Ah, (laughs) I'm so Confused a little. How can someone Wants your attention one minute, then the next you're being ignored?

[Anonymous]

So I actually wasn't going to give into this person, as far as Opening up, communication again. Like I know, I told this person a few months ago, how I was involved and dating someone. So I get that. But it's like, you Literally hit me up two different time's. One on this past week on a Thursday then hit me up again this weekend like yesterday. So I accept your request and talk with you today. And the last things you do is hearts my last Comments, then don't say anything else to me for today. And they wonder why, I don't make the time or Effort to initiate conversation with them, Or any kind of communication with them. Can someone Explain this type of behavior? lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sounds like games... When you don't want to talk, it's like a challenge to get you to, but then when you give in, it's no longer a challenge..

[Asker]

Right crazy smh

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

a lot of people seem to be more and more that way lately

[Asker]

But why play games? . if he's with someone or seeing else.. Then say so.. WTF!!!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Because for some, one ain't enough... Or they need to feel like they have a back up plan or back burner chick..
Too though, people these days don't think it's cheating to talk to or date multiple people at once

[Asker]

I agree.. Can you also answer this too. What's wrong with him? ↗ thank you

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Gotta get ready to leave for work.. but already did tell you. He sounds like someone that don't care unless he needs or wants attention and when he's not getting or seeking it from you, it's most likely cuz he's getting it/seeking it from others.
And the more you put up with it but keeping him around, well why would someone change behavior if people accept it/put up with it? People will treat us the way we allow them too. You have more power in how people treat you. If this has been going on for a long time, that's a good indication he ain't going to change, so then you have to decide if you want to put up with it or find someone who won't do those things.. there is good men out there that won't treat women that way.. but even being alone is better than putting up with someone treating you like shit. Good luck❤️

[Asker]

Amen to that sister. And I know your getting ready for work. But one last thing. I'm very aware that he sleeps with others. But it's like, if I told him what I'm looking for what I want and the things I'm not willing to do shouldn't he be more than enough understanding I mean most real men what you do a leave I say okay and then some will just move on to the next best thing. Am MY thing is since he has others that he sleeps with, he should no longer be invested IN trying to sleep with me ANYMORE. Most man will just be like f it and stop. Smh. And truthfully I might have to block him. And that's another thing then he does when I do start to ignore him or not respond to his text or messages that he wants to hit me up then once I do give him the attention then he disappears. My absence to him shouldn't matter that's when he starts going crazy the most. Grrr

[Asker]

And have a good day at work and thank you for the advice and help

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Not if he's a narcissist... And some guys will sleep with as many women that will let them.. Just because he's sleeping with others wouldn't mean he'll stop trying to sleep with you.. Some will even try that lie, if I was really sleeping with others, why would I be here with you, or why would I want sex with you... Don't buy into that... And if you're really done with him, then it won't matter of he reaches out/doesn't blocks you/doesn't... You have to get to the point that you go by your actions and behaviors not his... You "tell" him you're done, but Everytime you cave, your "actions" show otherwise.. No judgement, think we all been there at some point... As Kenny Rogers sang
"Gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to RUN

[Asker]

Thank You! You seem very wise and have a good understanding about what's really going on here. And my thing is, each and every time that I do leave him alone. I have to stop going back to him or allowing him to come back into my life.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly!! He can "try" to come back so he wants... But he can only "succeed" if you let him... And even though letting go of someone you may care about or the familiarity, sometimes that's the best thing... Sometimes doing the right thing can be hard, but if we don't do it, it just holds us back or stuck in place... You have to not focus on how much time you invested in that person/relationship but more do you really want to invest more time if that person won't/ can't change? Life is short, money can be lost and rearmed, but lost time is something you can't get back, so don't keep giving that time to someone who's not worthy of it.. Again, good luck❤️

[Asker]

Thank You so very much. I needed to hear that.. Amen! Sister amen. And your right. 8 years is a long time to know someone, and he did change some of his ways. But he still remains in my truck and being childish and immature. He'll sleep with anything.. It's just that I don't understand how someone can day that they love you and care... But don't show ENOUGH or nothing. He already established that he wasn't going anywhere. Okay cool! And my thing is.. If he likes other chicks then say that... Why lie. I mean.. he feels very comfortable was asking me about sex. He should be comfortable with being honest with me and saying. Hey I'm talking to someone, we might need to take a break from speaking or I only want to reach out to you on these particular days. So we both want to remain in each other's life but I honestly don't know how longer I can do this.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Can I ask why you would settle for being with someone that sleeps with others while sleeping with you? Are you "really" okay with that? Or do you put up with it as a way to keep him in your life? Cuz noone is worth becoming something/ someone you're really not. With someone "who" really loves you, you wouldn't have to. And anyone can say the words "I love you" and not mean them. It's the actions and behaviors that tell the "tale"... But if you choose to stay, then you can't really complain or put the blame just on him because you're choosing to let him treat you that way. My first husband was physically abusive, yet I have to take responsibility/blame for putting up with the abuse far longer than I should of..

