I'm just speaking for myself, but I'm not really into making friends. Lol. Men or women. I'm really a loner, and I value my peace. When I was younger and I did make female friends, it wasn't because I wanted to sleep with them.
The friendships would blossom normally... whether it was at work and we were just talking or if it was at a bookstore and we were casually talking about books or if I was in gym class (I do yoga) and I met someone in the class and we started casually talking. With me, there is never an underlying motive. And, to be quite honest, in my adult life, I never had very many female friends for this to happen.
However, I don't think there is anything wrong with sleeping with a friend or wanting to have sex with a friend. A lot of people make sex or thinking about sex so taboo and it's ridiculous. I see a lot of women on social media say things like:
"It's fucked up how men are willing to fuck a complete stranger without even knowing a damn thing about them."
on the flipside I also hear women say:
"It's fucked up how men become your friends and think it's okay to want to have sex with you."
If you are a man and you approach a stranger, a woman you meet at a club for example, and try to to get laid... that's fucked up to a lot of women.
If you are a man and you are friends with a woman and you decide down the road that you want to have casual sex with her... that's fucked up to a lot of women.
So, what is a man supposed to do? Lol. I don't think it's cool to become friends with a woman JUST to fuck her. However, if you have been friends for a WHILE and you both aren't dating anyone and you both aren't having sex with anyone... I don't see anything wrong with seeing if friend's with benefits is on the table. Sex and wanting sex is natural, afterall.
I won't answer your poll as it's too biased with a yes or no answer. The reality is more complicated than that.
As far as my written answer goes, I've done it a couple of times and here is why:
Situation 1: we developed feelings for each other.
Situation 2: we were both single and got tired of the dating game, but she had needs and persuaded me to "help" her because she said she trusted me. She actually had to persuade me because I was uncomfortable with the idea at first.
Situation 3: We were both drunk and talking, making dirty jokes, and just having a fun time. Next thing I know she was on my lap talking about "what ifs," then it just sort of escelated. She and I are still friends but never did that again.
All in all sex is only as powerful and meaningful as you choose to make it. To me it's not just a show of affection, it's also a sign of trust that you're willing to trust your partner (or partner for that instance) and entrust yourself to them. Everybody likes sex, and I don't make friends with women because I want to have sex with them, I befriend who I think I can trust and that they are worth my time and won't abandon or treat me like crap.
I wholeheartedly agree! Let's see who's actually genuine or lying. To those who genuinely say no, especially when you wouldn't do it without stable commitment, I think I can speak for every woman born on this planet: We love You! The rest of you better seriously think about having female friends or just dating or sleeping with any woman.
In fact, a fancy girl is always interesting, to get engaged into a relationship is another level than casual sex. I will refuse to get engaged into some fancy girls that have a family or whole social groul problem, that I have experienced on their side. Love is not only private one to one.
The results are a reflection of how evolutionary psychology works, it's been hammered in. It's upside from the male prespective to have as many partners as possible while it's a downside for females. Although I am not sure I agree with the path they are going beware yourself on criticising others for their evolutionary tendencies for you are all the same.
Evolution have nothing to do with your choices. If one wants to be a manwhore, let him. Don't like guys like that and will never have them as friends. Ever.
The human being and I know better not to be doing stuff like that. The only thing that you need to be aware of is the Lord that you're going to have to answer to. Plenty of decent men out there that don't think like an animal.
@cush_ebo Yeah I agree, it's a complete turn off when a girl's social group is toxic. It's what is causing her to feel so bad that she'd sleep with a friend and probably anyone else.
If we are your friend and dig deep into your social circle we know your dirt and all your problems 😂 great dynamic for a relationship. Girls prefer to keep their men close where they can see them and not where their best friends are who'll dig out all the dirt.
Evolutionary psychology means it has something to do with your phsycology and behaviour, by definition. It is great to be able to look past those but I would guess it's more probable that you would like/prefer a more facially attractive partner who is fit than one who is not, like I said beware yourself for you are all the same. This conversation is over.
