There is a guy at the gym that I see everyday. Many times I caught this guy looking at me, my way and checking me out. I greeted him a few times to try getting close to him but the guy either pretended he didn’t see me or was avoiding me (except one time he smiled back). He got me very intrigued and now this guy is avoiding me, avoiding eye contact and turning his back on me when he see me pass by. So why, why men tend to do this?
Some guys have a guilt reflex at being caught having evil thoughts with regard to a girl's body. A friend used to perv through the back of his head. He'd say 'Don't look now but there is a gorgeous girl behind us'. I'd be swizzling my head 'Where where' not wanting to miss out on something beautiful and he would get embarrassed at my crude lechery.
It is certain that he LIKES you I would say but it does mean he has some growing up to do. But then Elon Musk says he gets shy over AOC.
You say you are intrigued. What to do?
You could grab him by the throat and say "Look at moii. Look at moii". Sorry that only applies if you are in the classic Australian sit com Kath and Kim. Would be a great scene though and doubtless end in a date.
Probably you need more subtle girl advice here but in the spirit of running ideas up the flagpole and bad ideas often generate good ones...
A friend who worked with me in an office tower had the simple strategy at waving briefly in passing at girls he liked the look of. Eventually they assumed they knew him some how and it broke the ice. Don't see why that wouldn't work in reverse.
Or you could replace his guilt of having lustful thoughts about you with guilt at being rude by walking up to him and asking "Why are you ignoring me?".
As I said you probably need more subtle girl advice.
Bear in mind, that in these more feminist days,, guys are now expecting girls to runaway screaming if we say "Hello".
Sorry about the Kath and Kim joke but I couldn't help myself. Youtube it. .
Well the point that I was going for was that if he's hot then I'd have no idea and I would've left it at that. Otherwise I'd assume he's shy, maybe coupled with an idea that it's rude to stare, and/or that women don't like it. Or maybe he has a special someone already and don't want to get to know any other women.
There’re many possibilities: 1- he likes you and he’s shy 2-he doesn’t like you 3-he wants to play with your emotions 4-he wants to make you understand he isn’t in to you . . . So, don’t think about him a lot, *maybe* there’s something about you in his taught and feeling, so you’ll find out it over time. Be patient Trying to understand it soon can be harmful
This is me almost always. Cuz some of the guys are shy , do not want to be misunderstood , not to disturb someone especially the opposite gender , maybe they are married , engaged or etc. There can be so many reasons for it and it is extremely normal. Everyone is different. Even we all know the eye contact is so important in speaking to someone , some of us cannot do it due to character , personality or so on. I am waiter in a restaurant and have a difficulty for this , and several workmates of mine thinks it is so ridiculuous and try to encourage me. I do not know I think it depends on the person.
It is a habbit I have but if I get a bit agitated or angry I make eye contact but some girls can almost strangle me with there stunning eyes its hard to explain but I always get this weird feeling inside when a attractive girl makes eye contact with me its usually intense l
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Asker
+1 y
I’m really sorry to hear that. Unfortunately most beautiful women lack humbleness and understanding of men’s nature, because men are visual. There is women like me who prefer eye contact because that tells us we have the attention of the person we like.
Well this could mean a whole lot of things, but in general when eye contact is avoided it's either because they don't want to interact on a personal level, or they are reclusive. As someone who is an extreme introvert, I only make eye contact with people I have a genuine interest in. Of course I exchange glances, smiles, and small expressions like everyone else. I would say the person was shy, but if that were the case you would sense some awkwardness from him. So chances are he either has no interest, or just doesn't like talking in general
I read somewhere (ya still looking for it, I was going to comment hours ago) That the level of dopamine in the brain has a direct correlation to eye contact and social skills. It highlighted that men have far less of this hormone then women. Only men with high levels of dopamine can look a stranger directly in the eye. I find that I can do this but I feel it burning off very rapidly. I have watched the expressions of women I talk to turn to delight and the eyes soften with a compassionate warmth. And men either turn away, get aggressive, or.. I can only describe it as diminish. There are a few that can hold eye contact as well. Still without the conscious effort I keep catching myself turning away. Even at that instant I am asking how are they doing. I completely understand why women ask this question. And please don't feel its that anyone of us is insincere. Its just that lack of the same level of dopamine you possess in fountains.
Because we aren't supposed to show our interest and make you uncomfortable. Especially at a gym. Mostly I'll assume you're there to work out, not get started at.
Though if you I triduced yourself, that's enough of an icebreaker for me, and I would feel more comfortable.
Though people in general avoid eye contact with men. Norah Vincent lived as Ned Vincent for several months. She said this was one of the most striking differences living as a man. People were significantly less friendly and more down-to-business, and you very rarely get eye contact.
I know several girls who would dream of this sort of thing. As a guy, it wears you down a bit. You get used to the idea that people aren't supposed to interact, and that people don't want you interacting with them. So it could be some shyness induced by this effect.
Men have a legitimate concern not to come off as predatorial. Because if you claim harassment no one will believe him. So he plays it safe, if you want to interact with him you gotta make the effort of letting him know that maybe chat with him, be friendly around him once he gets the message he'll make an effort
Maybe it’s the setting your guys are in? Perhaps he just doesn’t want to come off as a creep towards you. If anything I’d just strike up a conversation with him at the gym a couple of times and ask him out! I’m sure he’d say yes.
In my opinion he’s nervous or he just doesn’t want to come off as a creep like I said
Can you please answer my most recent question?
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
He's not confident in what's going on plain and simple Based on the way you described it he wants you to know he's not interested. Now I don't know if that's because he's not interested and is making sure he makes sure he doesn't encourage you. Or if he does has interest and doesn't want to divulge his feelings. It seems like it's the former rather than the latter though. Be careful you're not creating a narrative in your headbecause you want it to be.
I don't know but it seems he thinks you are out of his league and doesn't think you will be interested in him. He may also be intimidated by you and so gets nervous and shy.
It can be a multitude of psychology/social reasons, he could be hurt from the last woman he loved and is afraid to be hurt again, he could potentially be trying to abide by the rules of the gym to try to make you feel more comfortable, he could have no self confidence, or just depressed, but just show your own stride, and ask him a question that'll show who he is within a couple of sentences.
Lack of self confidence. Maybe the guy just doesn't really want to talk with you? People are unique. If you want to know why someone is doing something, your best bet really is to ask the person directly.
Men who avoid eye contact are either shy, or, are lying and can't keep a straight face, especially with their eyes on you. That's a BIG tell. If they're lying, a lot of men have a hard time looking you in the eyes while doing so
Unless the girl in question finds the man in question "hot" it could be considered creepy. In this society could even be labeled sexual harassment. Clown world.
He liked looking at you from afar but now that your getting close he knows you might be intsrested and he wasn't thinking you would be so mow he has to summon the courage to talk to you one day
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
If you're in 30s shyness is less common but could be brought out if combined with stresses such as at work.
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