Why would he want to be friends with me if he doesn't see me in a romantic way?

[Alwayreckles93]

So some of you know my childhood crush Juan Longoria. Juan Longoria wants to be friends with me but he no longer sees me as in a romantic way as I am no longer young to him I once was a decade ago. He wants a younger wife. And he really did hurt me really bad not his fault as I did tough I had a chance with him as we are intellectual compatible we are almost the same age I am 29 he is 30 and did had hopes. But of course I look way different from way back when I was in highschool. He told me that he doesn't feel strong connection to me or anything in a romantic way just and only a friendship. Why I am financially stable I own a home that will be paid of in two years I have a good paying job. Why even bother keeping contact with Juan all he wants is a friendship from me. He did hurt me really bad.

[RealMarek]

I think you would do well to move on. Some guys pursue younger women. Some don’t. You will have a better chance of attracting a good man if you find greater contentment with your life. I know it’s difficult being a hard-working single mom and it’s unfair that your ex cheated on you and treated you poorly. Try to be kind to yourself. Try to set aside at least one time a week to do something you enjoy with the kids, on your own, or even as simple as a relaxing bath. It can take time after a bad relationship ends to find contentment and recover those aspects of yourself that were suppressed for years. My experience is that it is entirely possible, it just takes patience. I really believe that finding contentment and peace of mind despite being alone can help increase the odds of attracting a good man.

[Alwayreckles93]

Your absolutely right Sir. I had forgotten myself literally. I've so focus on my kids work. I need to snap out of this whole Juan Longoria thing. Good thing is he lives at a different state.

[Alwayreckles93]

I will admit Sir, At times I do feel lonely. I mean it gets lonely at times.

[RealMarek]

The loneliness can be difficult. If you have a good friend or two now is a good time to reach out to her/them: Now that you have clarity about Juan, you will gradually think of him less and less. It seems impossible now but i bet a year from now he won’t be on your mind nearly as much. And that letting go, as well as time passing after your divorce, will help you be ready for a relationship again.

[Alwayreckles93]

Thank you Sir, Yes it is hard. But I will just let it happen and not forced things so much. I just feel old.

[RealMarek]

@alwayreckles93, you have been through a lot. You are not old. Exhausted is more like it. Just be kind to yourself and you’ll start feeling young again. You’re only in your 20s... time is on your side.

[Alwayreckles93]

Thank you Sir. I'm 29 I will be 30 next year.

[Alwayreckles93]

I'm not even sure when was the last time I felt happy.

[RealMarek]

It would be good for you to try to remember the last time you felt young and the last time you felt happy. I bet both of those feelings ended not long after you met your ex or after he started treating you badly. Maybe there is a connection? Now is a good time to focus on why you feel the way you feel and try to find out where you lost parts of your old self. I went through this sort of thing after I left a toxic relationship.

[Alwayreckles93]

You made me open my eyes. Yes you are right I didn't even realize that about myself

[Alwayreckles93]

Sir I've always blame my self on my ADHD condition about my divorce. How long did it take you to find someone new if you don't mind me asking?

[RealMarek]

I’m guessing you were probably made to feel like a lot of things were your fault. A manipulative partner will know your insecurities and make you think that your shortcomings are to blame for everything.

It took me about four years before I felt ready (there were other problems besides the divorce, I can explain more via DM if you like). Once I started looking for a new relationship I found her within weeks.

[Alwayreckles93]

Yes Sir feel free to do so on message. I must admit I do put other people first before myself. Wow I bet you must have been threw a lot. You are a survivor dealing with a narcissist.

[big_ben_007]

Sometimes you can't have your cake and eat it too. You'll meet another great guy someday. He's out there and he'll love your appearance more than your friend does 👌

[Alwayreckles93]

Well I am divorce 29 year old I feel self conscious about my looks. It's a long story the thing is I been crushing on Juan ever since 5 grade.

[big_ben_007]

No one can clearly see into the future, but you have to believe that the right man is out there for u. Never give up hope. Every woman is born with beauty and i firmly believe that. Do you want an honest and positive opinion on your looks?

[Alwayreckles93]

Well I already know I'm old I'll be 30 next year.

[big_ben_007]

Thats all? If u aren't 60 and retired you aren't old at all 😅 you probably don't spend enough time doing young things because of work and responsibilities. When was the last time you went bar hopping with a good friend?

[Alwayreckles93]

Oh sorry I don't drink lol I ma more of a coffee person. I was married to a Mormon guy and so I never had the chance really lol

[Alwayreckles93]

I do work long hours.

[big_ben_007]

A mormon guy huh? Was it fun being with him? Or was it more mature and religious maybe?

