He doesn't want a relationship?

[Anonymous]

He always looks at me, stalks my social media, and recently saw on his instagram account him wearing a leather jacket that looks like the one i wore when we saw each other. That one day when i saw him his eyes were always set on me when i turned around so he doesn't look at me anymore because i was shy he looked away too then 3 min later he was looking at me again he didn't want to stop. But despite all that he doesn't want a relationship why? And second, why he always looks at me?

[Anonymous]

Some of these situations you presented could arguably be matters of coincidence or you over analyzing his gestures, and I’m not saying that to offend you. I just think it is a very fair point to consider because one thing I know for sure is if a guy is as into you as you seem to be perceiving, then there’s no way he wouldn’t be with you. He wouldn’t risk losing an opportunity with you or having to see another man with you, and that’s facts. I’m not sure what your active relationship with him is, like if you two are hooking up or maybe the potential for that to happen is in the cards. But all I’m really getting from your description is him feeling lustful at most. Of course all we can really do on here is speculate, and I don’t think any reasoning that doesn’t come from his own mouth will really satisfy you, because there will keep being elements of “why this” or “why that” in your mind, since it’s not him explaining and just you trying to make sense of his stance. So the best I could suggest would be simply accepting that he either isn’t into you in that way or just doesn’t want to commit. From there, you either keep the dynamic you two currently have, or set some boundaries so that you can get over your feelings for him and move on.

[Asker]

I'm def not over analyzing his gestures or anything like that. I also want to say, he's a lot older than me (59) and one of his friends said to me that he said he doesn't have much time for a girl right now and that he thinks no girl want him he meet me at that time sees I like him, find him attractive

[Asker]

I also drove to his city on Friday (didn't tell him im coming, wanted to surprise him) then when was there i found out he flew to another country had to take care of something) i texted him on insta saying i came to see him he was upset

[Opinion Owner]

So this is a friend who told you he doesn’t want a relationship, or he’s the one who said it? Maybe time and whatever is a motive, but I’d rather hear it from the horses mouth than a loose interpretation from the middle man, I. E the friend. But even if you believe you aren’t over analyzing, the point is still there. I know for a fact that the right woman (or man if the roles are switched) will make an unready person, get ready. If you’re correct and there’s such strong interest, I don’t believe he would let you get away, and I can only say that because I’ve both seen and experienced this. At 59, if he’s not ready for you now then he’s never going to be, so I wouldn’t invest time in the “what if’s” of his logic and actions. You’d be better served turning your focus to someone who’s both available and interested. No game playing or confusion, just a genuine connection.

[spartan55]

So if he looks at you and wears a girls leather jacket that means he should want a relationship?

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a real weirdo.

[baserunner611]

He lost no your