What makes men sad? My first crush committed suicide and years later so did my father. Why do men kill themselves?

[yogaflex]

As the title says, I have had 2 men kill themselves in my life but no women. Why is this guys? What makes so many men get to the point of suiciding?

Updates

+1 y

Thank you all for the replies already! Maybe I should have worded the question a little differently. My question was more to do with reasons that push men to that point, like is it pressure to be a certain way? Be tough? Fearless? Tall? Provide? Etc.

[SueShe]

It is society in general that makes people sick. The pressure that is applied onto us to outperform, to be more productive, to be always better than the others takes an immense toll on our quality of life.

Mainly in our Western culture, we are paying a very high price for outperforming others and the constant need to compete to be better. Humans took thousands of years of evolution to achieve the level we are now but the industry, politics and society expects changes to happen in a lifetime. We are just not compatible with the high expectations that are imposed on us because of the limitations of our physiology and mental capabilities.

Men are much more prone to be victims of that mental pressure and despite their tough outer shell, are less able to cope with the increased stress and that is when they see no other way out.

Some people would say it is a cowardly way to end a situation where people see no other way out. It is not cowardly, it is our society that is moving too fast and beyond what a number of humans are capable to cope with.

[yogaflex]

Wow, that is a really insightful observation and I totally agree, I even feel the pressure and my dad used to even say how much pressure he felt trying to provide as money became the most important part of everyone's lives... it is so sad

[SueShe]

I am sorry for your losses but what humans fail to realize is that they need to let go sometimes.

As Pierre de Coubertin, the founder of the new Olympic games was saying "l'essentiel n'est pas de gagner mais de participer" (It is more important to take part than to win).

And if you don't win each time, you gain more respect because you are more human...

[SueShe]

Thanks for the MHO. Hope you are doing well :-)

[fadingmind]

Why does anyone kill themselves? Depression, they think it’s the only way out, everything seems pointless, feeling of worthlessness,...

[Haynbaby808]

Why are selfish and feel like they have the right to judge anyone. Keep throwing stones, like you think you're ruler creation. 18002738255 call it will help you release your own suppressed feelings if you're a veteran like me dial 1

[Anonymous]

Statistically speaking, women attempt suicide more often than men do, but men typically use more lethal means, causing them to succeed at suicide more often than women. People attempt suicide for many different reasons. Sometimes it's due to living with past trauma, as is the case with people like the lead singer for the band Linkin Park who was molested as a child. Sometimes it's a lack of a support system, like an old man whose wife has died and now has no one left in his life that he's close to. Some suffer from an untreated mental disorder that makes life simply miserable. There are countless reasons why people resort to suicide.

[yogaflex]

It is so sad.

But why do men choose more lethal means and go ahead with it? I know many more men who speak of suicide in private but my depressed female friends never mention suicide. Why do men seem to think of suicide so frequently as well?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think men think of suicide any more than women. Based on the number of attempts at suicide, it would indicate that men actually think of suicide less than women. I don't know why men tend to go a more lethal route. A man is more likely to commit suicide using a gun, but a woman is more likely to commit suicide by overdosing. Why that difference exists, I have no idea. Perhaps women care more about how they look, even after they're dead? During my short time working as a psychologist, it was my experience that women either spoke of suicidal thoughts or had a history of attempted suicide more so than the men. But it's likely that men were simply less likely to seek help in the first place. In either case, it is a very sad situation.

What I always encourage, for both men and women, is to establish a healthy support structure. Speak openly and honestly to your family and closest friends. We all have struggles and to admit that is not a sign of weakness. It's just part of being human. And in families, I strongly urge you to listen without judgement or interruption, as hard as that can be. Learn the signs and pay attention.

[JackSmy]

@yogaflex I wish I could give you an answer, but for me, that is NEVER an option! I follow a Way, and that Way insists that suicide is just, well, with respect to the ones you lost. . .
They must have had some serious issues, that nobody noticed? Most men don't just do that, without some signs!!
Sadly, so many have no idea what those signs are, and it is NEVER, EVER, your fault that they did that!! OK? YOU NEED TO BELIEVE THAT, OK? It was NOT YOUR FAULT!!

