HELP! Can a guy date and want something serious with a girl, and fuck another girl in the meantime?

[Anonymous]

My fuckbuddy (guy, 25) of 1 year sort of ended it with me a month ago saying he's started seeing someone seriously. Then 10 days later he hits me up again for a couple of days until I agree to see him again. I ask him if things died out with that other girl, or if he's just being player right now, and he said "yeah, it kinda died out". (I have stalked her on instagram, and it seems like it died out yes.. she deleted the highlights/stories she posted of him).

We fuck 2 times during the next 2-3 weeks.
Yesterday he hit me up again and asked if I could come over at 9, which is where he gets home. I said yes, and at 8:50 he texted me again, saying that he was too tired anyway (he does that sometimes, which is soo annoying).
Today I, for some weird reason, check this girls instagram, and she has posted a story of him again just an hour ago? Apparently they're on a double date with her friend and her friends' boyfriend..

Quite fucked up right? He has always seen other people (for sex) and our agreement is that we can do whatever, but this is so disrespectful to both me and that girl right?

Like is it possible to both be somewhat in love AND fuck somebody else at the same time? Or is he just fucking with her as well?

Updates

+1 y

He texted me if i wanted to come over later today, but I was a pussy and replied "Got work"

Updates

+1 y

Lolthey deleted each other on insta

[NarutoUzumaki007]

if he really loves you he wouldn't need someone else.

Sex with a person you love is far better than a stranger who's body is good and hot. So if he is not satisfied with the sex he gets from you and claims to "love" you , trust me he doesn't love you

[Asker]

I think you've misunderstood. We're only fuckbuddies, so obviously it's not a romantic thing between us, but I'm very comsumed by ethics and moral, so lies and manupulation and stuff makes me so angry haha

[Asker]

However I guess this goes for the other girl, and I agree

[NarutoUzumaki007]

I meant the girl he claims he is dating and in love , I don't think he loves her. She is also a fuckbuddy and you are right he is cheating in a way that poor girl doesn't even know what he is doing with you behind her back. Even if she is also a fuckbuddy , he should tell her about you

[Asker]

Right! Thank you for confirming my thoughts!
Would you agree that the best thing here would be if I just break it off with him the next time he tries to hit me up? I won't mention that I know about the girl, but I could just say that I'm sick of him cancelling all the time

I feel so bad for that girl though - I would be HEARTbroken, if I was in love with someone who just fucked a younger girl behind her back..

[spartan55]

You sure do a bunch of stalking for being just fuck buddy. So predictable.

[Asker]

It sort of goes with my personality lol
Also it was really easy to find haha

[spartan55]

I am predicting you are going to end up getting hurt, and I don't say that with any sort of satisfaction.

[Asker]

Not if I end it with him first - then my ego is "safe" haha

[SphynxUK]

He’s having his cake and eating it.
You’re allowing this.

[Asker]

Well I only just found out today.. But I'm certainly ending it with him - but I can't really tell him that I know though

[SphynxUK]

Good for you!

[Meatunnel69]

Fuck around, get fucked
#monagomyornothing

Do it

[Asker]

Well in this case, the girl who wants monagomy is getting cheated on here...
My question - do you think this guy is searching for monagomy in this case? Cause then I will for sure leave him alone

[blutwolfe]

Nah that's kinda fucked up that's basically doing some player shit

[Asker]

Yeah right? Don't know how to make him tell me though..

[blutwolfe]

Well I bet she doesn't know about you, and they're struggling to make things work, I bet it's about sex. That's why you're in the picture now, I don't think love was his priority or else he wouldn't need two girls

[blutwolfe]

oh ya and he's never gonna admit it like that

[Asker]

Yeah she for sure doesn't know about me.. I feel bad lol
And the last time I saw him he dID mention something like "oh I missed this" when we were doing something sexual, that she obviously had not let him do... But if he really wants something serious with her, surely the "love" would overpower his sexual desires, right?

[blutwolfe]

Well exactly, but his sexual desires is what drives him and not everyone is even capable of loving on that level to begin with

The whole serious relationship thing might be just a ploy to make you feel jealous or for you to want him more, it's a possibility.

If you really wanted to be a dick, you could message her and ask her to set something up where you both dump his ass at the same time lmao but I'm just mean

[Asker]

Yeah that's true! From the start I only agreed to become his fuckbuddy because he seemed like the type that was uncapable of actually loving someone for more than their sexual benefits, and therefore he could never hurt me..
So now this dating thing he has going on, is making me sooo confused, because I never saw him as the type for that haha

However it's definitely not to make me jealous, because he's clearly trying to hide it. She posts stories of him, but he has never posted anything about her, and acts like she doesn't exist.

For sure I have thought about sending her an anonymous text or something, buut that would make me look insane haha

He texted me today to ask if I would come over today though (just one day after their date?).. Didn't know what to do, so I just replied that I have work today

[blutwolfe]

Must've not gotten laid lmao, what would you think he would do if you said you were seeing someone lol

[Asker]

Oooh that would be really interesting to see haha! He used to always say stuff like "ahh you're just out fucking someone else" if I said "not today" when he hit me up lol

I should find someone hahah - however I'm really picky, and I suck at lying lol

[Thatsamazing]

Uh... you mean is normal human male behavior, normal? Yes.

[Asker]

Lol
You're honest though :'))

So what do you think is really going on? Does he like that girl for real, and then should I say no to him next time he asks me to come over, so that I can leave those two alone?

[Thatsamazing]

You do whatever you want to do that will please you and make you happy, as long as it's not hurting anyone else. Don't overthink it.

[Asker]

But my worry is that that girl doesn't know (she obviously doesn't) and that she gets hurt - I feel like I'm doing something wrong by seeing him now that I know lol

[Thatsamazing]

Her concerns are hers. Your concerns are yours. His concerns are his.

[RHK36]

He's a jackass. Straight up using both of you and lying about it.

[Asker]

Well I sort of signed up to being used (mutually using each other), but she's for sure being used, unless he really cares about her.. I have a hard time imagine how you can care for someone and fuck some else though lol

[RHK36]

Yet he still feels the need to lie to you about it. So he's using you in a different manner, that's what I was implying.

[Asker]

Oh right, that's true!

[Anonymous]

he doesn’t respect any of y'all

[Asker]

That's a good point - he for sure doesn't..

[Gedaria]

Oh yes , that's nothing new...

[Asker]

But do you think he really wants to make her his girlfriend, or can I relax haha

[Gedaria]

Usually all he is interested in is her body and what he can get out of it. That's why he goes for multiple girls.

[Asker]

However he usually sees a couple of other girls on the side, but he doesn't date them in public like he's dating her.. So I'm confused.

[Gedaria]

That is what I'm saying he could well have a steady relationship with a girl a but his need for sex , calls for other girls he uses just for sex...

[Asker]

Aah I see.. Fucked up, right?
But what's the point in having the "girlfriend" then?

[Gedaria]

Stability. Not sure is people like this tick.

[In_Trance]

happens all the time

[Asker]

But do you think he really wants to make her his girlfriend, or can I relax haha

[In_Trance]

I can't say for sure but he most likely just wants to smash

[Asker]

Yeah I guess.. He still hasn't admitted this to me, do you have any suggestions to what I can say to him, to make him admit that he's dating someone seriously?