Guys: did he get the vibe I’m too meek and submissive? Do you think the fact he said this word “ controlling” means he has controlling attitude?

[TessCasie]

I’m getting to know a 40 year old divorced guy.
I told him on text that I like listening to him attentively. He’s response was “ don’t let anyone control you , not even me”

[ohshee]

To be honest I would have to heard the tone of his voice when he was saying that I would have to say that it probably is controlling or did he's just full of himself and his part of the manipulation type thing I'm sure his ex-wife said something to him before about it and you might have pushed one of his buttons maybe he doesn't want to be that way maybe he knows that he is there's a lot of factors I would need to know in order to answer the question what other percent honest but I would say that is probably full of himself and that he is probably a little bit of a controller what were his words right after he said don't let anybody control you not even me what was the next words he said

[TessCasie]

He has a controlling voice. He didn’t say anything after that !

[ohshee]

Yeah it's it's the vibe that I got just off your words that you used that's why I said he probably heard his ex-wife say that to him many times and I think down deep you probably already know who he is what he is and what he's all about and that's where you're going to have to make a choice and just remember you know you can't change anybody

[TessCasie]

I did speak to him twice on video call he’s got mood swings and he can be rough and tough. Once playfully he texted me saying I’m the type of guy who’ll pull you’re hair. That was shocking cause never heard anyone type something like that.

[TessCasie]

But I don't know why I like that about him and I want to be owned by him.

[TessCasie]

I even told him once on text upon meeting him I might just stare with open mouth at his face as he speaks. So he’s reply was “ omg don’t say shyt like that omfg” I don't know why he reacted like that

[ohshee]

We'll see there's a couple different types of controlling there'sbi what type of controlling where it's just rude and ruthless and evil they will eventually end up in a very bad place but then there's also a very type of controlling where yes for sure you control that person with either roughness or with passion and desire and like pulling hair I love to pull hair and say come here now because this is what I'm going to do to you and even though it's a rough type of control it's also very hot control because when you can have control desire passion roughness hot lust with a command or demand with interview and it itches hot I think I absolutely love that and what makes it even better is when the girl is somewhat innocent kind of shy or they can play that role that just makes it even hotter I think anyway damn now you have me thinking LOL

[hahahmm]

It means he thinks he'd be more attracted to a woman who has her own stories to share. Maybe you're pretending to be what you think he wants and he senses that too.

[TessCasie]

Huh what am I pretending?

[hahahmm]

I said "maybe". That you'd be pretending to actually give a crap about what he says when really you're just trying to worm your way into his heart.

[TessCasie]

Hehehe your so smart

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Sounds like im missing conversation that happened in between

[MrOracle]

While it's good advice to not give up your agency (your control over your own life), because that can be dangerous, it sounds like his comment goes even further than that - as if she doesn't like submissive women who want the man to lead - OR - he's afraid of how he is when he's in a more dominant position. Some guys aren't actually dominant naturally, and the only way they know to ACT dominant is to be mean or violent - genuinely mean or violent. He may be one of those guys, and this might be a warning about that.

We can't know for sure what he's thinking, but it's something you probably need to talk to him about in more depth.

[molonski2]

No , I think he is just trying to be nice..
He should have said " get over here and I'll put you over my knee "
he's just saying have control of your life.. yourself. Its a reasonable comment.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Judging by his response. Yes, although from what you text him? I really don't know WHY he drew that conclusion. Being attentive shows you care, it has nothing to do with submissiveness.

[RichardCranium6201]

Wait a minute. We're u texting me? Cuz i say that all the time. Cddddr f rfeddedde

[TessCasie]

Lol wym

[RichardCranium6201]

Remind me later. . Imma run inside a casino

[John8298]

His ex wife probably said he was controlling and is just wanting to warn you in a way that doesn't make him seem weak and makes you feel strong.

[Avicenna]

Nah, it was an odd thing to say, but it doesn't mean he's controlling

[Anonymous]

He sounds full of himself. How could he come to that conclusion just off ofvthat?

[TessCasie]

I agree

[Honesttguy]

Noo you're not 32, you are already his puppy at this point. He can just do whatever he wants to you and you would love that.

[TessCasie]

Whaaattty?

[Jamie05rhs]

He was probably just worried about you. He was just watching out for you and trying to give you good advice so you wouldn't get hurt.

[DaveToo]

No, I think he's actually quite fond of you and is giving you some good advice.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Well you are submissive and he's taking advantage of that

[krin_m]

That is a bit of a strange response. I would have said "Thank you" and meant it.