Why aren’t men encouraged to cry/show emotions more?

Question

Inherently because of how society places emotions and things like crying as a feminine trait, it’s like men aren’t allowed to do it or are only permitted to do it in certain situations for a certain period of time which is messed up.  Crying and showing emotions is a normal human thing, what are peoples thoughts on this?

Technicalfalcon · Accepted Answer

Quite a lot of reasons

From an early age other men teach us to be strong and not cry. Like I feel we fall and scrape our knee when we are like 4 most male relatives will say man up and don't cry it's not manly

History always depicts great people who are male as people who are never afraid , never cry etc , people who are very stoic.

Our depiction of a perfect guy isn't influenced by what we see in media and that's usually ripped guys who arnt ever crying

It's seen as a sign to weakness to other men and women , and men have traditional had the role of being the mentally strong one through history and not the women.

Men in movies are never really shown as crying like in all funeral scenes women are bawling their eyes out and men arnt

We wanna be seen as grown Up and responsible and a man , not as a kid who cries

Some men find it embaressing but most emotional things we don't handle pretty well like compliments , lots of guys never really get compliments so when we get them we never know how to process them emotionally as we arnt as experienced

Men and women have different hormones and levels which means women are more likely to cry

Men wanna be people othe people can depend on. We wanna be an alpha and crying doesn't show a strong leader ,

andreasderjuengere · Accepted Answer

There is no practical benefit about crying, other than stress relief; that's also mentioned in the clip. As it isn't helpful - why would I encourage it? (I'm not hindering it, either).

As for tuning down other emotional display:
Most human ''feelings'' aren't positive.
When I look at typical human emotions = anger/wrath, greed, envy/jealousy, hate, power-hunger and such... then having less emotions looks more promising to me.
Also fear, insecurity, disgust, etc. will not solve our daily issues.
Despite of all the Barbie dolls and Disney movies - the natural world is a brutal one in itself - there's nothing romantic. To stay in command of your life, you need a clear head - and ''emotions'' in the wrong moments will not allow us to.

Next time when your home is on fire - you'll be happy about some 'tough guys' turning up who will not cry.
To 'control' our emotions is rather a practical skill than a social construction of etiquette.
Agreed, though: it's not needed at all times - the clip suggests it, too.

FakeName123 · Answer

Unlike some people like to think, society is to a certain extent the result of biological behaviours. Society didn't just happen, but societal rules and expectations build up over hundreds of years and they naturally incorporated biological behaviours as well as modern civilisation.

Due to sexual dimorphism, men and women are expected to fulfill different roles that COMPLEMENT each other. And these standards result in having different expectations on each other - some of those benefitting men, some of those benefitting women.

As a result of that, men are expected to be protectors and providers. For once, because men are more disposable (1 men could impregnate hundres of women), but also because being physically stronger. Due to having the role of protector, men aren't allowed to show too much vulnerability for obvious reasons. You don't exaclty feel protected by someone who is overly vulnerable.
This has also been shown in multiple studies how women are attracted to mental and physical strenght. And don't get started with "but I am different". No, you are not. If you were, your brain wiring was dysfunctional and broken - which isn't a good thing.

And before anyone get started with "but we aren't animals anymore". Yes, we are. Just because we have built civilisation, doesn't mean the biological hard-wiring magically vanished in a few hundred years. These things take tens of thousands of years. It's the peak of arrogance to think we aren't influenced by our carnal urges anymore (Why you get hungry? Why horny? Why do you feel fear? etc)

ArztSchlachthof · Answer

Well, people will try to hurt you when they discover your weaknesses. Crying is a way of showing what really troubles you, thus it's revealing your weakness, which may people use to somehow damage you in the future. I tend to always remember stoic ways of dealing with harsh stuff so I don't cry and always seem calm, in that way, people don't really hurt me, because they know it's pointless (even though it's not). That being said, way too many times people have told me or acted like they are so intimidated, they don't want to slow me down etc. That is sad, truth be told.

On the other hand, I, as someone who tends to solve problems and help people with literally everything, can't afford to cry and be depressed. I share my emotions only with a couple of people and even to them I apologize for not coming out strong as always. It is what it is.

williamstorm3 · Answer

Well nowadays, we kinda are. But we are told to man up and not be a little kid or something often, like not cry unless its something really serious. And our problems are often ignored or told were making a big deal out of it or we are thinking to much or its not a real problem we just need to man up and tough it out and we are even sometiems told like girls problems are worse and stuff. I think its the tradition of men having to be strong to provide for women and children. I agree with it to a point. Cuz were still human and getting emotional at things sometimes is part of being a human, but crying frequently over like not getting what you wanted for dinner or not getting your way are childish.

bolverk · Answer

They only women that want men to cry/show emotions more are the same women who do not want to have anything to do with men who show their emotions.

