Ok this guy I was talking to for 2 months ended things with me because I I told him I wasn't sure it was if it was going to work long distance so he took it literally and said I made my decision and hung up because I was suspecting he was talking to other women but never got around telling him but this what happened after he hung up on me but before his last words to me he told good bye I liked his comment and said ok because I was done at the point then he said ok what? And then at my story of a video I post of myself afterwards the that when he said never and removed me from following him and then hours later we both were no longer friends on IG. I'm looking for guy opinions but women are welcome to answer as well.. did I make a mistake?
Why did he delete me instead of blocking me?
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Well that is rough. We all fight. And I love your last sentence "did I make a mistake" that is beautiful humility. Only being humble can we realize we need to learn.
So sorry you both had a fight. In the future keep in mind its sometimes good to give space. "where there is no fuel the fire goes out." so just take a breather and let them know you care but time to think is needed.
Important point. When you tell someone you don't think it will work out there is no other way to take that but literal. We guys tend to take things like that at face value. And we don't invest in washy washy. If a girl does not know what she wants its a rake-over-the-coals that is coming. I have experienced it way too much. Not that it does any good now, but a better phrasing would be "Long distance is going to be really hard. Do you think this will work out?" Long distance IS hard. Your phrasing was a conclusion not a question. Of course we don't see the exact wording in here. I can only go off what you put in the into.
Only practical advice I can give you right now is go back to what you where doing, the life you where leading before you met him. And let things lay. If it is a long distance then its probably going to be easier since he is not something you will see everyday. And don't take this personal as if there is some completely broken part of you that will run the next guy off. I mean you might but lmao it happens to the best of us. There are a million guys that will work. There is no one-for-you that you just lost.
My experience has been far worse than this. I have had women accuse me of the most horrible things because they where mad and had no control. The wanted to "win" at something. Not just block me but actively try to spy and destroy me. so be glad this is a nice little clean cut. And I know there are a million women out there that I can choose from and who would be glad to have me. And I will make mistakes with. And sadly hurt them. But a good one. will forgive and then I will have found the qualities I need. So will you.
He really don't care about you, he have other girls lined up that why he gave you up so easily, its okay to share whats in your mind and it doesn't dictate anything, its just you sharing your feelings, a good man should always listen to his girl. No matter what it seems like the relationship was toxic. Best thing for you is to move forward. Find some activities goto gym do some sports concentrate on your goals and objectives. Move forward.
Read up on gaslighting. His communication is toxic. Seriously read up on it and stop questioning yourself. The very fact that you post this, worrying about what you have possibly done wrong shows, that you self reflect.
I believe he is a narcissist. His communication pattern shows gaslighting, black and white thinking, lack of empathy, controling behavior. You bruised his ego. Brusing a narcissists ego results in a rage like that. Why do I think that? He offered you breadcrumbs in words but really meant to humiliate you, when he said you may write to him and HE DECIDES wether you are worth his time and commitment at that moment.
It is a twisted mind. Watch videos of Dr. Ramani or Sam Vaknin on narcissism and you will realize, that he did you a huge favor by discarding you.
Be careful though, he might return and then be prepared to say no.
I disagree with the other comments. I do not think you played him. By beeing honest and talking about it you did the exact opposite. You behaved like a mature adult, he raged like a angry toddler with wide shoulders.
Whenever you have the feeling, that you have to make screenshots or record a conversation, because you feel like something might me weong, then my dear, rest assured that something is wrong.
To answer your question: He deleted your number to show you, that he has no interest in contacting you. He did not block you though. Why? He likes the idea that you will chase after him. If he really did not want contact he would have blocked you. It is another act of humiliation. If you contact him he gets an ego boost. He will get another one by either ignoring you or responding negatively. Or, the worst of all cases would be, that he responds positively and everything starts from the beginning.
Damn he he did say that he blocked his exes and never contacted them again based off based the situation and what happened and next thing you know they'd pop and he tell me that he didn't want Nothing to do with them and some cases they didn't do bad but he would respond in a negative way when they came back but if he would reach out first I wouldn't know about though
There you go, he is lying, too. The girl he is with right now thinks he blocked you, too. She will hear you are crazy and all sorts of things. It is always the same. Beat him at his own game by being smarter than him and having self respect. Don't even give this alien the slightest chance of humiliating you again. If you do nothing, he will have embarassed him self and that is zow the story ends.