What the he'll is wrong with you men? I am not the same as you people. You all need some serious help if you all think it is acceptable to sleep with anyone but your spouse. shouldn't have replied at all if you do not like the truth.
I care about stability, morally, righteousness and loving life right. Not who is attractive physically or not. The soul needs to be attractive. Not looks.
Your supposed to screen good partners from bad ones. Date somebody who your capable with and share an increase chance of creating a stable family. Stop worrying about what other girls do like I don't care about what other guys do. If you cannot learn to love a person with all those things, you shouldn't be in a relationship at all. Because relationships are not meant to be perfect. Stop assuming everybody the same. And stop assuming everybody has the same type of relationship and friendship dynamic because they don't. I don't have toxic baggage and neither do any of my friends. I live a godly lifestyle. Adios.
Have you even read what I said? I've been crushed by a girl's social group for corrupting the whole operation. And then the best friend said don't you trust your girl. Friendship is only romantic if you keep your boundaries at all times and dont slip into a friend ship that means actual friend where you fall into a trap.
Wow, if that is how you think of people, stay by yourself. No friends, no spouse, girlfriend, etc. Friendships are not that and neither is romance where the hell you getting all that crap from? Sounds like you've been around toxic people because you're toxic yourself. If you don't like worldly standards, then you need to be living by God's standards. Because people who live with God standards don't behave that way. First of all, you don't get into any group where you don't fit in, and you don't have connections with. You don't don't fit in, and you don't have connections with. You don't befriend anybody who doesn't share your values, your standards, or believe in things similarly. If you have that kind of stuff going on that means that you're involved with people for the wrong kind of reasons. And that's a lesson only you can learn.
We aren't bitter, weve experienced the attitude of a bad social circle. I knew a girl for 5yrs and her social group slowly but surely made her feel shitty which impacted on me and her. It's a bitter end. It's best to date a girl, keep away from the friends and circle.
No matter if it's your family, your parents, your friends, your peers, your teachers, your acquaintances, your neighbors, those within your community, your children, whoever it is that you need. Every single human being have some type of issue, have some type of floor, have some type of problem. Not everybody is going to think, act, believe, behave, and do things that you do. That's life. And if you haven't learned it yet, you better start learning it now. They say you are who you attract for a reason and that includes anybody that you are involved with. If you don't like certain things then you need to open up your mouth and stay away from certain people that don't share those values. It's common sense.
That is being very bitter because you're involved with people that you should not be involved with. No it's not best to date somebody because we don't owe you anything and you don't owe us anything. Because now you're being selfish and you only care about yourself. That's what people like you are forever single because you don't care about other people but yourself. A relationship is about the other person is not about you. So if she needs her friends and you don't want to be involved with that. And stay away from. Live by yourself and stay by yourself. Who are you to try to control other people's lives? Be with somebody who also like being alone and don't want to be involved with anyone either. You just going to use each other for sex anyway. And then when you both start messing around other people have a problem, then you want to get mad at each other. That's how flawed your reasoning is. And you want to know why you have unsuccessful relationships with people. How you live your life is a good indicator why nobody wants to be around you. And you lack the self-awareness even realize that.
Girls need to take responsibility for their decisions. Asking for a equality and a variety in their life, is a recipe for toxicity. You just drive us away. We ask for a simple life not a complex I don't care have a giggle life and complain to our man life. Keep it real 😁
Every human being needs to take responsibility for their decisions. You act like most of us don't ask for a simple life also. Stop treating us all the same and we wouldn't treat you all the same. We're not even paying attention to guys like you. You too busy whining like women.
And the worst mistakes that you're making is thinking we all asked for feminism. God made us equal as human beings. And to be honest it's you men who want Variety in your life. Because of you knew the things of the Lord, and follow God's laws, you wouldn't be having women that use to sleep around. You wanted to sleep around, so there you go. Godly women and women like me knows better not to open up our lives. And I'm still a virgin. Says a lot about people like you.
