How do I tell him I got a nose job?

[Anonymous]

I've just met the man of my dreams and things are getting serious. But I'm haunted by a secret: I had a nose job when I was 19 (years ago) and while it didn't dramatically change my appearance, I always regretted getting it, since it changed my own face, even in a small way. So now, I want to come clean with him, to tell him that the face he fell in love with has a past, and is not entirely the face that he knows today.

How, as a guy, might react if a woman you were beginning to fall in love with made this confession?

[motorboater]

If you've already lied and told him that you've had NO surgery, then it would be bittersweet when you come clean. Because you've proven yourself dishonest and deceptive to him, but also proven yourself driven by conscience and someone who cares about being straightforward (eventually). So if you emphasize the importance of building a relationship on honesty and trust and how you regret your lie and you fully intend it to be the last and only lie between the two of you (and mean it) then most likely he'll be touched and encouraged to get closer to you because you are much more accountable and truthful than most people, including him most likely. Guys (and everyone else) WANT this level of trustworthiness in the partner they are with, regardless of whether or not they can and do reciprocate.

If you've never lied about it, you don't HAVE to tell him. It's your business. If you choose not to tell him, expect him to find out sooner or later, then you're in the boat of "it's private; I don't tell you everything. Deal with it" and if that's the nature of the relationship you want to have, then you've done the right thing for you to keep it private.

But if you want all your cards on the table instead, then simply come clean soon; don't wait and increase the secrecy time frame. And don't come clean apologetically nor confrontational; just say "I have something private to tell you. I had plastic surgery when I was 19 on my nose. How do you feel about that? " If he's upset, then he's not the right guy for you anyways, because he can't handle nose jobs while you are the type to actually get a nose job. But MOST guys won't care, and the most he'll want to know is a) what did it used to look like? (curiosity) and b) do you want to get anything else done?

[lovebird01]

Unless it comes up in a conversation somehow, why even say anything about it? You yourself said it didn't dramatically change your appearance, so why bring it up? Let it be for now. I assure you, if he falls in love with you, it won't make a bit of difference in your relationship. Unless he is an extremely shallow person!

[Stanley]

I agree. You can tell him if you want or not tell him. This isn't the kind of secret that would make me upset, regardless of whether I was told early on or 10 years after we married.

[witchy-1]

Everyone comes with a past attached. The thing is, this guy has fallen in love with who you are now - nose and all - not who you were. I doubt it will be an issue.

Don't feel bad for thing you did before you met - he loves you as you are. What you were before doesn't matter.

[kateem]

I don't think it'd b a big deal. He will know you've had a past and you've done things... having plastic surgery wouldn't make a difference. If he even contemplated dumping you over it or getting angry, he's a fool and is making a big deal out of something small.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't seem like that big of a deal but it shouldn't change anything because he'll love you for you are not for who you were.

[staycee07]

If this man is serious about you he won't care no matter what it is!

[trystansmama]

Well he will love you no matter what right? So just tell him in a good way.