I dont believe that getting drunk is a fun thing to do so I've never done it. I've refrained from drinking alcohol all my life till i turned 26. I went to a few bars with a friend, i had 4 beers and then i realized how wound up with stress i had been because i loosened up a lot. I was more friendly and not so shy and quiet after a few drinks you know? I haven't had that many in a day since then. my limit is 2. I dont need any more than 2 drinks after a long hot day. But thats how i cope with stress because i dont manage my stress very well.

[big_ben_007]

I think i was 23 or 24 when a couple kids asked me to take them to a trampoline center in the city. They begged and begged and paid me gas money so i took all 4 of them. They made me come in with them and i had so much fun that i realized i rarely do young things anymore. That day i felt 16 years old and I'll never forget it 😆 cuz i was super sore the next day

[Alwayreckles93]

Yes I see what you mean. I have forgot when was the last time I felt young. I haven't had fun in years. I am divorce work and mom.

[Alwayreckles93]

No it wasn't fun at all being married to a Mormon guy he was always about him my opinion thoughts never matter it was always his ways and about him. My ex got involved in scamway and cheated on me with his upline it's a long story. He was a little narcissist. You know you just made me realize something that we get so focus on something that we forget to have fun. Would you go on that trampoline again?

[Alwayreckles93]

And no I haven't been drinking lol

[Alwayreckles93]

Honestly I don't even know who I am or recognized myself any more. I was young I would say maybe 18-21 the last time I had fun lol.

[Alwayreckles93]

Maybe 2012 last time I had fun it was at VANZ Wourped Tour I went to see a lot rock bands with my back then friends yeah I am starting to refresh the good old times lol it was Sleeping with Sirens that was playing and Falling in Reverse , All time low yeah I had a blast that was the last time I enjoy myself.

[Alwayreckles93]

I was 18 or 19 back in 2012.

[big_ben_007]

I've changed so much in 6 years its not even funny 😐. Back in 2016 i just bought my first truck and i was going to the movie theater every single week. Sometimes twice a week or more. I was going to the park often, riding my bike often, trying to take girls out, meeting new people, i was a lot more social and outgoing... But all that changed 2 years ago. I still go out and have fun but its a lot less often

[big_ben_007]

I dont go out unless I'm going out with a friend. So no, i wouldn't go to the trampoline place by myself. Would i go with the boys? Yes.

[big_ben_007]

Thanks for picking my answer as helpful 👌👌👌

[OlderAndWiser]

Follow your heart. If you don't want him as a friend, then don't include him in your life.

Why does your profile say you are 21 if you are really 29?

[Alwayreckles93]

This site is crazy I must have press a number by accident. Other then that thank you for your kind words. Yes you are right. I blocked him and it is best to not know nothing un order for me to not get hurt. He lives in a different state which is good I won't come across him.

[RuthlessAggression]

Ha! You basically just asked "can guys and girls be "just friends""

And the answer of course is, no. As "just friends", doesn't make sense, right? How can someone be "just friends" with someone. And yes, I'm stressing the fact that there QUOTES around that

[TrueConfection]

I thought you said he's engaged to be married?

[Alwayreckles93]

He is to much younger woman. I need to stop over thinking.

[Alwayreckles93]

We were never in a relationship. He has been my childhood crush. I need to control my emotions which is hard.

[Alwayreckles93]

I don't understand why wouldn't he wants someone closer to his age.

[TrueConfection]

You shouldn't talk to him. If he wants to be friends with you, he's not being loyal to his fiance.

[Alwayreckles93]

Yes you are absolutely correct it isn't right. He lives in a different state so I have nothing to do with him. We were never in a relationship. There is no rush in finding a guy. It can be lonely at times.

[TrueConfection]

Yes, I understand. Just try and keep in mind that being with the wrong person can still be lonely.

[Alwayreckles93]

Yes you are absolutely correct. It could of been worst.

[007kingifrit]

i don't know wtf is going on here but men are NEVER interested in just friendship with women. he might just want to use you

[Alwayreckles93]

Interesting when man your age just want to date younger woman that can't even cook you a nutritious meal. Woman my age we are better we clean , cook and we are well financially stable. I don't understand what man your age see in a 21 year old?

[007kingifrit]

i dunno what you mean, i would probably not date a woman younger than 21, what country are you from?

[Alwayreckles93]

The U. S. wow seriously 21? You could of at least say 28!

[Alwayreckles93]

I am not jelous of younger woman but I do look way better then a 21 year old I'm 29.

[007kingifrit]

your profile says you're 21...

[Alwayreckles93]

Im actually 29 . I know this site can be crazy at times.

[007kingifrit]

oh that's why i was confused you should fix it

[Alwayreckles93]

How do I do that?

[007kingifrit]

in your profile there should be buttons to change it, edit profile i think it says

[Alwayreckles93]

Sorry I have ADHD do you mind sending me an instruction list it's hard for my brain to retain information.