Is my boyfriend just losing interest or being sneaky behind my back?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes he'll be fine and text me a lot and have a lot to say. Recently he dry texts or doesn't say much in text nor when on the phone but says he wants to talk on the phone even if we don't say anything. So we got into an argument last night because he felt like I was taking sides.

He mentioned how I was getting distant the last few days but honestly I felt like that was him. He's done it before and claimed he was depressed so I assumed he was going behind my back probably messaging another girl. I don't know if he said it to pin it on me and make me think I was the issue or what.

He checked his phone "out of my sight" yesterday then came into the dining room after he put it into his pocket. He acts like he's waiting for someone to text back at times and I don't think it's just his friends he's waiting on a text back from.

He doesn't get out much from my knowledge, he plays video games most of the day. Like after I spent the night one night, he spent a few days straight playing the game, even claimed he was texting instead of calling me one day, because he was focused on the game. Wouldn't it be easier to talk and focus than text though? From my experience it is.

Yet he has time to go on Facebook to watch people's stories and message people or whatever it is he's doing.

[MatchaCustard]

I’m wondering how long have you guys been together?


Have a calm, loving and an open conversation with him at a good time. I would ask him if he’s missing anything from the relationship. I would also tell him what I’m missing and what are the things I need. I would definitely address that I'm missing attention. I would also address his suspicious texting. But be careful here. If there are no evidence, You can’t accuse him. All you can is addressing your feelings and nicely ask him to comfort you with the truth. If he’s a person you love/respect/value. Trust him, and show him that you trust him. Of course, if you do have clear evidence, you can confront him and lay down your boundaries.


My boyfriend (4 years) Loves video games and we used to have so many arguments about that. But then we were settled that he needs to spend time with me at certain things that I want him to. E. g., making dinner together/A few hours of weekend outings/ A few hours of weekend chilling at his place To watch a movie or whatever) The rest of the time, I agreed that he can do whatever he loves to do. To think about it, it’s his hobby anyways. When I accepted the fact that video games is something that he loves to do, I felt that I also need to be doing something that I live to do. Reading, workouts, movies, hanging out with my sisters/friends..


Good luck ;)

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice and a new perspective

[spartan55]

Wow, you are sure assuming an awful lot. So if he doesn't talk to you constantly that means he is talking to another girl? So stupid.
Girls don't understand that guys don't like to talk about EVERY little detail of every second of every day, by text or phone. Sometimes there isn't much to say because everything has been discussed.

[Asker]

he's saying I'm distant when he's the one that seems distant. like I said this is rare, it only happened one other time

[spartan55]

So you don't feel like you have anything to do with this?

[Asker]

nope

[spartan55]

Of course, never your fault, right?

[Asker]

and he's not contributing to it?

[spartan55]

Of course, but look at your contribution to it as well.