He treats me like shit, but he is comforting to me. why?

[Anonymous]

He was my first ever boyfriend and he’s been the only male in my life really. I’ve told him every single thing in my life. I hate myself when I’m with him & I hate my life even more when I’m not with him. I literally feel so aimless.

He told me I would never find anyone better than him and then I tried to go on a few dates but all I want to do is talk to him. We don’t even have anything in common, he acknowledged it, it’s just trauma bonding I guess.

Has anyone else ever dealt with this?

[bulleye]

She loved me and was addicted to me as much I was to her. But in different timelines. I took her for granted thinking I will find a better one. All that time, she was saying the same things as you while I said she can find someone better. I played mind games to the point she questioned her sanity.

I always thought she was beneath me coz she never showed off her wealth like many Insta babes with skinny clothes dancing in pubs. She was women of class, presented eloquently.

Her only fault was her regret of being rude to me turned into love, that once I wanted. She loved me, was clingy and attached. Just like how I was to her.

Anyhow what I said turned out to be true. She found someone better. She is happy while I cry. I cry coz she was the only one person I could trust truly, who will love me unconditionally, who will understand when the inner child in me throw tantrums, who will be a mother, friend and lover, who will love my family as her's.

I see her everyday at work. She shines brighter than the diamonds in her accessories. While I stay in the dark corner.

Trust me, you will shine like her one day and your man will be like cancerous cigarette ashes that kills the one who love them.

[Summeroflove]

He’s telling you that because he’s jealous and knows there’s better. Its time for you to leave it seems like he was one person who got you to open up, and then he shown who he really is.

People do this, they collect all this information about you to use against you later down the road.

If he’s your ex you’re not obligated to put up with his shit tell him he can go fuck off….. point blank. If you’re still witn him don’t cheat be the bigger person. Maybe he deserves it but allow him to go find some skank. That’s what he deserves just don’t he that skank.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic case of being chained to someone by the heavy links of trauma bonding! You're not alone in this whirlwind, trust me. It feels like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, doesn't it? On one side, there's this comforting familiarity with him, the devil you know. But, darling, it's a trick mirror reflecting a skewed version of love.

Your ex has sprinkled some of that not-so-magical dust called manipulation, making you believe he's the best you'll ever have. It's a big, fat lie. Remember, the fear of being alone can sometimes cloud our vision, making us run back to what's harmful because it feels safe. But here's a glittering truth: you deserve someone who treats you like the treasure you are, not someone you have to tiptoe around.

If I were you, I'd focus on rebuilding the love story with yourself first. Dive into personal interests, passions, or anything that lights a spark inside you. This isn't just about finding hobbies; it's about rediscovering who you are outside of this relationship. Once you start flirting with self-love, you'll see what real love should feel like. And trust me, it's out there waiting for you, far away from anyone who treats you like anything less than amazing. Keep your chin up, lovely! The road ahead is shimmering with promise.

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

He sounds terrible since he said you could never find anyone better than him. Thats a shitty guy right there. You seem insightful to know it might be a trauma bond. You are young there are decent men out there for you a thousand times better than him. I hope you get better.

[jahaims]

Unresolved trauma