Any guys on here get into PUA and did it change or improve your life in any meaningful way?

Question

I don't feel like writing my story on this but if I had to vote on this - it would be E.

No / don't know what you're talking about, what's PUA?

Yes, it helped improve my life

Yes but it didn't really change anything

Yes BUT it had negative effects on my thinking and I behaved like an idiot because of it

A combination of B, C and D

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

exitseven | 1.3K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Yes I collected Pandemic Unemployment Assistance for 18 months while I was laid off. It was a big help.

React

Asker

2 mo
Okay, so how did PUA improve your life?

Reply
exitseven

2 mo
I was able to pay all my bills despite not having a job. I actually fixed a lot of things in my house that I never had time to do so that was a help too.

Reply
Asker

2 mo
What does that have to do with PUA though?

Reply
Show All Show Less
Asker

2 mo
Lol nice that went right over my head at 1st haha

Reply

Answer 2

Asker

Okay, so how did PUA improve your life?

Answer 3

exitseven

I was able to pay all my bills despite not having a job. I actually fixed a lot of things in my house that I never had time to do so that was a help too.

Answer 4

Asker

What does that have to do with PUA though?

Answer 5

Asker

Lol nice that went right over my head at 1st haha

Answer 6

MoniqueTLC

Xper 5

The RIGHT PUA can be really beneficial if they're ethical about it and help you understand that it's more than just approaching a woman. I know some people that have turned their whole lives around because they invested in the right coach. Definitely worth it when done right

React

Asker

1 mo
For real, who are these people and who were their coaches?

Reply
MoniqueTLC

1 mo
Close friends of mine, I can't direct message you but are you looking to get into touch with a PUA or are you just curious?

Reply
Asker

1 mo
I'm just very sceptical of PUA in general... I got into it in 2016 after getting played by two different girls at the same time and one in particular almost destroyed a friendship with one of my closest friends (TBH, my friendship has never been the same since with that person).

There's a lot scammers & frauds within the PUA community and the attention to detail and advice needed is so drastically different from person to person so it makes the generic advice given rather useless in most cases, also the amount of pseudoscience said & shared in that community is dangerous & laughable at best for both guys involved and the women they are trying to pick up.

Any of the successes I've had with women came purely from when I would just act on my own accord & intuition rather than trying to implement their tactics... but yeah I don't know, I feel like I'm back where I started when it comes to dating so what would you suggest?

Reply
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MoniqueTLC

1 mo
100% agree with you, most of the PUA community do not cater for guys individual needs. If you take a look at someone like Bobby Rio (who's established and well-known), his YouTube videos don't really provide a guy with any underlying support. It's pretty much like 'you need to be confident, go approach her this way etc.)
Being your authentic self is always the best way to be in dating but this can sometimes be difficult if a person has self-doubt, or worried about how the outcome is going to be.
How do you feel you're at the start again? Are you struggling speaking to ladies or is just a mindset thing? I do have a suggestion, but just need to understand where you're at :)

Reply
Asker

1 mo
What I mean by "I feel like I'm back where I started" is this...

I feel like I wasted my time, that I acted like a fool & unlike myself at times with certain individuals with both guys and girls because those PUA tactics & behaviour traits ended up altering other aspects of my life. Sure there were things that I learned, that helped me (more so when it came to being brave with art & performing music live & dealing with people & circumstances) BUT that wasn't PUA, that was entry level self help affirmations that RSD was preaching before they went full Tony Robbins and ditched dating advice (probably to avoid cancel culture again and continue their grift in a different format).

If I could back in time I would have just been my authentic self and worked on improving what I lacked INSTEAD of behaving like some sort of caricature/wasting time, what I needed to know was that things are pretty random & arbitrary, yeah sure there are things that can improve your odds when it comes to attraction, sex & love BUT there is only so much YOU as an unique individual can do for yourself and who is it to say what that is... the best things I can do is to put forth a solid & genuine effort and go from there, make changes based on what changes need to be made, etc.

