He gets mad and says I like to take control. But he's sitting here, NOT being a man and taking control and initiation at all. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother being with a guy who can't be a man in the relationship but gets mad at the fact that his wife is taking control of situations and deciding on things?
If I don't take control, he won't, so wth?
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did you agree on 50/50 or that someone was going to lead?
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We talked and said we could do 50/50 but he always have told me that he doesn't want me to do anything and that he wants to do every for us. So I sit back and focus on my job and do my part. He does nothing. He brings nothing to the table. All his jobs, he quit or got fired because of his drinking problem, so it was never steady income or any sort of help with bills at all. I start taking control by paying both our bills and making sure the house is clean, etc, while he sits his ass on his phone, watching videos all day every day.
I started to tell him that I have to start doing things because I felt like he wasn't helping but that I am always welcoming a helping hand with anything he can. He just gets mad and says that I just wanna control things.
sounds like the 50/50 was mentally agreed upon but 50/50s do not work in practice
for him once it slips slightly below 50, it begins to drop drastically. the reverse would also be true if it raises slightly above 50, then he'll take charge
So should I just not do anything then? It was never like this until he started up his drinking problem and kept losing his job. I've told him that I can take care of things if he can take care of himself and get back up on his feet. But he won't budge with anything. But if I don't do anything, he also has something negative to say, too
what is your delivery to him like? sweet and feminine or outright tough attitude because if it's the latter, men are not very receptive to that
Sweet and feminine until he starts not doing anything, then I feel like I have to basically be the "man" in the relationship.
It just feels like he just doesn't wanna do anything because he doesn't know his purpose.
You chose him so don’t complain about the man you allowed yourself to be with