Why does he always try to improve me when he's not anything special himself?

[Anonymous]

I'm I'm better shape, degree, friends and have a better job. Where is just a very under weight lanky guy, no friends and has a crap job

[Ekke118]

Can you clarify?
"try to improve you" can be understood as taking a support role. But it can also be understood as complaining trying to 'fix' you.
Which one is it?

[Asker]

Well he says I'm not toned enough and have to wear my hair a certain way etc

[Ekke118]

Ah, how annoying. He has a controlling personality but not much authority it seems. Most of his claim for influencing you is from saying he would like you more and you could try warning him about it. Because the more he controls you the less you will be compelled by what he wants you to do or be. He might stop out of fear if you put it that way.

[Asker]

But yet he's not a Mr olympia himself and isn't stylish

[Ekke118]

That's what I mean by having no authority. No ethos appeal in his message.

[Asker]

How come the other girls weren't toned either they were just skinny or frumpy looking and they never wore any anything either so wtf?

[Asker]

Anything special***

[Ekke118]

Which other girls? Previous girlfriends?

[Asker]

Yeah previous girlfriend or dates

[Ekke118]

He may not have tried influencing them as much. This could be for many reasons:
- he could have had different preferences before;
- he could like both ends (likes skinny, and also likes toned) more than the middle;
- he could have sensed they weren't as receptive to attempts at influence; he could have not considered himself to have settled down enough to worry about changing these traits;
- he could have tried being more aware that being controlling substracts him points and now he just feel comfortable with your emotional dependence to him despite being of a "higher league" compared to previous girlfriends;
- he may think that despite being more attractive to him, you may be "lower league" for a different or unknown reason to most other guys, leading to thinking he can ask more of you (don't worry, I'm sure you do more than enough)
Or only recently got a taste for trying to influence his partner to be even further to his liking.

[Asker]

This guy also called me at last minute for me to stay in a hotel when I travelled for to see him and it was -30 outside where he lived

[FilmGuy93]

Because he's a hypocrite. Lots of people are hypocrites. In fact, you should probably assume that anyone giving you advice (especially unsolicited advice) is more likely a hypocrite than not.

[spartan55]

Once again, who is 'he'?

[Asker]

A guy I was dating not boyfriend tho

[spartan55]

Why do you even care what he says? Tell him to go bug off.

[Hangry06]

Better question is why are you with him?

[BarryLiverstone]

Better question is why be with him?

[Asker]

Yes but why all these comments when the girls he's into doesn't dress that overly stylish and is just skinny or frumpy like wtf

[BarryLiverstone]

What girls are he into?

[Asker]

Haha nothing what he tells me to change about my self anyway absolute hypocrite

[Anonymous]

How specifically is he trying t improve you?

[Asker]

He once said I'm not toned enough and have to wear my hair a certain way... always suggesting me to do things

[Opinion Owner]

He sounds like a bit of a jerk.

[Asker]

I blocked him hopefully I'll find a nicer guy one day

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck.

[LegendaryIcon]

why do you care

[Asker]

Yeah what a jackass