I don’t get him?

[Anonymous]

I don’t get this guy? He pursued me for two months before I showed any interest. He likes that I like him, and we keep talking. I then ask about a commitment and he says he’s not ready. I ignore, and he starts chasing again. After months, he then asks me if I still like him, only to tell me he’s not ready yet again. Why is he stringing me along? He acts shy and nervous around me? Is that because of sexual attraction or feelings? He works super hard to get my attention, and yet has the balls to tell me he isn’t ready a second time? I feel so stupid because he is the one pursuing me to reject me, why the fuck does he do that?

[kylee2437]

Why bother to care? If he isn’t ready for commitment and what you want is commitment, you simply leave him alone. You can’t force someone to want that. You need to come to terms that men will be persistent to get what they want. It’s your job to set boundaries and move on if he isn’t open to giving you what you want

[Asker]

But when he told me that I told him ok I’m moving on. Yet he still acts nervous around me? Why?

[kylee2437]

@asker him acting nervous shouldn’t matter when his intentions don’t match what you want clearly. No need to be curious about him

[Jamie05rhs]

What Kylee said.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he wants to date you but wants to take things slow.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Could you elaborate when you say 'pursued you?" The reason I ask is because there are different forms of pursuit.
Checking on you to see if you're ok. and just wanting to talk,,, OR Chasing you wanting more.

Is it possible you merely misread the signs?

[Asker]

He would stare, find excuse’s to talk, he’d touch me, get closer to me. He got shy and nervous. I knew he liked me physically. And then he asked for my Snapchat and started flirting with me over text. I confronted him after all of this

[Asker]

Then he told me he wasn’t ready but maybe in the future and apologised for flirting with me

[Asker]

He’d compliment me on my looks, body etc I’m pretty sure I didn’t misread especially when he is apologising for doing so

[TommyMountainFigure]

No I don't think you misread anything either, but I had to ask.

From what I know about him then, it's as if he enjoys keeping you hanging on a string.

[Asker]

Is it so that in case he ever feels like he needs someone (when he is ready) he has me to fall on?

[TommyMountainFigure]

That's EXACTLY how I see it

[TommyMountainFigure]

But I don't know if he takes enjoyment from seeing you hanging there. OR whether he is just too shy to take the plunge and ask you on a date or something. That I'm afraid is impossible for me to judge without talking to him.

[Asker]

I called him out and blocked his ass. Told him is he didn’t want a serious relationship I wasn’t the girl to mess with. Let’s see if he chases… if not his loss

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm not sure that will tell you anything though.. According to you, the further you push him away, the more he chases after you.

[Asker]

But I’m done with that cycle of push and pull. Lord knows what he wants. He is most likely emotionally unavailable, but likes me attention. He is only physically attracted to me I think

[TommyMountainFigure]

The more I think about it, the more I think he just enjoys chasing after you and being turned down. He sees you as a game.. a challenge.

[Asker]

What? Hahaha might as well just insert me into his PS5

[TommyMountainFigure]

The more I read about him. the more I come to that conclusion though. He chases after you. Makes you feel all good about yourself and then backs away. not once but twice. I get that he might be shy.. but you covered that when you said he touched you... Why then would he go shy? That makes no sense.. You ask any of the guys who are shy on here if they could touch a woman.. and THEN be to scared t go on a date with her.. they would be too scared to touch her. so that leads me to the conclusion.. he isn't shy he's playing games.

[Asker]

He wasn’t shy as soon as he knew I reciprocated to his interest. In the beginning when he met me he was super shy and nervous. Couldn’t even hold eye contact

[TommyMountainFigure]

"He would stare, find excuse’s to talk, he’d touch me, get closer to me. He got shy and nervous." <<< I was referring to that.

[Asker]

He was shy at first, and started touching when I showed interest back. I figured it was she cause he felt it was safer to touch me now that I liked him back?

[Asker]

He literally runs for the hills as soon as I mention a relationship

[TommyMountainFigure]

I think that is what you need to do then.. Next time he runs to the hills? Make him a sandwich and tell him to keep on running!

[Asker]

Hahahaha amen!

[Anonymous]

He's probably emotionally unavailable and loves the feeling of validation he gets when you show interest.

https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/my-books/mr-unavailable-and-the-fallback-girl-book-one/

[Asker]

But can emotionally unavailable guys ever like a girl truly? Or is it like impossible?

[Asker]

And why did he approach me to begin with? Like before I liked him?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes they can. They can love a girl too but they will not be able to be with her. Not all emotionally unavailable men have the introspection to recognize what they are. Hence him approaching you. Also, there is a possibility that the woman that falls for such a guy is also similarly emotionally unavailable.

[Asker]

Hmmm interesting 🧐 I thought it was mainly sexual attraction…..

[Anonymous]

Go back to the beginning "he pursued me for 2 months before I showed any interest". Well that's your story not his. He was never interested to begin with or you set the tone by ignoring him for 2 months. Are you really that arrogant?

[Asker]

He was interested and I never ignored him, I wasn’t into him physically. But we got to talk and I started liking him, and then he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He later apologised for flirting with me and leading me on. But then he came back

[Opinion Owner]

OK, I tried to help. Talking to you is like talking g to a bowl of oatmeal... pointless.

[123LISA]

Maybe he likes to play that way it's a character thing... or he is scared to tie maybe thinking he will lose he's freedom perhaps?

[Asker]

@123LISA He is not ready to give up his freedom just yet