What are the signs that guy sees me just as an option?

[Anonymous]

What would be the giveaway cues that a guy sees a girl just as an option?

[LaNc3L0TT]

Maybe you two should openly talk about your situations and goals, either to stay as friends or something more.

[Asker]

by the way what do you think about this. Am I overreacting?

I don't know if this a red flag. We often have back and forth chats where he often replies promptly to me. Sometimes our conversation continues the next day (either because me or him fell asleep in the evening). The next day his replies can be delayed. He has sometimes replied to my text after 22 hours. Like for an example I sent him a message 10am ( I replies to his earlier text that he sent me in the evening). Then he replied to that 2 hours later at 12am. . Then I replied to him 5pm. He then left me delivered and replied the next day 2pm. Tbh we were just small talking and it wasn’t about anything serious but it was annoying.

We initiate both conversations and it’s 50/50 on who starts the conversation.

[RawIronhide]

You're not? He's an option isn't he?

[Asker]

He’s not an option to me.

[Asker]

But I’m afraid that I’m to him…

[RawIronhide]

You're not interested in dating anyone but him?

[RawIronhide]

No friends or contacts looking to smash?

[Asker]

No, I’m really interested in him.

[RawIronhide]

Oh well that's sweet I think. It all comes down to him making you a priority. If he's blowing you off that's a sure sigh. If it's a pattern. Lots of guys value a girls undivided attention so keep that attitude it's rare these days.

[Asker]

I don't know if this a red flag. He often have back and forth chats where he often replies promptly to mr. Sometimes our conversation continues the next day (either because I or him fell asleep in the evening). Then his replies can be delayed. He has sometimes replied to my text after 22 hours. Like for an example I sent him a message 10am. Then he replied to that 2 hours later at 12am. . Then I replied to him 5pm. He then left me delivered and replied the next day 2pm. Tbh we were just small talking and it wasn’t about anything serious.

We initiate both conversations and it’s 50/50 on who starts the conversation.

[RawIronhide]

Well messageing frequency is a bad way to predict, sometimes people are just busy or tired based on what you've said I sense no sign of split focus.

[Asker]

Even if he replied 22 hours later?

[RawIronhide]

Yeah, don't assume anything. He could be busy or sick or depressed or whatever, just be patient. If he is interested you should know.

[Asker]

I assume he’s interested since we’ve exchanged numbers and he asked me out for coffee

[RawIronhide]

Exactly, that's a fair assumption. A good sign for sure. So just go with it. Don't try to make much els out of it right now.

[Asker]

One more thing. He asked me out After I hinted that I want to take things off the app. At that point we were chatting on instagram sporadically for months.. why?

[RawIronhide]

I don't know maybe it just happened that way. I can say that my intentions are to move off dating apps even to another message board just because dating apps are designed to suck girls in tbh. There's a high likelihood she just disappears if she's on a dating app too long. So I'd rather chat anywhere else of face to face.