[Asker]

Awe man, I'm very sorry that you had to go through that abuse. :(. And truthfully I don't even communicate with him and you better not come around asking me for sex because he already know my answer is no. I already told him, how I was seeing someone. And yes, he has back off since, so a lot of things that he does and do I really can't be mad at him. I mean besides him being stupid and retarded and just talking dumb and out of his head. He really is a good guy and he makes me feel good when he's not upsetting me but he can't make me feel good one day and then upset me another. And I'm not choosing to stay I just haven't had enough courage to go. Like I said and I both want to remain the same each other's life and he hasn't really asked me about sex right now. But this here and there and on and off thing, it has to stop. Anything about him he can't give me what I'm looking for so in ways I don't settle for less I'm just dealing with less as far as communication I'm dealing with him sexually I cut that off. But mentally and emotionally he needs to be erased out of mind and out of sight.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Try finding something that you can do when you get the urge to cave in or reach out... Or a trusted friend you can call that can offer encouragement and support... Even bad people aren't bad ALL the time or have all bad characteristics. If they did it would be easier to get over, get past, right? Lol

[Asker]

Absolutely 100% correct but I can't allow myself to stay here and is situationship with him I owe it to myself to leave like you said

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Good luck 💛🤗

[Asker]

Thank You. Do you have FB

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No Old dinosaur lady.. Other than here, don't have social media..

[Asker]

Awe man. I would love to keep speaking with you. You seem like, you would be able to help me and give me me sum good advice

[20yearsolder]

They are bored and you are there entertainment until they find something better to do

[Asker]

You think so lol

[20yearsolder]

I do

[Asker]

Probably. But he has been doing this shit for years.. smh

[spartan55]

So everything has to be your way... sounds like every guy's dream

[Asker]

Haha no. But it's like, what's the. Point of them reaching out to me.. Then the next... Don't say anything.. WTF

[spartan55]

Yeah... but you ignored him twice before talking to him. I guess that's okay?

[Asker]

Your right. And I did tell him, about me seeing someone

[Asker]

So, that may have something to do with it.

[spartan55]

Uh... yeah... definitely.

[Asker]

LMAO LOL

[spartan55]

So what's your move now?

[Asker]

IF HE'S with someone or seeing... Then why not say so... like I did... WTF!!!

[Asker]

AND TBH.. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CUT THIS PEACE OF SHIT OFF. LIKE I K THE SOB TALKS AND FUCK OTHERS... BUT KEEP IT 100% OR ELSE GET THE WALKING!!!

[Asker]

HE JUST TURN 31. THAT FUCKER NEEDS TO GROW UP

[spartan55]

Oooookay... not sure where that came from...

[Asker]

Okay I have one more question.. Then I'm done with this SOB grrr What's wrong with him? ↗

[Asker]

I want you to keep it real and tell me What I need to knowNot what I want

[spartan55]

I already that about five times.

[Asker]

This is a different question

[Asker]

Similar to the ones I've asked, but a little bit different

[spartan55]

Why do you act like he needs to tell you anything about his personal life? This is insanity.

[Asker]

B. c we are grown here... And he should be more open with me... He sure don't make it an issue to ask me for SEX.. smh. Soo why lie. I don't need to know who they are... I can care less. But for me I feel like once you get older and age you put the games and bs away

[Asker]

After I allow and let him sleep with me for 7 years. oh yes he owes me more than enough of honesty and just tell the truth.

[spartan55]

Sorry, he really doesn't though. "we are grown here..." that's funny.
"He should be more open with you" why should he? Because you had sex for several years? You are delusional. You seem to think this guy is your boyfriend of some sort, it's kinda psycho tbh.

[Asker]

No. Not even that. I just feel like... that over the years he should feel or be more open with me... like why lie. Smh. I keep it 100% with him with no problems.

[spartan55]

Stop thinking he is supposed to act like you, or think like you. You not only think it, you set your expectations up to it as well, and the cycle continues.

[Asker]

... Well he's suppose to act right... And do as I say... 😆 😆 or else he's going to pay the consequences

[spartan55]

Yeah, I'll assume you are kidding when you say that.

[Asker]

Yes and No.. this man needs to be on on a leash hehe 😂😂😂

[54Will]

It's normal for a guy to be less than excited about being seen as "all over you". This shouldn't be a big surprise.

[Asker]

Yeah. But he has been trying to reach me.. And now that he do.. He MIA.. Like... WTF! But you're right it's not a surprise