[Haynbaby808]

My ex has done the same. He had a passive aggressive mom (which he had those tendencies) he grew up from a different place, it depends on the nurture/man balance from his childhood. So he grew up with the mentality of Masculinity" basically they should only show agression and anger. It's "macho" it's a horrible mindset to establish in a boy who wants to be held by his mom, and taught by his dad. My ex didn't get that. He was an army veteran which didn't help. I see it all the time sadly. So all these guys tend to disrespect woman disregard humanity. Because they hurt and showing emotions are weak. If you show too many at once, this type of personality can't handle it because they aren't used to it. Guys have it prettty rough childhood/adolescence.

[Haynbaby808]

Guy's are told to be manly and tough or see that as being a man. Also with this is sexual dominance over there partner. They believe sex is what makes them a man.
It's only up to them to seek help, but it's not the way of menfolk to get help for their mental illness. I hate it for you. I send you loving kindness.

[Haynbaby808]

My ex and I were great for the 1st year. Then he started to feel love for the first time in 35 years. He didn't like the fact that he felt so much.
His ptsd kicks one night, invisible people in the house (this went on for 3 months) im fucking them and never loved him. He felt emasculated. He grabbed the machete and the hunting knives and told me I could have them. The last words he said were "I'm sorry man I didn't mean to hit you" it hurts but I know it wasn't him talking, he couldn't figure out how to handle it. Most guys are logical analytical thinkers. I hope that this helps you to watch for signs, if it happens, I give everyone of my kids the crisis hotline # and my own personal cell. If you need anything else feel free you're a strong woman and the strong foundation. ❤

[Haynbaby808]

18002738255 veterans dial 1. Please reach out anonymity is just a call away to save a life

[yogaflex]

This is very sad, thank you for sharing. It does seem to be that pressure to be "manly" all of the time that keeps coming up and my dad used to say the same and so did the boy that I knew. It is so heartbreaking to think that someone feels as if they should be manly just because of the sex that they were born and then end up ending their life because they don't feel like they can fit that mould

[Haynbaby808]

I know and some run deep that they can't find their way out. But you've been through this so maybe this is a gateway for you to reach out and help people too. You're an intelligent woman and this sounds like it weighs heavily on your heart. I mean I'm still in psychology (still awhile. 5 school then 5 as a resident) but being a veteran I have perks of being a TA. Maybe this is a calling for you. The conviction to help guys who are suffering. The crisis hotline is a good start. Or mine is starting at the root, children! They are more open to receive and learn and grow. Im praying for you!! May God send his Angel's to comfort you and relieve some of the weight of your pain.❤

[reptocarl2]

In a word depression. It’s the number one cause of suicide. It is no joke and nothing anyone can just snap out of. It can only be treated professionally.

[yogaflex]

What makes men so willing to do it though? The amount more men that carry out suicide is staggering

[reptocarl2]

Men are less likely to seek help for it because a man with depression is seen as weak

[yogaflex]

That is sad... why is it weak it be unhappy? What a silly thought process :/

[reptocarl2]

It’s how men are perceived or how men think of themselves

[Paul09]

A lot has to do with mental issues. Some is hard, or can not be controlled. And the pressure of society tells them they have to be this way. Sometimes it could be just not fitting in, and feels like the whole world is against you. No one wants to help. And even if you seek help like a physcolgist, it gets expensive, and may not even help at all.

[7771999]

Men have a way higher suicide rate. Because they experience equal amounts of shit (if not more), but no one cares. They keep it inside themselves and it eats them up.



I'm very sorry for your loss

[Haynbaby808]

We care but in all retrospect would you admit to something that "a man" would never do? I listen to so many of my clients that will not admit to having problems, but it takes time for a lot of people to admit that they need help. Most don't want it. And therapist can tell when a client is just saying their fine but they aren't.

[Haynbaby808]

18002738255 please call you can remain anonymous. Veterans dial 1

[Numbnuts89]

same reason women do

life sucks... and then you die

and thats just the optimist speaking

[yogaflex]

Why does it suck? What is something Male specific that would make you resort to suicide? Because I don't know any women that have mentioned suicide but I get men talking about it so much?

[Numbnuts89]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Female_suicides

[Numbnuts89]

again, same reasons as women. life sucks, and then you die

[Slim57]

Because of the pressure of life pulling us in so many different ways with no support and being seen as weak, or like me I've actually sought out help but no-one or anything has been able to help

[In_Trance]

That's a very broad question with infinite possible answers. It depends on the person

[hwvzhssb]

the real reson for tension never kill herself u stupid

[Anonymous]

I think about "offing"my self at least 2x a day.

[coffeewithcream]

No idea.