What to do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I’ve known this guy online for the last few years from a dating website. He lives in England whereas I live in the USA. At first, we were online dating but ended it after a few months because he said he couldn’t handle distance plus his mental health was crazy (he was super rude to me all the time for no reason). After this, we talked on and off throughout the years and we connected more often recently since we’re at the same points in our lives academically.

This past month though, he disclosed that he has liked me the last couple of months since he realized that no other girl had made him feel the way I made him feel among other things, stating his liking for me. I was taken aback but was happy he told me. The very next day, he apologized for disclosing that information to me for whatever reason and disappeared essentially. He said he’d talk to me after a couple of weeks to sort things out mentally since he was going through it during that time. But, he didn’t contact me whatsoever until today he requested to follow me on social media. I didn’t even know he blocked me on there because it shows that I don’t follow him either even though I never unfollowed him.

he also changed his profile picture to his face I think to entice me to accepting it since he rarely shows his face (he’s not a selfie guy). Should I accept his request or decline it?

Accept his request

Decline his request

Other

[Anonymous]

Personally I wouldn’t, and it mostly has to do with the distance. One thing I’ve learned from the time I tried an LDR is that this arrangement is not suited for everyone. Already it’s meant to be temporary (like if a job requires travel, if you plan to live together or move closer at a future time with an actual date stamped on it, etc), so if there’s no plans for this then the situation seems bleak. Knowledge of this would upset anyone, but if he has mental health issues then the distance will not help. Even his mental health is something he needs to address and learn to coexist with before trying to date anyone.

[Asker]

That’s what I believe as well which is what I told him after he said he liked me. He admitted the mental health problems, that’s why he decided to leave but what I don’t like is how he believes he can just come and go whenever he wants without consequences

[Opinion Owner]

That come and go behavior is something you’ll have to take accountability for. Men will do whatever you allow them to get away with, and when he comes back and there’s no repercussions, well there’s no incentive to be more consistent. Sure it’s annoying, but it won’t stop until you put your foot down. Accept his friend request would just be you, yet again, letting him back in. If I were you, I’d switch it up, delete his request and move on.

[Asker]

That’s a good idea. Thanks.

[mermaidcancermoon]

If he truly wanted you hed have met with you by now and took you on a date. He wants attention when he's bored dont roleplay with a guy who isn't trying to see you in person within 3 months. (literally anyone can say "next yeat maybe") 5 and 10 years can pass by on fantasies like that.