No, this isn't a post about gender identity. It's not a post about gender equality. It's a question about an experience and what it means to be male
Personally, I dont think it's great to be a guy as I hear it so often said. Everything surrounding it in this society usually comes with heavy expectations and misunderstanding. To be fair, a lot of this comes from our own gender. I feel we hold each other to higher expectations than we do ourselves. Our misdeeds are heavily criticized, our customs are expected and our behavior is moderated.
From birth, we are often told not to cry, but the we are criticized for not being able to open up. We are told to ask for help if we need it, but always told to man up when it's not there. Our insecurities are heavily guarded because, acknowledging them goes against our code. Be perfect, never fail, provide then... die?
I would go so far to say that there is an undertone of male disposability. 99% of work place accidents are male. We are 3.54 times as likely to commit suicide. And on average, live a whole decade less. However, suck it up buttercup.
In an odd way, it is rewarding to be a good man. To place others first. To protect. To be dependable and to support the ones you love at all costs.
But sometimes I wonder, is it really great to be a guy?
Leave a vote and ladies, feel free to chime in! Take care folks.
"It's a question about an experience and what it means to be male"
Simple. A male human being. The biggest difference is that we have a penis and if we are lucky, we can even have a good beard!
Given the gender you were born as (like being dealt with cards in a card game) if you want to be happy, then your job would be to win in life. Take pride in your strengths, (be adequately rebellious if you have to) and make your name shine. The opposite sex will notice it!
"Personally, I dont think it's great to be a guy as I hear it so often said. Everything surrounding it in this society usually comes with heavy expectations and misunderstanding."
This could be our own fault if we hold ourselves onto unrealistic standards. It's bound to happen until we decide to pursue realistic standards instead. Toxic masculinity is a thing for a reason. The biggest toxicity source here is caused by ourselves - IF WE ALLOW IT TO!!!
"Our misdeeds are heavily criticized, our customs are expected and our behavior is moderated."
Perfect to the point I made just above. You could start with "not giving a damn" and move on. If they're not supportive of you, at least have them in the background. If they're toxic, you know what to do. If not - cut them out. Life will deal with them accordingly. YOU steer your own train!
"From birth, we are often told not to cry, but the we are criticized for not being able to open up."
Ahhh! Our all time nemesis. The cause of our depression, social isolation and alcoholism. I only know it too well. Unfortunately there's still no easy fix for this (I know, there should be one by now but society doesn't follow up effectively). Fall apart when you're alone in YOUR home/room/whatever. Somewhere, where you're locked by yourself. You risk a lot by just shedding tears! Know who your friends or trusted ones are!
"We are told to ask for help if we need it, but always told to man up when it's not there."
You've been asking the wrong people. Ask the right people!
"Our insecurities are heavily guarded because, acknowledging them goes against our code."
AKA this is our "always ready for battle" mode. When it comes this far, then it's time to ask for help from the right people. Also adapt!
"Be perfect, never fail, provide then... die?"
Then you've been listening to the wrong people again. On the other side of the fence, women are told too "Be perfect, always be beautiful, give birth then... die"
This is why MGTOW is gaining popularity (and so did the Feminazis I suppose).
"I would go so far to say that there is an undertone of male disposability. 99% of work place accidents are male."
Unfortunate indeed. You see women don't choose life threatening jobs and neither do non-suicidal men, who actually care about their own body, health, mind etc...
You could ask yourself, would you really want to work in an environment, where your safety is not considered? I wouldn't. But I can't say many have the choice.
"We are 3.54 times as likely to commit suicide. And on average, live a whole decade less."
I understand this concern perfectly and I would say this was caused by the symptoms above. If we won't take our pride and stand our ground and say "NO" to being disrespected, abused, taken advantage of etc..., then stuff like this will keep happening.
"In an odd way, it is rewarding to be a good man. To place others first. To protect. To be dependable and to support the ones you love at all costs."
Indeed! But only those loved ones, who deserve all that. Or truly helpless souls. BUT CERTAINLY NOT THE THANKLESS ONES!!!
"But sometimes I wonder, is it really great to be a guy?"
We live only once. We don't get to live a second time. How can we judge from living as just one of the 2 genders? And take into consideration the 1000 other variables: Location, growing up, culture, influence from families and the environment, resourcefulness (or lack thereof)...
The biggest step one can take regardless of gender is to take pride of yourself, utilize what's at your disposal, utilize your strengths, keep updated about your weaknesses, look out for those, who you care about AND LEAVE THE WRONG PEOPLE INTO OBLIVION!!! Sometimes it's us, who shoot ourselves in our feet (which is why you see so many men marry, then get divorce-raped, so their finances are blown back to their high school times)! This is what I love to call a lack of personal responsibility.
I voted for "Being a guy doesn't matter" as it's the closest I can come to it.
Because sometimes you have to adapt to change. Change is constant. Keep updated. Don't get beaten down. Take on personal responsibilities yourself because if you don't, then nobody else will.
