I went on the best date ever but he hasn't really texted since, I'm not sure what to think?

Question

I went on a date 2 days ago, it was way up there in comparison to previous first dates. We just clicked instantly. We ended up spending 7 hours together, visited 3 different locations. There were no silent moments, I smiled until my cheeks hurt. He didn't directly flirt with me but would tell me that he's so shocked by my intellect and how well we connect and when time ran away from us he told me that he didn't want to leave, that he really wants to see me again. There were moments where I'd express an oddly specific opinion/perspective on a topic and his mouth would drop, and he'd ask where I came from as if I'd just stolen the words out of his mouth. We didn't kiss, but he sat and played guitar for me and swooned over my music taste and my philosophies and every little thing we have in common. I really FELT the connection. He's also a creative, and more of a doer than just a talker. There's enough evidence to back that up. He told me he finds me attractive, too.

Here's the problem though...

He told me that his last relationship ended 6 months ago partially because he is so dedicated to his craft that sometimes he'll put his phone down for days at a time to finish a piece, that he isn't much of a texter, and that girls don't understand this about him and it causes tension. Fair enough, I thought it made sense. But on the date he showed me some of his artworks hidden in his chats and i didn't see much but he didn't look like a bad texter. Even so, ever since our date, ever since he told me how he's so ridiculously keen to see me again and we're going to make all these plans together, I've hardly heard from him. This morning for example after I texted first he exchanged 2 messages asking about how my work has been going, then ignored me for the last 13 hours. He's been actively posting on his business account, and I can see his online status on whatsapp now and then when I check, and I'm just so confused. I thought it went so well? Am I overthinking this?

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

People who want you in their life will make the time to do so with no excuses.

There are 168 hours in a week.
Let's say:

-You sleep 7 hours a day (49 hours a week)

-You work 60 hour weeks

-It takes you 2 hours to commute to work a day (10-14 hours a week)

-3 hours for recreation (netflix or whatever), family and friends a day (21 hours a week)

-Cooking and eating 2 hours a day (14 hours a week)

These numbers are highly exaggerated. Realistically not many peoples weeks are that jammed packed. But even with that jam packed week you're still left with 10 hours left in the week. IF PEOPLE WANT TO MAKE THE TIME FOR YOU, THEY WILL.

The fact he can't message a simple message saying "Hey sorry I've been meaning to message you, but I've been pretty busy. We definitely clicked and I definitely want to see you again." means that he doesn't care enough.

lonestar_01 · Accepted Answer

Some guys don't text out of the thought of looking desperate. Same thing with some girls. Could be a multitude of things, so not to sure myself. If you want, send him a text, personally the longer you put something like that off the more awkward it becomes

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

He’s not so into texting and it sounds like he has a busy and creative life. Ik I’m a girl, but I’m a lot like him (so maybe my answer will help!) I’m not into texting either. I prefer bonding -in person- w friends and guys. It’s the best way to get to know someone. Much more fun and memorable.

Y’all spent *a lot* of time together in a single day and did lots of talking. It’s obvious he’s into you. He probably wants to save all the GOOD conversation for *next time you two meet in person*. Trust me, just because he hasn’t texted you doesn’t mean you’re not on his mind!

He might text you again soon just to check on you or plan something. He’s made it clear he doesn’t text at times since he’s busy w his art. He liked you enough to let you know that so you wouldn’t think he was flat out ghosting on you. He obviously enjoyed your time together so don’t worry <3 Good luck! 👍☘️

FictionalCharacter · Accepted Answer

Sounds like a ‘dreamer’ player. Where he is chasing his dreams while playing with your emotions.

I mean he already give you proof of his previous ex’s lack of communication from his part. So, that was a red flag 🚩.

You make him sound like a nice guy. But maybe he’s not ready for relationship, the way he think he is. Because he is too busy on himself.

I don’t know. If not hearing back from him for a whole day, is hurting you. Then maybe end it quickly and find someone else who has time for you.

