girl your attracted to that maybe sabotages the situation? Maybe your not too nice...but the girls your responding to aren't nice enough hun. - E

[JenniferBrown]

Obviously, they aren't interested in you. You need to work on yourself.