He seems to like measure with me and we talked consecutively for 4 days. He just doesn’t initiate conversation 😓, why?

[Anonymous]

I initiated conversation. We were answering each other quite slow because we are both busy with school and work. We continued our conversation and it lasted for 4 days. Actually I was the one who ended the conversation.

even though we were answering each others messages after several hours does it show interest that he alwys continued our converstion and it eventually lasted days?

We were answering sometimes 6-7 hours later but always during the same day. Still do u think it’s shows interest from him that our conversation continued for 4 days?

He was joking and funny throughout our conversation.

Updates

+1 y

Message not measure lol

[horatiohornblower]

Sure, it sounds like it. Probably just isn't much for texting. He might also be one of those people who never initiate a conversation. I can't think of the last time I've called or texted someone first. Except if it's for information.

[Asker]

So he could very much like me although I’m reaching out first?

[horatiohornblower]

Yes, quite a few guys are like that. He responds to you and doesn't tell you to stop. That's good.

[Asker]

He’s responds are funny and not short at all. I just feel sad that I have to reach out to him first but in the other hand we are very in the beginning stages. I haven’t told him that I like him but I think he at least suspects it….

[horatiohornblower]

I wouldn't feel sad about it. It's just the way some guys are. Without it meaning anything one way or another about how they feel about you.

[Asker]

I like him. How should I proceed?

[horatiohornblower]

I'm not a big fan of modern dating with all the texting. It just doesn't replace meeting someone face to face. Two hours talking to someone in person can replace a months of texting. As you're getting body signals, voice cues and can look them in the eye.

It's nice for a couple get to know you questions. Just to say, I'd like to meet this person. But after a week it needs to go to a date or end.

Suggest to him to take you to dinner or ask him if he'd like to meet for coffee. If he waffles a little. Give him a date, time and place for coffee. If he says he's busy. Peg him by asking when you he go out then.

Basically, you want to settle if this is going into a date or not. Because by now he should know if he wants to get to know you better. If there is no date. It's no reflection on you. You just weren't a match.

[Jamie05rhs]

@horatiohornblower gives good advice.

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, I don't see any negatives here.

[Asker]

Why?

[Jamie05rhs]

Where is the issue, in your opinion?

[Asker]

He doesn’t message me first

[Jamie05rhs]

Hmm.
Well, what's the context of your relationship so far? Where did you meet? How much does he know about you? What subjects have you guys talked about so far?

I can't speak for all guys, but I think most of us generally have categories that we put women in as far as how we are supposed to relate to them (business associate, friend, "little sister", "big sister", "mom", "foreign pen pal", etc.). So how he approaches you and addresses you is going to depend on which category you're in. There's also another category, which is "potential significant other.". That's the woman that we'll take more seriously and the one that we'll be more proactive with. Is that the role you envisioning yourself in? If so, you have to find a way to convey that to him.

[Asker]

We don’t rach other that well. We live in the same city and we’re friends in facebook. I have mainly initiated conversations with him on facebook and he’s been enthusiastic when messaging me back. I would like to meet him and go on a date etc but I don’t want to do all the work…

[Asker]

He doesn’t know me that well. Last time when we talked we were talking about our studies etc.

[Asker]

We don’t know*

[Jamie05rhs]

Hmm. Ok, so that's part of the problem. You're friends on Facebook. Facebook is generally -- mostly -- used for platonic friendships. If you want him to think you want something more than that, then you have to redefine the relationship.
But I think what you probably need to do first is get him to hang out. Then when you're with him in person you can let him know that you "like" him.

[Asker]

If he was in interested wouldn’t he make that move himself? I’m just afraid of him thinking that I’m ”chasing” him.

[Jamie05rhs]

No, he wouldn't. Because, again, at this point, he still doesn't know if You're interested. He just thinks you're a friend. A single guy isn't going to try to spend time irl with a person who he's just "friends" with. It just isn't an efficient use of our time. So that's why I said that You should invite Him. Because he'll show up to hang out just to be polite. And that's when you can put the moves on him.

[Asker]

Wht does it mean that when me message each others he puts effort to his messages so out conversation continues

[Asker]

Our*

[Jamie05rhs]

It means he likes talking to you, at the very least! :)