He’s cheating but what is he thinking?

[Anonymous]

There’s a guy I’ve been sleeping with. He’s got a girlfriend (I know it’s bad, the question isn’t on morals and stuff). We’ve known each other years through work, we always had banter and a flirt like friendship. He kissed me once and it has gone from there. He asked to kiss me. We slept together and I thought it may just be sex and that’s it but it’s continued for 6/7 months. We work together and he always seems to want attention (we both do) but we make out a lot at work on our breaks and stuff. But I don’t know what this is. It’s not just a sex and leave me it is full on and continuous. Could he have feelings? Why wouldn’t he have stopped by now? He’s also started doing things like flirting more openly at work. Had to sign a birthday card and he said put from me ans you. So a colleague commented that it would look like we were a couple. And when I joked about it he said well we already do because our job has always coincidentally made us move locations together. I just don’t know what this behaviour means

[Nawlins34]

First and foremost.

1.) Why is he cheating and if you don't know, why hasn't he shared that with you?

In my opinion, there are two types of cheaters when it comes to men.

a.) Need - this guy is cheating only to supplement what he doesn't have in his relationship/marriage. The other woman specifically provides what is missing. If he knew for a fact he could get it in his relationship/marriage, he would've never cheated. But he's not bold and forward enough to just end the relationship/marriage and go get what he wants. He compromised too much.

b.) Greed - this guy will never stop cheating. You can be everything he ever wanted in a woman, he still cheats.

If the guy you're dealing with is a? AND he's reached equilibrium between you and his girlfriend? He has no reason to change anything.

Don't let the non-sexual stuff fool you into thinking it is more. He's just getting more comfortable. But your role hasn't evolved.

He's not doing it because he has feelings, he's doing it because you allow it.
If he had "feelings" of any value, he wouldn't cheat on his girlfriend.

How do I know? Because he hasn't left her (at least you haven't provided that info, we can only go off of what you provided).

Her presence means he knows there's something she provides that you can't give.

This man is cheating on his girlfriend with another woman is there are no complaints.

THAT'S what he's thinking.

Even if he gets rid of the girlfriend, you're not safe. He just gave you a proven track record of if he's not happy in a relationship he won't be honest and end the relationship or try and work it out: he'll find a side woman.

Be safe and good luck

[spartan55]

The behavior means that he is fucking you as his side chick. He is thinking about pounding out his girlfriend and then drilling his side work slut the same day. If you think that this will change, I have some swampland in Florida to sell you.
I really hope you experience how getting cheated on feels someday. You are gross.

[Guy13]

Got the wifey material in one and hotty in the other. If he/she does it for you he/she will do it to you. No chance for Trust to flourish. He’s drunk in the game and fantasy life.

[TenkRealist]

Did you know he had a girlfriend and you still slept with him?