Why is he acting this way with me PLEASE HELP?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been talking to this guy for almost 5 months, He told me he had a girlfriend for 6 years (He’s 21 years old by the way and I’m 24) and she left him and got married to another guy so he was so heart broken he really loved her…I also was really heat broken because of my ex anyway I tried my best to help him and I always was there for him and he also was there for me and we got really close, we hanged out a lot and we also hooked up a few times…after like 2 months of talking and stuff he told that he got really attached to me and he cares about me so much and that he stoped talking to all the girls he used to talk to because of me and that he’s afraid to lose me and he wishes to stay with me and he hinted to me many times that he has feelings for me and really loves me and he even told once when we hanged out “I love you” but then he suddenly changes what he said and says the complete opposite like for example “If I get married someday to someone else I’m gonna stay with you” and everytime he says something different but I swear he literally can’t go a day without talking to me he even told me that and whenever we fight over something he gets sooo afriad that I leave him and he begges me to stay with him.. I asked him I he loves me or not because He made me really confused, He said that he’s afraid to fall in love after what happend to him with his ex and and that I’m older than him and maybe I’m looking for someone else and that like he might not be really on my mind and that it has nothing to do with me but he’s just afraid of love but then he keeps acting like my boyfriend and he gets super jealous over me so why is acting this way?

Updates

+1 y

By the way he also asked me if I love him after I asked him
I told him that I do have feelings for him so He said “If you actually really want me and have feeling for you then I’ll stay with you and help you and won’t break your heart”.
I then told him I was joking because I don’t want him to be with me just because of me, I want him to be with me If he really wants to and if he really loves me and I wanted to know how he actually feels about me honestly so I pretended I was joking because of tha

[Xoxocutekitty]

He's insecure and insecure people regardless of gender will keep coming up with more left field thoughts.

The 'solution' if you will to his anxiety is to provide him reassurance. Now there are things you can promise and things you can't promise.

You can reassure him that 1) you care for him 2) you aren't a cheater 3. you want to work on the relationship together 4) you will leave if he cheats and/or isn't able to commit to working on the relationship with you.

The last one is important because it shows that you are also an active member of this 'relationship' and that he can't justify treating you poorly 'because' of anxiety or fears.

[theblacksheepcat]

The relationship/situation sounds kind of toxic and he’s putting his past issues off onto what you two have which is not fair to you. Also he’s young so his past situation could be his first heartbreak. Show him that good women do exist while he’s young because if you hurt him too he’ll grow to be a man with a lot of emotional baggage. Also, you’re young as well so you can stay and work through it with him or you can leave especially if you don’t have good intentions. He just sounds afraid which is normal but no one is obligated to take on someone’s emotional baggage. Lastly, you can politely ask him to stop viewing you in the light of his ex and view you for who you are instead. Good luck.

[Carolus]

Because he’s still on a rebound state and never gave himself time to heal. He became comfortable, he’s at the crossroads and insecure. Later when he completely heals from the previous relationship, he will fall for someone else and leave you.

[rabbitzzz]

So what happens next?