My Girlfriend does not like me going on trips abroad for work. Is she being controlling?

Question

So once a year my company would take me on an all paid for trip, usually for about 1 week abroad. My girlfriend has told me she does not agree with work trips, she has no issue with me going with friends/family for holiday. But for whatever reason me going for work ONCE a year is a big deal and we argue REALLY badly.

What is going on and is she being controlling because this is too much and I am contemplating breaking up with her as she is guilt-tripping me and making me seem like I dont care.

She has always said from the start of the relationship that she hates long-distance relationships and she does not like work trips. However, this is 1 week out of the entire year, why is she exaggerating?

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

Honestly I would like to hear her side before I give an opinion I am sure of. I will say for me, if my fiance went anywhere for a week without me, I would not be happy. I might be OK with it but it would not be my preference. In your case, my questions would be, first you said she brought it up early on, has she been consistent the whole time? And, is the trip mandatory or at least do you feel like it's mandatory for your career or is it optional? And is there a way she could join you even if you or she have to pay for it?

Having said all that if you're talking about her being controlling and considering breaking up, maybe there are other issues and, maybe breaking up is unfortunately the right choice, but, I don't feel like I know enough about the situation to say that or really to give any firm opinion, I hope writing out my questions and thought process helps though. JMO good luck!

Starlove4 · Accepted Answer

Have u ever cheated on her In the past on a work trip? Is there something she knows about these work trips that u don’t think she knows? If not , then she’s just being insecure and controlling. If u gently give her reassurance about the work trip then maybe she will be ok with it. But obviously she has some kind of fear that u r probably messing with a co worker or you’re doing something you’re not supposed to be doing on these trips. She’s cool with family trips but not work trips … either u gave her a reason to believe u will cheat on the work trip or she’s just letting her trust issues get the best of her.

RedInnocent68 · Accepted Answer

I feel you. I once had to go on a company offsite in another country. For insurance purposes, the office couldn’t travel on the same plane. Lo and behold I get paired with the hottest girl in the office for my travel buddy. I was very transparent with my SO and even shared photos from the trip. When she saw my travel buddy in her casual, non-work clothes from the flight, she couldn’t stand the thought of us being alone together and refused to believe we didn’t spend the entire trip fucking. Does your girlfriend ever get to travel for work or conferences?

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

I'm guessing she has some insecurity and trust issues. She doesn't want you to go because she's afraid you'll find someone else during the trip... and she hasno way to fight that.

Don't argue with her. Just tell her, calmly, that you are going on the trip and will call her every day. I know that's a lot to ask of you but that will help with her issues. Then go and enjoy the trip. Oh, one more thing. Buy her something nice from wherever you are, something that will remind her of the trip, and give that to her as soon as you get home.

Honest-Matt · Answer

It's just trust issues, she thinks you're unfaithful on the trips because the stereotype of work trips is guys are unfaithful. Most of the older men I know who are married and go on these trips end up going to strip clubs or do sleep with women. But they tell their wives and the wives go have a girls weekend and do the same. Honestly, it's what it is. Your word should be enough, if you tell her that you understand she worries and that you will be faithful to her, that's all she should need. Do not apologize for your life existing.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

If you two are really close, maybe she just misses you that week your gone. That's not a bad thing it means she's really into you. Considering, it is work related and your not volunteering to go, she should put on her big girl pants and should be able to do a week a year. Besides, going away for work for a week goes by so quick and then your home again. We tend to appreciate those people we love more when they return from work related trips. She should focus on that.

BCA6010 · Answer

Oh ffs that's nothing... my dad is a pilot and I did 4.5 years in the Army. When he flew domestic, he was gone almost 50% of days, and our military deployments were 9+ months at a time plus multiple 2-4 week training exercises throughout the year. Sure these are far more extreme examples, but it puts your situation into perspective. Either she needs to learn to deal with it, or you may need to consider finding someone else.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I used to date this girl who hated it when I had to fly out for shoots. She was living with me at the time and just really didn't like being alone at the house.

I think it was worse for her because we lived an hour away from her area. An hour of driving to someone from NY /NJ is a lot by the way, I heard it's a thing that only we complain about an hour drive 😂

provokeesmokee · Answer

Sounds like she's got something going on about why she's so at against work trips only.

That needs a discussion.

Maybe you can bring her along and she can have a week vacay as you work.

But in my opinion, that sounds like a great week vacay for her at home, too?

Miristheiss · Answer

No she is not.

The reality you two just haven't come to accept yet is that you are not compatible.

You 2 will never be happy with each other. She shouldn't be with a guy with this kind of job and you need a girl who is ok with work travel.

Accept reality.

Anonymous · Answer

FREE trips abroad because of your work? she's probably hella jealous! that's why!

you're too young to stay with an insecure girl like this. seriously. find someone else. maybe her ex cheated on her while he was away on a work trip. it just seems very weird to always say "i don't like long distance relationships or work trips" like... what kind of criteria is that?

exitseven · Answer

She thinks it would be okay if you went with friends but not as part of your job? That makes no sense. She sounds like she has soem ulterior motive about your job.

McLlovin · Answer

Communicate and talk seriously about what’s the main real reason. You might have to compromise with her.

Unit1 · Answer

yes. Imagine having to choose between the thing, that gives you paper to buy food and rent a warm roof vs a controlling and insecure little girl in an adult female body. Crazy woman.

slatyb · Answer

End this. She's being totally unreasonable.

Twalli · Answer

She apparently doesn't trust you. Otherwise she wouldn't care. I agree that long distance is difficult, but it's a week. That shouldn't affect your relationship

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Bit of an orange flag. Not quite red flag but worrying

rienna888 · Answer

She just loves you and probably misses you. And also worried about cheating

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah it does sound like control issues, and possibly trust issues.

Iron_Man · Answer

My friend takes work trips every week, and he’s happily married

MJtheCoach · Answer

Tell her to leave then.. if she doesn’t like it. Or shut her trap!

coachTanthony · Answer

Yea dump her

boggboss · Answer

Yes she is being controlling

shades777 · Answer

is she your mom and are you a boy?

My Girlfriend does not like me going on trips abroad for work. Is she being controlling?

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