We understand a womans brain is so much bigger than ours that she has to occupy it with complex problems every day and also those of her past to maintain her braincells. But if she thought of the consequence this will have on everyone around her she'd realise she's toxic. But you're accusing us of being toxic and being around toxic people. We men are attracted to women, we have no choice over this. I respect that women are a lot of the time driven by their hormones and so everything is emotionally influenced. But where's the stop button? Men die before women because it. A few emotionally intelligent girls have more male friends than girl but these are hard to come by.
This is how I know you will most certainly are a hypocrite. The fact that you speak about women this way show that you really do need to stay single. No you don't respect us, because everything you're writing show you lack respect. And yes you can control, and have a choice. Is what you choose to do with that attraction and you use it which toxicity. I don't care if you're a virgin or not, you people refers to anybody who has that mentality it doesn't matter what your sexual status is. If your mentality is lower than a dog, then your mentality is lower than the dog. You don't always have to be a non-virgin to have that mentality. You don't have to sleep with a person physically but you could be sleeping with women in your mind by pornography and masturbation. That's still spiritual fornication. No doubt about that.
Stop thinking all of us are hormone and emotionally influence. Because we're not. That is extremely disrespectful. There are plenty of you men to act just as homeowner in the mostly driven yourselves. Don't talk about emotional intelligence because of you even know about emotional intelligence you wouldn't be speaking to kind of things you're speaking. Emotional intelligence has nothing to do with the amount of friends you have. It has to do with personal connections. And you're not always going to connect with everybody. Just like you can have so-called friends around, they still not really your friends. Learned that the hard way.
You speak out of ignorance and lacking wisdom. It is utterly ashame what this generation has become today. Our own ancestors would be really embarrassed.
There's a saying actions speak louder than words. What I see is a lot of talking and not a lot of actions. So now in society there are vicious monsters called Karen who talks but sits on her fat ass. I do know emotional intelligence, and it definitely isn't opening your mouth and throwing others under the bus. You're very good at doing that 👍 I do care about myself more than others but in life it's good to be selfish or else I'll just be used. Also I have to be strong enough to deal with the next woman I meet whose self esteem has been damaged and is unable to trust men for a long time. We respect what have but not if it changes like a complex maths problem ❌
I don't have anything to prove to you. And I do pruvit my actions and not with my words. I don't go around putting people under the bus. You choose to be underneath the bus is not my fault you choose to put yourself there. No it's not good to be selfish. Because of you were even remotely intelligent you would even know better to pick and choose your company wisely. A lesson obviously you haven't learned yet. No you have to be strong enough for yourself and like I said stay single. Because you behaving that way shows that you would not be able to love a woman like that. Because the woman you want to talk about is myself and I don't even want someone like you.
Because if you knew so much about me you and yo I'm a quiet person that doesn't give ear to such foolishness. Just because I'm a quiet person that doesn't mean I don't have to open up my mouth and say what needs to be said. So you better watch your mouth, you better watch what you saying, you better watch what you do. Because everything that you're saying shows that you're not an attractive person to really be around. I have great friendships and relationships with people whom I love dearly and have been together for nearly 2 decades. I value people and don't choose to be selfish. I choose to be loving and understanding. But that doesn't mean I have to tolerate everyone's BS. And that's exactly what your speaking. BS. Don't ask for what you can't handle that's my fair wanting to you.
I don't hang around people who behave and act nasty, talk bad about others gossip, do immoral things, party, go to bars and clubs, smoke, do drugs, drink, curse like they have no filter, etc. I always examine who I interact with. I can be civil with you, but doesn't mean I call everyone my friend, nor not everyone will get close to me or be in my life. Because of you have to be selfish in order to avoid getting used, that means you lack boundaries and it's nobody else's fault but your own.
I'm no Karin, man. I don't have a fat ass, and I don't just sit I my ass. I get up and, so something. Now get off my feed. Wouldn't be surprise you do though.
It's not an opiniom but a fact! No chick in her right mind sleeps with a friend. Why do you think many reject you if they don't see compatibility or want to date You? Because you'll ruin their chances with other men they are attracted to. And why you hate being in the so called friendzone.
