I rejected him and he deleted me?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I've been speaking to this guy for 3 months and have seen him a few times. We told each other that we both weren't looking for anything serious but agreed to still speak and have 'fun' together. We would have deep chats and he would stay over sometimes. Recently I messaged him nicely telling him that I didn't think we should see each other again. He ignored it and then deleted me off everything. I don't understand why?

[SueShe]

Personal vengeance that you dared to practically dictate him that you were not interested in pursuing the contact with him.

Some people take it as a personal attack that others don't want anything to do anymore with them rather than to be open about it and accept it as a fact of life. That is a typical demonstration of a childish behavior of a guy that is not capable of being master of his emotions.

He wants to make a clear cut from you as if you never existed. I would not take it too tragically because that way he demonstrates that he would have been a rather unreliable person to be on a long term relation.

I don't know his age but as a rule of thumb, you can say that guys are usually less mature than girls by about 2 to 3 years. So if he acted like that at age 19, his maturity is more the one of a boy age 16-17 and that is typical for that type of reaction.

You are better off looking for someone that has the maturity to be your equal.

[Asker]

I agree with this. Thanks

[SueShe]

thanks for the MHO

[holograph]

I guess he saw no point to continuing contact with you. Maybe he's one of those people that believes men and women can't be friends so if there's nothing physical then it's pointless. Or maybe he thought, based on how you worded what you told him, that you didn't want to be in contact with him at all anymore.

[ghostbunnywhite]

U get it wrong, he done it because maybe he know his limit and doesn't want cross the line..

[Asker]

I messaged him in a nice way, and I felt that if he had an issue with not seeing me then he could have told me. But he said nothing at all. I never deleted him as I saw no reason to?

[holograph]

He probably saw no path forward with you so he figured there's no point in keeping you on the list. And he might have thought you would prefer to go no-contact too. Literally might've thought he was doing both of you a favor.

[Asker]

Hmm possibly. Sounds like he didn’t really care much then?

[holograph]

I don't think there's any way to determine how much he did or did not care. A good guy will respect a woman's rejection. I know some people think "well he didn't chase me so he didn't care so it's for the better" but that's the wrong mindset. If women want us to respect when they tell us no (which I honestly believe is how it should be, and is how I myself expect to be treated) then there is no way for women to judge that we didn't care.

If we don't respect when you say no, then that's when things like date rape happen, which I obviously don't support. Because if we don't know if "no means no" then sometimes some guys are going to assume "no means yes" even when you really, really did mean no.

So he really does have to assume that when you say no, you mean no, and as such I don't think you should judge him as not having cared. In fact I think it would be really disrespectful to think that of him.

[Asker]

Yes I completely agree with you. However I did ask him why he deleted me and his words were “I’m not bothered” & “you said you didn’t want to see me”. I’m not sure if that was coming from a respectful place or just a place of rejection but I don’t have any bad feelings towards him. It’s just a shame that it had to ‘end’ like that. I would have been friends.

[WTFever]

Could it possibly be because you told him you didn't want to see him again?

I'm pretty sure it has something to do with that.

[Asker]

He didn’t even ask why I didn’t want to see him?

[WTFever]

Yeah, but maybe he was just respecting your wishes, and not contacting you anymore.

[Anonymous]

He probably felt what you did was unfair/was angry about it.

[Asker]

I asked him about it and he said he ‘wasn’t bothered’. Not sure whether to believe that

[Opinion Owner]

I tend to doubt that since he blocked you, but I guess it could be what he does when rejected.

[Asker]

Maybe an ego thing

[John_Doesnt]

Are you retarded? Why wouldn't he delete you after you said you didn't want to see him?

[Asker]

No need to be rude. If someone said they didn’t want to see me I wouldn’t delete them

[Anonymous]

Are you fucking kidding? You rejected him and he respected that, and now that's not good enough for you?

[Charlie_King]

Straight up. You reap what you sow.

[Asker]

I understand what you are saying but I hoped to ‘end things’ with a nice message which he did not acknowledge or ask the reason. Better than me ghosting him?

[Opinion Owner]

Once you cut someone off they owe you absolutely nothing. Choose better words next time.

[Asker]

Agreed they don’t owe me anything. I definitely could not have said it any nicer...

[Charlie_King]

Just gotta let him go. Think about how things played out and do it differently next time since you didn't like this outcome.

[Charlie_King]

I guess the real question is why did you think you and him shouldn't see each other anymore?

[Asker]

@Charlie_King The more I saw him the more he changed. He began to get very cocky and would no longer want to stay. I didn’t like how I was starting to be treated, but doesn’t mean I didn’t still care for him

[Charlie_King]

Well if he was turning out to be that way then you dodged a bullet.

[spartan55]

Because you dumped him, duh.

[Asker]

It wasn’t really a dump.

[spartan55]

How would you spin it?

[Iron_Man]

Well shame on him it's his loss