Your question is impossible to answer because you say you don't want to hear about gender equality but then talk about the expectations placed on men
If we compare to the expectations placed on women to men to see which is better? Now we have to talk about gender equality
(Also note most of your concerns come under the heading toxic masculinity)
But I'll try anyways
Men Get better looking as we age Pee anywhere Increased muscle density Higher adrenaline ceiling Higher spatial awareness More easily enters flow states More resistant to virii
Women Increased social skills Increased verbal skills Increased math skills Lower oxygen requirements Lower food requirements Lower water requirements Greater emotional awareness More resistant to bacteria
(Personally I love the muscle density so I'll give up the increased brain power of women any day of the week, but maybe I'm stupid that way)
The list above aside It's totally better to be a guy even factoring in toxic masculinity in our society
What's weird to me is people who don't like the disposable hero aspect of manhood but constantly affirm toxic masculinity
It's so backwards to me, there is no nobler thing to lay down your life for others in a cause you believe in, the male chromosome is a mutation for warriors not sad sacks who worry what other people think Autodarwinate pls
I'd love the experience of being a guy at least for a bit.
I feel like it would be an englightening experience for me as a cis woman. I would hope to gain a greater understanding of how my male counterparts feel, think, and experience life.
I illegally took estrogen for a week to see what it was like (Cue a panic attack because for the first 12 hours I couldn't get an erection lol)
It was eye opening, I think everyone should try it, I found myself to be friendlier and more open to having conversations with strangers
I'm a massive introvert so that's kind of a big deal and I was shocked that every morning I greeted my co-workers with a smile instead of walking by with my head down
I'm guessing taking testosterone would increase aggressiveness and self confidence in a women, just pretend you are 3x as strong and that's being a guy right there lol
I was on hormonal birth control for 5 years. I fucking lost my mind, nearly literally. It was like my brain lost all critical thinking skills.
I plan to just dress as a dude once I can get myself to a point where I'm happy doing so. Not all the time, and not often, but for an occasional experience. And to fuck with gender bc it can't fuck back.
I never hear that! However, maybe we both just think the grass is greener ya know? Just wish everyone treated everyone equally. In all things. Thank you!
Being a guy with depression is fucking horrible. No one actually listens to my problems, like maybe I've been writing my suicide notes, maybe I've been browsing the dark web for weapons, maybe there's a reason I'm not motivated, underweight and don't go outside much. My family especially doesn't listen, but when a female cousin of mine has a break-up with her boyfriend of 4 months they're all over her, making sure she's all okay. Like, excuse me wtf? It's not like I can't deal with my own problems, these thoughts about suicide are long gone, but the empty feeling, lack of motivation and all that still remains. The only ones who actually listen are the ones we call "sexist pigs" and have "toxic masculinity". And that's just my experience with being a guy with depression in my family, not accounting for all the people in school, sports clubs, online communities, etc who have the same dismissive attitude towards men. Being a man in the modern world is no better than being a woman and getting called a sexist cunt for saying that is really getting on my nerves. Men might not face more problems than women, I'm totally not saying we do, but at least women get taken fucking seriously. I can't even fucking pick up my grandma anymore because all she fucking does is complain about the symptoms of my depression as if they're not literal symptoms of my depression. I told my mom I might have a fracture somewhere in my right leg that never healed properly and that's probably why my leg is fucked, she laughed at me and told me to quit complaining. If your own family treats you differently because of your gender, it's not gonna be fun being said gender, male or female. So it's a matter of perspective really.
I know how it was, it is not normal, it might not even be common, but I feel your words. It got at the point where I had to imagine hugging my own self because nobody fathomed doing it. I dont expect you to accept any wish of mine to help out, or even an encouragement, but at least give a chance to the fact that at least today, someone feels, understands, what you wrote. Even the part where your nice demeanor gave way for an angry, revolted side to come to light because of the ignorance placed towards your pain. It wasn't an easy trick for me to open up to a therapist, but things got too serious to believe I was still able to fix them. And then there's the problem that said therapist might not be the right one and the fatigue of repeating everything all over again to someone else is a burden. You don't know me and you have no reason to care about how I feel, just a dude on the internet. But if you give yourself the chance you deserve, and you know you deserve it; If you don't lose hope, I would be happy. Perhaps because I was there and I want you to succeed. But, I mean, if people don't want to have the humanity to listen to you, at least a therapist is paid to, and I truly hope they also can offer, at least, some insightful help.
Now this does put a smile on my face. Thank you for your kind words, stranger. I like these bro moments, makes me feel like at least someone cares. In the last 13 years (which is crazy cuz I'm only 18) I've learned that being taken seriously, being respected and being an actual human being in other people's eyes is not a given, it's something a lot of people have to work really hard for. I think I'm on the right track though, started a new band, got back with my girlfriend, who I had no reason to break up with tbh. I'm picking up my life bit by bit and words like yours actually help quite a bit with that. So, again, thank you, kind stranger. :)
Incidence of rape among college-aged boys/men increasing despite lack of attention: Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Rape and Sexual Victimization Among College-Aged Females, 1995-2013 (2014).
