He no longer wants a relationship?

[Sanzm]

We met through the internet, he wanted a relationship and I refused because I was not interested in him, after we met I like him and we met a lot and had sex a lot and we stayed together for long days at home, going out together , meet his friends, eating out,, we talk every day i know everythung about him.., but when I asked him about the type of relationship he says friends and sometimes he says we will see what is happening And sometimes he says because you refused, at first I am no longer interested in relationships, and he also says that he does not see anyone but me and there is no difference between being in a relationship from the current situation.. I tried to end the relationship, but he didn't agree and said let's fix it and nothing changed but I want us to be in a relationship because i love him , what i do?

[Nawlins34]

You drop him, you don't need his permission.

He wants access to sex, you provide that.

Let's break this down. I'm pulling quotes from your post and replying below.

"We met through the internet, he wanted a relationship and I refused because I was not interested in him, after we met I like him and we met a lot and had sex a lot and we stayed together for long days at home, going out together , meet his friends, eating out,, we talk every day i know everythung about him.., but when I asked him about the type of relationship he says friends and sometimes he says we will see what is happening."
- He got sex without being your boyfriend. So why be your boyfriend? He doesn't value everything else you mentioned, if he did? You'd be in a relationship with him.

He gains nothing more, he only loses the ability to have sex with other women and it not be labeled as cheating. There's nothing to gain for him on that.

"And sometimes he says because you refused, at first I am no longer interested in relationships," - right here? This is when you walk away. His reason is bullshit, but he's telling the truth about not being interested in a relationship.

"he also says that he does not see anyone but me and there is no difference between being in a relationship from the current situation.. " - He says that to make you feel special or freeze in place. He'll say anything to not ruin his access to sex.

"I tried to end the relationship, but he didn't agree and said let's fix it and nothing changed " - He's got everything he wants, he considers you his useful fool, he doesn't have to change. He only says this so you won't actual leave.

"but I want us to be in a relationship because i love him" - I won't speculate on your love for him, but you're in a relationship with him by yourself. If he's saying he loves you, he's lying. He loves his access to sex.

" what i do?" - You drop him. Don't end it and become friends. Really end it. He doesn't respect you if you think about it.

If you're practically already there, then making it official is simple. He doesn't want that with you.

You asked, I answered. Be safe and good luck.

[razelove]

You can't do anything if you're the only one that cares. You're an NSA side piece, possibly the only one, maybe one of many. Regardless you are a place holder until someone better comes along. He doesn't want you leaving or seeing other people, but refuses to even define your relationship.

If you love him, I hope it's puppy love because you've been together for a short period of time. If there's depth to it, I feel sorry for you. A poly relationship would be one thing, but the only way for you to be in a relationship with him is if he "settles" for you while you work for him.

I'd recommend getting out of that situation. You're old enough to have had other relationships and know they can suck, but they shouldn't have to suck that hard. Even if you're a masochist, you should at least be treated with respect outside of the bedroom.

[Sanzm]

Thanks for your time, I appreciate it and will listen to your advice, really I'm tired because I feel confused all the time

[razelove]

That's probably by design, it's a lot easier to control someone if you always keep them on their back foot. At least it's a lot less work. I use that in a lot of my scenes, and learned it from bad relationships I had, and employing the same later for a while. Pretty much all ONS, and NSA.

Working for someone who's willing to work with you is one thing. When you're taken for granted, dismissed, and low-key manipulated, don't take it. It's one thing if you're ignorant, but unless your kink is being humiliated and ignored, you already know it gets worse, not better. Well, for you, it gets better for him. If the power dynamic was reversed in your favor then it would be the opposite and I'd be advising him to bounce lol

[HollyK21]

So walk away. He shouldn’t be able to “allow” or dictate whether you’re messing with each other anymore or not. You already know where he stands, so unless he’s talking about a relationship, and you know you don’t want friends with benefits, then walk away and don’t look back unless he’s on the same page as you. Otherwise you are just wasting your time, making it harder for yourself to leave and allowing yourself to be used.

[Sanzm]

Thank you, I'll walk away 🧡

[razelove]

Agreed, it becomes a pattern, also all that time the skills you need in an actual relationship atrophy.

[MzAsh]

He’s with you for convenience. You may be his only option for now but he’s definitely waiting for other options to come along. If this were me, I’d quickly remind him who is in control here. If he wants to avoid labels, he can do it with some other foolish nitwit but it won’t be you.

[RHK36]

You kinda put yourself in that situation. Why would he now want a relationship when you gave it up. From his eyes the current "relationship" works. Sounds like a dickhead, move on you can do better.

[Iron_Man]

Move on girl MoveOn