I know better to get married and then have sex with my husband. A guy who basically sees you as somebody to sleep with is not a friend. But somebody who wants sex with whoever they trust. If you have no desire to be a friend, don't be one. Says a lot you know nothing about women. The girls who do sleep with friends are either cheaters, lack morals and or boundaries, and then often blame you for a breakdown of their relationships when they're the ones that chose open up their legs.
But that's you personally. That's not a reason why it's "unfortunate" generally.
Now, if you don't think it's "unfortunate" in the wider context outside of yourself, then fine. It means I misread. But I'd like to know which one of those is true.
@AllThatSweetJazz if girls found out you sleep with your friends, game over for you. What's to say you won't sleep with your friends when youve got a girlfriend. Cheaters dont know whats right from wrong.
I know girls react that way. What I’m getting at is that there isn’t really an external reasoning provided. The entire reasoning is “I don’t like it”.
“What’s to say you won’t sleep with your friends when you’ve got a girlfriend” Obviously it’s the same reason I don’t sleep with strangers, acquaintances, bosses or employees, etc, when I have a girlfriend. Silly question, dude. That’s exactly the kind of nonsense reasoning I’m talking about.
I can accept they just don’t like it and won’t budge for no good reason. That’s fine. That’s life.
But spare me the ridiculous rationalizations, just own it.
@AllThatSweetJazz no one owes you an explanation dude. You have to take opinions on board be it small or big. I think you get frustrated with small responses, but those small responses are as powerful as the long ones. Karens tend to write long ones, over-think, and turn into the assholes they are. Dont judge those who learnt to keep things simple lol
Eh, I don’t think the length matters as long as they can lord over you. It’s about bringing you under-thumb. This is the point of speaking to the manager, they complain to the highest authority available and demand capitulation, which brings all the subordinates in line as well.
I make friends with women I like, and it is not because I want to sleep with them. Most of my female friends are married, or in a relationship with a guy, or another woman. They are just friends, and it isn't sexual. As far as 'sleeping' with them, yes, with some, but just SLEEPING, and not sex!! Just things that happened, and storms and such, and they trust me, and I trust them, and it wasn't anything! Sometimes, when some break up with their boyfriends, and call me, they get to a point when they want to hug, and be close, and sometimes a few have wanted more, because they are just in that 'place' and need someone. Better just to maintain the friendship, and hold, but not go too far in vulnerable moments!
I am not a fan of Friends With Benefits because ultimately emotions always get involved. However, I am not against the occasional instance of it as long as it's not a regular thing. So, if I was young, single, and good looking again, I would definitely consider sleeping with a female friend. But that means sleeping, cuddling, maybe kissing. Fucking is something else. I might do that too. I know if I kept it up, emotions would get involved and either we'd become a couple or one of us would get heartbroken. So, I treat the whole this with a leery eye.
No, I wouldn't, for various different reasons. The primary reason being that my female friends and acquaintances are all women who I'm, specifically, not at all attracted to.
I wouldn't be friends with someone I fancy. I would either pursue them, or cut contact with them if pursuing them wouldn't be possible.
If I'm being honest, I feel a lot of girls are that way too.
I would sleep with some of my female friends, it really just depends on how friendship is with a particular girl. I have friendships where we're both flirty with each other and others where I've had the girl try to flirt with me only to be shot down immediately because they either have a boyfriend or husband.
I always found that friends girlfriends made the best female friends because usually there was no interest there from either of us. Apart from one who I'd hang out with regularly but whenever I'd talk to a random girl in a bar or whatever she'd have a fit about it (thus the usually)
No, I'm not romantically or sexually interested in any of the female friends I have at the moment. However, if there were a girl that I wanted a relationship with, I would likely befriend her first. That said, I'd try to make it fairly obvious that I liked her, without being too overt, so she wouldn't be completely blindsided if I asked her out in the future after getting to know her better as a friend. That just hasn't happened yet, though.
Firstly, if there's tension in our first interaction that won't go a away then I have a hard time seeing you as a friend unfortunately.