First before we ended I was getting restricted phone calls and now I'm getting phones and no one is saying a word.. and when I call back they don't answer could it be him?
I happened towards the end when I caught him going talking to another girl I heard when a man is about to dump you for someone else they'll purposely leave out your number so another woman would call it
Because he doesn’t have an issue with you, as he said in his messages, so there isn’t a need to block you. Blocking is so there’s no way for you to contact him and he said he doesn’t mind talking. Yes he was pretty rude with how he went about it and didn’t have to be so harsh, but I get his perspective. Some people don’t accept maybe’s or straddling the fence when it comes to big decisions in relationships. Like if someone asks if you want to breakup and you say you don’t know or maybe, does that feel acceptable for you? It’s yes or no. So in his shoes when asking if you want to continue the LDR, he may feel like if your answer isn’t a yes then it may as well be no. I totally get that for some people, the answer isn’t as simple as yes or no. But for others (like him) it really is that simple, and he’d rather not wait around for you to decide if him and the situation are worth it enough or not. I’m sure that makes you feel bad, but it is what it is.
LDR is a long distance relationship☺️ and to clarify, I don’t think you’re wrong for being uncertain about that sort of relationship, because it is not made for everyone and usually it is meant to be temporary. But he is just the sort of guy who isn’t into indecisiveness and doesn’t seem to have the patience for it. That sort of personality either works for you, or it’s too harsh and it doesn’t. I respect his thought process but personally it would not work for me.
You could be very correct! But I feel like that situation was a bit tricky, because it could’ve been a thing where yeah he was on a date with another girl, but unless you two were talking exclusively then technically he wasn’t wrong for it. It also may have been a sign that he was done dating others and wanted to commit to you if he put an LDR on the table. But if none of that is the case, then it sounds like you dodged a bullet. A lot of trust is required for that situation to work and you may not have been able to trust him.
Sounds like you were playing games and he did turnabout fairplay so it turned into that. Without further context it's hard to say 🤷♂️, but my instincts tell me you felt some type of way, had an attitude and he didn't want to deal with it.
Which is why his communication with you here was so clinical. Little weird he left the door open towards the end. Probably him giving you opportunity to "act right" per his view of what that looks like. And you took that time to say you're not going to beg when he was reacting to how you came at him anyways 🙈
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
So basically when left the door open he really didn't want me to leave?
He sounded frustrated. Like he was cool with you but he was over However you were acting. So when you turned up the heat that was last straw time and did the unfollowing or whatever.
Seems like he would have rather kept you but it wasn't worth the headache to him anymore
You're both acting childish. This whole thing just seems toxic and not even worth your time or his. You were suspecting he was talking to other girls so there is already a trust issue. Was your suspicion reasonable?
This whole thing about not calling you is a little out there. To be honest I did not read through all the texts you posted but. Yea... Sometimes you both are busy and unless something is a emergency can't get back right away.
With that being said but this whole argument is just... dumb to be honest
Telling people you're not sure if "things are gonna work out" is all enough reason for them to stop talking to you, let's be real about this now. It's been two months and the both of you are arguing over nothing. It just seems to me that if you had something on your mind, you should've spoke about it rather than hold onto it. Because arguments like this happen and believe me, you both take L 's.
He's done with you, so don't worry about him. Just move on and learn from this. Hopefully he learns as well.
Looks to me this could be one of three things: 1. He may have someone else lined up and was looking for an excuse. 2. He’s been through something similar in the past and thinks you’re playing games with him. 3. He’s a narcissist and playing games with you.
Say I was seriously considering committing to a woman & all she could tell me was "she's not sure". I wouldn't of wasted a second longer because you're playing games & I'll find someone that knows what she wants. Having boundaries isn't manipulation.
I don't know what happened but he's rude and I can say almost all guys I've had interactions with online become snappy like that. so I wouldn't feel bad, and I'd be glad he's gone.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
You're way overthinking this. If a dude goes that nuts over something so tiny, you thank your lucky stars you found out early and walk away. It's a win.
I'm not blaming anyone here... It's not about who's right or wrong. Some people are like that and you can't do anything about it. Be thankful that it's over sooner than later. That guy seems to have some issues going on or maybe some past relationship issues
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