Large national Canadian study that FIRST found women at 4 times greater risk of on-job physical violence redone by expert statistical team. Increased risk DISAPPEARED when sexual violence was separated out--different violence risks for the two genders, but EQUAL overall risk: Stephanie Lanthier, Amber Bielecky, Peter M Smith, Examining Risk of Workplace Violence in Canada: A Sex/Gender-Based Analysis, Annals of Work Exposures and Health, Volume 62, Issue 8, October 2018, Pages 1012–1020.
Personally, I think it's fucking awesome having a penis. It is my fun gun. It fires hundreds of millions of rounds per second, but requires a significant reload time. Pretty damned cool, and half the planet was born with one.
Yeah, it's great to be a guy. Other guys might complain about pressure from feminazis or whatever. When there is legit discrimination, bring that shit up, if you feel truly trapped, discriminated against, and in danger of losing your livelihood, yell gun and throw that person out a window. Life doesn't have to be so complicated, we are only hurt by the paradigms we cater to in the first place.
It's great. Maybe being tall and male isn't especially advantageous for life span, but in matter of carrier, social status, sexuality... it's an advantage.
I didn't get served everything on a silver tray in my life. You can't win every time, but sinking in self-pity isn't a solution.
Being a man is great in terms of having more freedom and not being always ridiculed or judged constantly by others about how you dress or carry yourself, being pressured to bear children.. or being underestimated in general. Lotta pros to being a guy.
Guys get ridiculed for everything, judged definitely and underestimated is my middle name. Another very cool thing about being a guy is that my problems don't get taken seriously. I have severe depression, was ready to write suicide notes and all and no one gives a shit, my female cousin breaks up with her boyfriend of 4 months, well she gets the whole world handed to her on a platter. Being either gender is toxic, unless you're one of the "lucky" sheltered ones who never have to deal with any hardships. There's no real pros to being a guy, we're just expected not to talk about it. Very cool society, very cool.
Ye I think you've proven my point. I think you've proven it just fine. My problems haven't been and aren't going to be taken seriously, and you just proved that. Lmao I'm just saying that the misconceptions Ninjazzed has are just that, misconceptions. There's no advantage to being either gender over the other, it either all sucks or it's all fine. If you would have read more than two sentences, that would've been more than clear. And my life's fine thanks. I get enough excitement and fun as it is now. Got over the whole suicidal phase years ago, just left with the crippling depression, which is very cool. 👌
Both, It is amazing in the independence and cool-headedness you can achieve and are allowed. It's great being stronger and always being quicker to get an initiative happening, But it sucks in the whole 'women should enjoy sex and relationships on THEIR terms' expectation, whereas for men sex and relationships are somehow where they are considered plain old BAD (even if entirely untrue)
I think putting so much preassure ong he gender should change. It shouldn't matter as much that cause of your gender you have to fill some role. It should be more about the individual peraon n thwir personality.
I have enjoyed it so far yeah life can be shit but that's for everyone I have the chance to live a life I want and was not born into extream povaty or the east having bombs dropped on me so yeah it could always be worst
I am not a guy so I can't speak objectively. Personally, I think it is much easier than being a woman. I will not even start talking about expectations or violence, prejudices, etc. here. Just think about giving birth and that at least 60% of population thinks it is not such big a deal and that's"it's natural" therefore it is easy and not worth discussing. Curtains.
It's natural it's not easy and it's the biggest of deals. Men experience more violence.(murder, assault ) Prejudice? Well if you're a man , being around children will get you funny looks and possibly rumors, women are scared of you and if you want to have sex, you better get a video recording of the woman consenting to it or else...
Violence isn't equal. Men fight and kill each other way more than they do It to women. Also. Homelessness and suicides are majority men. And living up to the standards of manhood is no walk in the park either
Where did you get this information from? I think you can check sources that take into consideration data from all over the world. Update your data. Anyway, men rape more women. Or that's not considered to be violence?
True domestic violence and sexual assault is mostly against women. However, assault , homicide , theft, are majority male victims. Men kill each other more, we fight against each other and we steal from each other more. And as I said , homelessness is mostly men. I've never seen a homeless woman in my life BCS they have shelters. Women live longer and you are exempt from the worst and most dangey jobs society has to offer. So I don't know, seems to me that being a man isn't that great
It's pretty sweet and and easier than being a women i'd say. It sucks being a guy and having a family that rely on your sole support though. It's hard for insecure men though, there always whining about something.
Being a guy myself. Yes I would say it is great being a man.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I think being a man is great of you are lucky enough to be born in a first world country where providing for your family is within your control the majority of the time.
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