Anonymous · Answer

I’ve dated boys like this. I am assuming he’s in your age range? Many boys this age who are into music and art really are aloof/don’t know how to balance a girlfriend and their craft. I dated a guy like this for several months before I just gave up because I was always the one making plans and wanting to be with him more. That was when I was 18-19. I’m now 27 and to this day he messages me saying how much he regrets his actions and messed up and didn’t know what he was doing. I’ve dated other musicians in their early 20’s before too and then too, very aloof and then years later come back saying how young and stupid they were. Unfortunately I lost interest and once it’s gone it’s dead.
so in your case, you guys are young and unless you’re willing to be patient with him and not take it personal, it won’t work. But if you have needs, you should also have those met and not settle so make sure you aren’t allowing aloofness when it hurts you or the whole thing keeps falling flat. For now I’d say just don’t make assumptions and have fun.

atiquahbby · Answer

Tbh, there could be another reason, like he could like you but is still too scared of talking as he isn't too sure of what he wants in his life. Either he's not ready yet, but I think you should stop, it's hard but it's better to stop early than to get urself into him and get yourself even more heartbroken

Flower7 · Answer

This guy doesn’t seem truly interested in having a relationship with anyone. It doesn’t even seem to be a problem with you specifically. He’s said that in the past, he disappears from his phone for several days. Apparently, dating is just not a priority for him, in general. He is too flaky and will always keep going missing and not being there for you.

loveslongnails · Answer

He's an artist - artist's have their own head space and it doesn't conform to "how soon should I text back to show I'm interested". For now, take him at his word that he's into you and don't crowd him or blow up his phone. Cool your engine and be patient. See when and how he responds, then gauge it from there.

ElvenMr · Answer

There is no way he is losing interest, at least according to what you said about your date. He replied to you, no worries here, it's just a few days or hours.
He seems busy. He said he is a bad texter, so i think he won't text you unless he wants to make some plans with you, whenever he can.
You can text him with whatever if you want tho, and he'll probably reply.

Waldoe · Answer

he told you that he puts his phone down for days, that does Not mean you shouldn't text him and let him know that you are thinking about him, and hope his projects are going well... if he feels supportive, he will take time to contact you... because your not being clingy or demanding

sunshineglow · Answer

I think he's an introvert a bit and regardless of that, simply wants to take things slower. It's a good thing. Don't worry yet. Maybe if there's be some more serious problem. So far it seems great to me.

noohair · Answer

You might be describing someone with bi-polar and he is very self absorbed. Or he does not have bi-polar and he is very self absorbed. I get the texting thing with him. Texting for me is tedious. I have fat fingers and can only type one letter at a time with one finger. Hope it goes well for you.

AviatorTom · Answer

He told you on the date he's interested, and he also told you he's often busy with his craft. Why do you expect him to immediately answer your texts. Back off a little, let him know you'd like to see him again... when he's available.

asleep · Answer

You either accept he needs this much space or you move on, because it's not going to change. He basically told you upfront, he's not into chatting every day or at length. It does not matter how much he's posting elsewhere, or what else he's doing with his time. If you need more, you're better off with someone else who wants to provide it.

mark000h · Answer

I hate texting. I know everyone's doing it, but i rarely return texts. Some people like face to face. See if he wants to meet up again for something else and lay off the texts.

Lockey_ · Answer

My huble guess: he is currently not looking for a relationship. To be honest, from the description you wrote i sense that this guy might never at all be looking for a serious relationship in his life.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Your generation judges people by how quickly they return text messages. Is that really the criterion by which a propective partner should be judged?

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Text him: It was great seeing you! When can I see you again?  Its direct to the point and leaves the ball in his court.

summiter · Answer

I'd give him some time. Tell him you would prefer a quick call... rather then a text. Arrange for a good time to call or meet.

Exterminatore · Answer

Sounds like my wife and I on our first date…except we f*cked. Anyway, chill. Sounds like he likes you. Enjoy the anticipation and build up in between texts and your next date.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Ask him to meet up the following weekend. If he responds … you get to see him… if not… move on

LegendaryIcon · Answer

i don't really care

hey, question. I've been "doing things", with this girl, she, it's only ever been her and i with her kids, which i don't mind, but at this point, i was kind of hoping to have her to myself finally, supposedly im going to, on the 11th, if she can get her mom to sit the kids. if she does, go to this party with me on the 11th, is that considered a date?

Anonymous · Answer

Just relax and see how things play out over the next week. Thanksgiving and all probably messed with his schedule. But if you DO get a second date, make sure you make out with him!

Danny_dan92 · Answer

YOU thought it was the best date ever but he didn’t

I went on the best date ever but he hasn't really texted since, I'm not sure what to think?

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