Depends on how Good of a friend she is and how open she is to talk about things in the open. If she is a really Good friend I won't risk losing her as a friend. But if we talk about it I could be down to explore.
I don't know, it's a judgement on a case by case basis. Do I want it to become more then friends?, do I care enough if this ruins the friendship if I don't want a relationship? . Is I even attracted to her? It also depends on how it happens/presented.
No such thing as platonic female friends for men. Maybe women can have platonic male friends, but not men.
As for me, if I had a female friend it’s because I want to get with her and I’m keeping her close and in touch with her when the moment presents itself. Maybe she’s busy with school at the moment or maybe she’s thinking of her feelings about me.
I personally have a rule that I would never sleep with a woman closer than a friend of a friend of a friend. It is too messy, and I don't want to ruin any pre-existing relationships. I would not sleep with a friend in normal conditions, at least not one on one. If it was a threesome or the like I wouldn't mind.
I'm not this asshole, really, but if they want to sleep with me, and our boundaries and rules have been discussed before hand, I'm probably not going to say no. It can definitely be detrimental at times, but not if everyone is being an adult about it. Besides, what's not to love about good sex?
I have just one female friend that I actually will/and have spent time with. We kind of toyed with the idea of hooking up. I kissed her once, and it got a little weird, but I think it was mutual that we would rather not. We're still friends, but she's in a relationship now.
I say no because I don't become friends with a chick just to fuck her. I shouldn't have to. They the understanding that if we aren't fucking yet we will. Now I do have one best female friend and we have a legit friendship. However, we have also said we'd fuck. We haven't though yet and that's not the core of our relationship.
Would I sleep with a female friend - yes, if she wanted that too. Is that the only or even the primary reason to become friend with a woman - definitely no. I have several woman friends who that's exactly what they are - friends. We have excellent friendships and want things to stay that way. I respect them for who they are and am reasonably sure they feel the same about me. There is absolutely zero interest for either of us in trying to have a romantic side to things. There are others with whom there has been mutual interest; with them something else is possible. The tricky part is not damaging or losing the friendship in creating something else. So would I be willing to add that dimension to a friendship, yes I would but it's rarely even considered until well after a friendship is established and then only if it's something that she wants too.
I would. But only if it was because both of us agrees and we both felt that it was comfortable for us mentally and we thought that there wouldn't be significant downsides to doing it. And it would only be if I keep she didn't sleep around and was careful with who she slept with.
The only other reason I'd have sex with a female friend is if we planned to take care of another and be partners for the rest of our lives.
No, but just because there are almost always at least one of 3 reasons why they're just friends:
1) I'm not physically attracted to them (doesn't mean they aren't fun to be around)
2) Even if 1 is not true, there is something about them mentally that would keep me from wanting to get intimate. Brings to mind one in particular who is attractive but I picture her keeping an ice pick under the bed...
No! I would not sleep with any of my female friends and i have many. Plus! Am married and happy in my relationship, i will not destroy something beautiful that i and my partner put so much time and effort to reach the place we are in and we both love it.
Well apparently genuine friendships always have some sort of attraction despite it being male or female friends. I guess it depends on the situation, if I fancied the girl and I didn't want to step on her relationship I would just be friends and try keeping it that way. Otherwise I wouldn't try to sleep with my female friends, what would be the point?
It depends. Are we close friends that we grew up together and parents know each other? Or did we meet in the perfect time in life where we needed each other and helped one another get through it?
If first scenario is iffy but I would still do it. All my female friends except 1 She is someone I see as a friend. But if we grew up together and I'm drunk and she's down than yea. But sober I honestly don't know. Most likely yea though
The results are a reflection of how evolutionary psychology works, it's been hammered in. It's upside from the male prespective to have as many partners as possible while it's a downside for females. Although I am not sure I agree with the path they are going beware yourself on criticising others for their evolutionary tendencies for you are all the same.
"I feel like lots of guys only make friends with woman or keep friends with women they fancy" Yea, why wouldn't they? If they're not settled down already then they're going to want to have attractive women around to try and partner up with. It's seriously the most utterly mundane thing.
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