I also felt like a lamb being sent out to slaughter because I was so inexperienced & unaware of how awful some women could be, I just found myself being played & fucked with (and not in a good way) because I had a poor sense of boundaries, I saw some major ugliness in women that's left a taste in my mouth that I've never been able to washout.

I also feel back where I started because 95% of the things I learned in PUA & the manosphere was bullshit & I feel like ever since late 2019 I've been trying to forget & rid myself of that nonsense to go back to who I was.

Reply
Asker

1 mo
Talking to women isn't hard, getting numbers isn't hard BUT trying to find a meaningful connection with a woman is hard, trying to meet someone I genuinely find physically & mentally attractive is hard, actually meeting someone like that who likes me back is hard, not being weighed down and jaded/pessimistic because of the shitty experiences is hard... that's a brief summary of what I mean by that.

Reply

Answer 7

Asker

For real, who are these people and who were their coaches?

Answer 8

MoniqueTLC

Close friends of mine, I can't direct message you but are you looking to get into touch with a PUA or are you just curious?

Answer 9

Asker

I'm just very sceptical of PUA in general... I got into it in 2016 after getting played by two different girls at the same time and one in particular almost destroyed a friendship with one of my closest friends (TBH, my friendship has never been the same since with that person).

There's a lot scammers & frauds within the PUA community and the attention to detail and advice needed is so drastically different from person to person so it makes the generic advice given rather useless in most cases, also the amount of pseudoscience said & shared in that community is dangerous & laughable at best for both guys involved and the women they are trying to pick up.

Any of the successes I've had with women came purely from when I would just act on my own accord & intuition rather than trying to implement their tactics... but yeah I don't know, I feel like I'm back where I started when it comes to dating so what would you suggest?

Answer 10

MoniqueTLC

100% agree with you, most of the PUA community do not cater for guys individual needs. If you take a look at someone like Bobby Rio (who's established and well-known), his YouTube videos don't really provide a guy with any underlying support. It's pretty much like 'you need to be confident, go approach her this way etc.)
Being your authentic self is always the best way to be in dating but this can sometimes be difficult if a person has self-doubt, or worried about how the outcome is going to be.
How do you feel you're at the start again? Are you struggling speaking to ladies or is just a mindset thing? I do have a suggestion, but just need to understand where you're at :)

Answer 11

Asker

What I mean by "I feel like I'm back where I started" is this...

I feel like I wasted my time, that I acted like a fool & unlike myself at times with certain individuals with both guys and girls because those PUA tactics & behaviour traits ended up altering other aspects of my life. Sure there were things that I learned, that helped me (more so when it came to being brave with art & performing music live & dealing with people & circumstances) BUT that wasn't PUA, that was entry level self help affirmations that RSD was preaching before they went full Tony Robbins and ditched dating advice (probably to avoid cancel culture again and continue their grift in a different format).

If I could back in time I would have just been my authentic self and worked on improving what I lacked INSTEAD of behaving like some sort of caricature/wasting time, what I needed to know was that things are pretty random & arbitrary, yeah sure there are things that can improve your odds when it comes to attraction, sex & love BUT there is only so much YOU as an unique individual can do for yourself and who is it to say what that is... the best things I can do is to put forth a solid & genuine effort and go from there, make changes based on what changes need to be made, etc.

I also felt like a lamb being sent out to slaughter because I was so inexperienced & unaware of how awful some women could be, I just found myself being played & fucked with (and not in a good way) because I had a poor sense of boundaries, I saw some major ugliness in women that's left a taste in my mouth that I've never been able to washout.

I also feel back where I started because 95% of the things I learned in PUA & the manosphere was bullshit & I feel like ever since late 2019 I've been trying to forget & rid myself of that nonsense to go back to who I was.

Answer 12

Asker

Talking to women isn't hard, getting numbers isn't hard BUT trying to find a meaningful connection with a woman is hard, trying to meet someone I genuinely find physically & mentally attractive is hard, actually meeting someone like that who likes me back is hard, not being weighed down and jaded/pessimistic because of the shitty experiences is hard... that's a brief summary of what I mean by that.

Any guys on here get into PUA and did it change or improve your life in any meaningful way?

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