Did he lose respect for me or is he just uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

I had posted some kind of inappropriate pictures on social media and I also sent a drunk text but I apologized to him. It obviously wasn’t for him but he ignored my apology

I’ve known him since childhood and later on he seemed to be showing interest in me but I kind of distanced myself from that because he gets a lot of female attention and they are catty over him

He just seems to avoid me but he did reach out to wish me a happy Thanksgiving and said “love you “

But when I try and start small conversation or reach out he doesn’t really respond or care

It’s kind of hurtful

[noohair]

Social media is not social or kind. There are no standard rules. What you think is rude or hurtful, he sees as ok.

[Asker]

If you could give me a clue to why you think he’s acting like that... that’s all I’m looking for

[noohair]

I am from an older generation, I see guys today acting like children, not adults. So I don't know what he is doing. He is not acting like a man, is all I can say for sure.

[Asker]

Agree!

[spartan55]

"it obviously wasn't for him" What are you talking about there?

[Asker]

I’m sorry, the drunk text I sent. It said a vulgar word but it wasn’t for him. I apologized.

[Asker]

If you could give me a clue to why you think.. that’s all I’m looking for

[spartan55]

Okay, if it was sent to him, how was the word not for him?

[Asker]

I was out of it and he had a very similar profile to the guy I was trying to send it to

[spartan55]

Out of it = drunk?

[Asker]

Yes not blacked out drunk but enough to do something like that

[Asker]

I just want to know why he’s treating me this way

[spartan55]

Apparently 'no big deal' to you, is to him.

[Asker]

But why? It wasn’t for him and I apologized

[Asker]

You always give great answers. Could you tell me why he’s acting like this

[spartan55]

I appreciate that. Can you pm please?

[Asker]

It won’t let me

[spartan55]

What did that text say? What were the inappropriate pictures?

[Asker]

The text wasn’t anything horrible but it did say fuck you

The pictures... I wasn’t naked but my boobs were out and everything like porno but no nipple. But definitely doesn’t show respect for myself

I cleaned up my act then he reached out to wish me a happy holiday and said love you

[spartan55]

Okay, so you were attacking the guy the text was supposed to go to? (by saying fuck you) are the text and social media pics connected at all?

[Asker]

No they aren’t connected at all. I sent him that message months earlier

I was honestly going through a mental breakdown and I was honestly actually out of character. He ha never ever seen me in that light. Our dads are both preachers. If anything I think he saw me as a quiet good girl until now

[spartan55]

Maybe there is something in your history that caused him to do this.

[Asker]

What do you mean history? Like something that may have happened in the past?

[spartan55]

Between you two, yes.

[Asker]

No, but... I think there actually might be..

A few years ago I think he was either trying to show interest in me or just wanted my attention I don't know. I was going through some issues back then too.

I didn’t see him often but I did end up seeing him more when I lived with my dad a few years ago. I did like him but he paid me no attention. I feel like he started to notice me because he felt like I was ignoring him but I wasn’t. I was just in my own world at the time

I don’t think he likes being ignored because he likes female attention and he gets a lot of it. He started looking at me more and being affectionate in non sexual ways. Light touch on my hand when I’m standing alone, we always hug but he hugged me closer and let it linger, ask about me when I’m gone.. just small stuff he didn’t do before. I kind of just ignored it because he strikes me as a player

Then I moved and he followed me on social and was active on my page with likes comments and watching my stories

I ended up unfollowing him because girls like him and they were starting to notice...

I think he might of thought that I hated him.. he even asked my sister why I ignore him...

That’s all I can think of

I think he was truly offended that I unfollowed him

[spartan55]

Well your reason for unfollowing him doesn't really make sense. 'because girls like him and they were starting to notice'... okay... so what?

[Asker]

I think me unfollowing him for no reason may have offended him especially since it was out of no where

He unfollowed me right back. I think it sent the message overall that I don’t want any type of communication with him or that I’m rude. Not just the Instagram thing but me being standoffish with him in the past. I think he thinks I don’t like him perhaps

[Asker]

Yes the girls are the church are very possessive over him and they like competition. My cousin who likes him messaged me saying she notices

[spartan55]

Okay, I still don't understand why that would make you push him away.
Did you ever really get to know him?

[Asker]

No, I didn’t realize I was pushing him away.. we don’t see eachother often. We live in different states so that all took place when I was with my father for a few months.

I just don’t understand why he would act like this about everything... or he could just ask me.

Does this mean he likes me or just? I don't know 🤷🏽‍♀️

[spartan55]

So that's what this all about? Ugh, geez why bother? You don't even live near each other now.

[spartan55]

He didn't like how you dropped him for a dumb reason. You don't seem to think your actions deserve any consequences for some reason.

[spartan55]

You didn't realize you were pushing him away by ignoring him and unfollowing him? Really?

[Asker]

Well our dads are very close. His dad is my dads boss. We’ve known eachother since we were 5.. it’s important to me to know

Does it mean he liked me?

[spartan55]

That's all you care about? Your ego?

