How to tell a guy you aren’t interested?

[Anonymous]

So I started talking to a guy the last few days - - seem to have similar interests. However, we haven’t met but I feel to awkward for tell him that I’m not interested because of what he has said. I understand mental health and people going through difficulty but again I don’t really know him and the conversation has turned into him just telling me all the bad things that’s happened to him.

He told me he was in a serious car accident etc and told me the injuries he had, then told me he tried to shoot himself etc. I tried to be understanding and sympathetic but he then told me about deaths in his family. Apparently, his grandad died yesterday and then he went onto say another death in his family has made him numb ever since. I genuinely sympathise with him but I feel like it’s too heavy for someone I’m just talking too. How do I gently tell him that I’m not interested?

[MrInsensitive2]

Maybe he just wanted someone to talk with but that is now a rejection you got to give him. Tell him straight out that his wanting a sympathetic ear and a friend isn't your thing and they you need people to listen to your issues so you feel better. Like this situation you are in now. If you haven't met and it's just chat just tell him you aren't there to listen or care about his problems... im so so sorry you have to go through this what a horrible person this creep is talking about himself instead of about you. You are such an awesome person you don't to deal with just being there for someone... you are so brave

[DaveJord]

There is no gentle way to tell him, you either completely ghost on him or you cut it off all together. You try to be too nice about it and he might not get the message or see it as a challenge.

Nicest way to tell is to say, " i don't think it will work out between us, it is more of me thing than a you thing." If he askes you why you tell him you don't want to get into it with him and that you hope he would respect your wishes and leave it at that.

[PrettyPriya]

That's quite a bit to take on in such a new "relationship". I would just maybe tell him that the timing isn't right as it seems he has a lot going on in his life to sort out.

[Asker]

Yeah for sure. He seemed nice in ways but it was just too much at such an early stage

[PrettyPriya]

I couldn't agree more. That is something where he probably shouldn't be getting involved with anyone until he has things sorted out. Not your fault.

[Asker]

I think he’s trying to guilt trip me just now. I politely said to him and he’s currently saying he gets shot down every time and how his grand father just passed away so I’m not really sure what to say to that

[PrettyPriya]

That is 1000% guilt trip. He is trying to use his misfortune to get you to feel bad for him and want to date or whatever. Don't fall for it, though I don't think you will as you spotted it pretty easy.

[Asker]

Yeah I won’t. I think I’m going to have to block him because now he’s saying he’s not like that anymore but considering how he made that negative comment and also said a family death makes him numb I really don’t believe him

[PrettyPriya]

I think you are making the right choice.

[SurströmmingLover]

Well, aren't women professionals at telling guys that they're not interested?
At first don't say that immediately, because taking into account his grandad's recent death will make him even more sad. You could say that an ex is interested in you again and don't want to throw the chance away, or that your classes at uni are way too time-consuming to continue talking to him.

[Asker]

Thank you - good idea

[FilmGuy93]

Yikes... yeah, I get why you aren't interested. You should probably just say it directly. Say it kindly, but decisively. "Hey, it sounds like you're going through some major life stuff, and I'm not comfortable with being in a romantic entanglement with someone that requires the kind of emotional support you need."

[SmolOrcaBoi]

Yikes. Trauma dumps suck for anyone, even if you know them well.
I might suggest he go to see a professional and say they’d be better at helping him work through stuff.

[GlassTop]

Say it exactly like you said in your title. “I think you are nice but im mot interested in a relationship tight now”.

[TrillXHippy]

Tell him that you just want to be friends, he’ll understand

[In_Trance]

say "I'm not interested"


That's it; ur done

[Subarugirl]

You say. "I am not interested"