If you are near a western man who is crying you'd barely notice it, he won't be bawling, his back will be towards you and his shoulders may twitch a little,

We have been taught through long experience that you only release your emotions with extremely close friends, and women hardly ever come into that category, with the exception of family, but some times not even then.

Juxtapose · Answer

Control your emotions or they will control you. Stoism is the way to face hardships & the horrors of the world, not tears.

It is not brave or cool to cry, it is a display of *weakness* (lack of control) so of course us men are going to be ashamed if we can't control our own emotions. We're supposed to be strong in the face of torture, terror and death.

*Always*

That is what it means to be a man. We are loved for our utility and strength, not our emotions.

Why aren’t men encouraged to cry/show emotions more?

Anonymous · Answer

Why should anyone be encouraged to cry? Recently, people seem to think that it's "empowering" to show emotion. What exactly is empowering about that? How does showing your emotions make you powerful in any way? I would (This is a question for people that believe this - if you don't think this is the case then my question doesn't concern you.)

I'm not saying that people should be told not to cry simply because they are men, but I am saying that I see no purpose in ENCOURAGING people to cry. The left just wants everyone to show vulnerability for no reason.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Because WE HAVE BALLS!!! We're not ALLOWED to cry because it'll make us sissies, losers, babies and fags!! People will make fun of us!! We HAVE to be TOUGH and take EVERYTHING that comes at us or they'll take our all-important and precious balls away from us!!!
`Scuse me! I have to kiss my balls and let them know how much I love them!!

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

You just don't realize how many would actually take advantage of men showing their feelings, guilt tripping and humiliating the for their emotional gains. So yes there's also a reason why people don't relieve themselves in public (urinating/defecating in public) because of again, the shame. It's only real purpose is to relieve yourself and that alone doesn't solve problems.

Anonymous · Answer

Most cultures expect men to be tough and strong. Since warfare transitioned from being individual warriors to more organized militaries, being somewhat stoic has been admired and seen as manly.

Shihab91 · Answer

A man should be mentally strong. In my opinion, the only reason why a man can cry is losing someone. Imagine being married to a man that cry when he can't handle work pressure, how such a man will lead his family to safety and stability

Unbeatable · Answer

Because anger is just as valid of an emotion as crying and lamenting. I believe both are as annoying as each other. However if you dont teach a man to control his emotions he becomes dangerous to you.

blondfrog · Answer

Because girls will laugh at them or see them as week. This has already been proven.

Goatmeal · Answer

Weakness in guys is a major turnoff for women. So if guys want to pass on their genes, they are forced to toughen up.

Anonymous · Answer

It's simple. Men who cry are about as attractive to women as are short and penniless men. Or fat girls for men.

Damned if we don't. Damned if we do. We pick our poison and most of us have picked not to cry or show emotions.

Anonymous · Answer

Encouraged how? This isn't something that you just tell them to do and then BAM crying guys. And this "society" you're talking about--who is that? How precisely do you think guys are discouraged from crying now?

SupremeWarlord · Answer

Because crying shows that you're sad, and being sad puts you in a vulnerable position, and guys are not supposed to be vulnerable.

grega239 · Answer

Because we need men to be strong and have emotional control in order for society to go on. You can't have men crying if bullets start flying.

Anonymous · Answer

We get no benefit from it, and it has been shown to turn women off, so it's also got no evolutionary procreative advantage to it.

Ryfyle · Answer

It promotes weakness, and you subconsciously hate weakness. You can't bullshit your instincts

Anonymous · Answer

They're encouraged to do it too much. The reality is that when it does happen, women generally don't like it and there's no reason for them to take that risk.

ManHater · Answer

Because men will always be men. we get up go to war so you stupid liberal women don't end up like rape victim of Nanking.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah crying is great if you never want to ever get laid and be mocked all the time. Men can't afford to look weak, when they do society ostracizes them.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

We're told it's not "manly to" Just go listen to trump speeches "saying sorry makes you weak", he says

shydude1991 · Answer

Because we're supposed to be tough and badass like Rambo

Sexythingihope · Answer

I think it's a normal thing to do

Anonymous · Answer

I cry all the time even at movies actually feels good andndoesn't afect. my life

Still-alive · Answer

Toxic Masculinity plays a huge role here

KrakenAttackin · Answer

No one wants to see a grown man cry, no one.

COMMODOREII · Answer

It is messed up

msc545 · Answer

It's hard to fight when you are crying

Redstang88 · Answer

Somebody needs to keep it together 🤷‍♂️

anylolone · Answer

Because you want to feel safe and protected.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

If a guy tried crying, he'd be mocked by everyone

Anonymous · Answer

no lol

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