[Asker]

No, I just wanted to know if that was the reason. I think he’s starting to show interest in a girl who was using me to get to him

I do like him.. always have but I don’t think he cared that I was going through something

[spartan55]

Well, why would he care when you weren't really giving him the time of day?

[spartan55]

Thanks for the MHO!

[Asker]

Because I didn’t want him to play me and everyone was saying that I’m not his type. I didn’t want to get rejected

I think we were both immature at the time (21/22)

What do you think I should do and what is your overall opinion on how he thinks or feels about me then and now

[Asker]

Also I was bullied bad by girls like that back in the day. It was a trigger for me

So I just didn’t want anything to do with it

[Asker]

You there?

[spartan55]

Yes, I was at work today.

[spartan55]

Your reason for keeping your distance because of bullying are understandable, the thing about worrying you'd be played is bogus though.

[Asker]

I’m sorry! LOL it’s my off day 😭

But overall is he acting like this because he liked me, trying to get closer to a friend or what? Is he disappointed about my pictures or what?

Why did he reach out to wish me a happy Thanksgiving a year later and say love you?

[spartan55]

You've mentioned VERY little about actual (not online) interactions between the two of you. Is it because there aren't many? It's kind of odd tbh.

[Asker]

We interacted

I mentioned he did things here and there to get closer but that’s it. It’s usually a hi and bye

[spartan55]

So, really not much then, right?

[Asker]

No, can you please just tell me what the deal is with him? Did he like me or is he disappointed or what? I’m going crazy and you give great answers

[spartan55]

The reason I ask that is if there was an extensive history of spending lots of time together etc this might be a matter of him liking you or not... but I don't see it being that tbh.

[Asker]

Then what do you see it as?

[spartan55]

That he just isn't interested.

[Asker]

So he was acting like this because he isn’t interested.. it doesn’t make sense. I haven’t even shown interest in him nor have I seen him in a minute

[spartan55]

How does it not make sense? By not interested I mean just in general. He might want to be casual friends, but nothing more.

[spartan55]

Who was that text supposed to go to?

[spartan55]

I think you meant to send it to your friend

[Asker]

Maybe I did...

[spartan55]

Who was the other guy? Or was there no other guy?

[Asker]

There wasn’t

[spartan55]

So why did you lie about that?

[spartan55]

I knew it. So, what made you send that text to him?

[Asker]

I don't know... wanting to believe it

[spartan55]

Believe what?

[spartan55]

What did the text say?

[Asker]

It said huge fuck you to you

[spartan55]

That's it? Why did you send it, did something lead up to you sending it?

[spartan55]

I don't appreciate you being deceptive and misleading, pretty sorry.

[Asker]

I didn’t mean to

I was 22 and still immature. I felt like he was just trying to lead me on and then he was starting to like my fake friend.

[spartan55]

You didn't mean to what? Lie about the whole situation?

[spartan55]

He doesn't want anything to do with you because of your conduct. You seem to think this is a problem because of how he is acting which is ridiculous.

[Asker]

Then why did he reach out to wish me a happy Thanksgiving and say “love you “

[spartan55]

That was a YEAR later you said, right? Seeing how he hasn't done anything else to reach out why would you think that him saying that was any big deal?

[spartan55]

Why do you keep minimizing/ignoring what you did? You tell him "fuck you".. then claim..."it obviously wasn't for him"..."I apologized"..."why is he acting that way"... are you really that clueless?

[Asker]

Sorry you’re right, thank you

[Asker]

So just leave the situation alone?

He was never interested? I still don’t completely understand where to go from here or what to think about it or him..

Ik my conduct was bad but I’m trying to make it right

[Anonymous]

You have to move on. He's not that into you.

[Asker]

It’s not about him being into me it’s just the fact that he’s acting like this.. someone I’ve known for a long time...

[Asker]

I really didn’t think he would care about it tbh it’s not that serious to me... I just don’t understand why he’s acting like that?

[Asker]

If you could give me a clue to why you think.. that’s all I’m looking for

[Opinion Owner]

First thing, it weirded him out that you sent a drunken text. He thinks it's a ploy to get his attention. Two, he's busy with whatever he is striving on in life. Third, he doesn't really have time to entertain your text. You have to move on. Don't read between his text. But since you guys have known each other for a long time - why not ask him directly?

[Opinion Owner]

*I meant - don't read between him not texting back

[Asker]

I can see why he might have felt that way. He showed signs of liking me in the past

But I need to move on. He’s not worth it

[Wise4myage]

You could always ask hm, but I say move to better things.

[Asker]

Nah, I’m not going to ask him. I feel like if you love someone or you’ve known them you shouldn’t act like that.

It used to bother me but can you give me a clue to why you think he’s acting like that?

[Wise4myage]

It appears he's lost interests in you?

[Asker]

So maybe he really was interested for him to act like this?

[Wise4myage]

Sure, that's possible.

[Asker]

But if you really loved someone you wouldn’t act like that even if you messed up in life?

[Asker]

Can you be more clear?

[Wise4myage]

Sorry, I've said all I can.

[Asker]

... thnx