What to do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

So there is this guy. He’s my instructor for my ground school flying. He’s only a couple years older than me. It seems to me that every time something goes wrong with his devices he always mentions about having an electrician to help him *which is what I do for a living. No matter if the whole class is in there or not. For my first test it was just me and him in this building afterwards we started talking like nothing too crazy. Then he asked me what I was going to go do after this and I told him I was going to shoot my bow. Talked about that for a bit then I asked him and he said he was going to go fly. I didn’t want to step on any toes as I didn’t want to be desperate unless he invited me which he didn’t. Since then he’s been playing hot and cold. Last test I had to go in again and he helps me a bunch, but didn’t make much eye contact with me but he did fidget with his neck. Couldn’t talk for a while as he had another student. He has helped me so much and I texted him to see what we did this past week in class. He told me what we did and then asked if I wanted him to find me a video. I said yeah if you don’t mind. Thanks! And he sent me a video. I didn’t respond because again I don’t want to be desperate but I will thank him in person. I haven’t found anything about a girlfriend but how would you casually ask a guy for drinks considering he’s helped you with the tests just in case he does have a girlfriend? *But to me it’s seems like he’s interested but doesn’t want to come off too strong as I am still his student*

[Anonymous]

It's important to be careful when considering a relationship with someone who is in a position of authority or power over you, as there are potential ethical implications and risks involved. In this case, your instructor is responsible for your education and professional development, and it's important to maintain appropriate boundaries and avoid any conflicts of interest.

That being said, if you're interested in exploring a potential relationship with your instructor, it may be helpful to start by getting to know him better outside of the classroom or professional setting. Rather than asking him out for drinks right away, you could consider inviting him to a group activity or event with friends or colleagues, or suggesting a casual coffee or lunch meeting to chat more informally.

It's also important to be aware of and respectful of any potential power dynamics or conflicts of interest that may arise from a relationship with your instructor. If you're feeling uncertain or uncomfortable about the situation, it may be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor for guidance and support.

[Asker]

Good points and I think I’m going to ask him after my ground school so that way if he says no then I don’t have to see him again. I did catch him a couple times last night looking at me and we teased each other a little last night as well. He kept running his fingers through his hair so that is a little sign right?

[Opinion Owner]

It's possible that he may be interested in you, but it's also important to remember that people can display nervous or fidgety behavior for a number of reasons, and it's not always a sign of romantic interest. It's best to not read too much into small gestures, and to maintain a professional and respectful relationship with him while you are still his student.

If you do decide to ask him out for drinks after your ground school is finished, it's important to approach the situation with confidence and respect. Make it clear that you are interested in getting to know him better as a person, rather than just as a potential romantic partner. If he declines, or if he has a girlfriend or other commitments outside of work, it's important to respect his decision and maintain a professional relationship with him.

[Asker]

Oh yeah I agree with you 100%. It just seems like what my male friends have said that he is interested but trying to keep it low as I am his student.

[Opinion Owner]

It's possible that your male friends may be picking up on some signals that suggest your instructor is interested in you, but it's important to remember that this is just speculation and not a guarantee. It's important to be cautious and respectful in any potential romantic or sexual situation, especially when there is a power dynamic at play.

It's important to prioritize your academic and professional goals, and to be aware of any potential consequences of pursuing a relationship with your instructor. If you do decide to pursue a relationship, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with each other about your expectations and boundaries, and to prioritize maintaining a professional and respectful environment in your ground school and any other shared spaces.

[Anonymous]

Be brave and ask him if he wants to hang out.

[Asker]

How do you casually go about that?

[Opinion Owner]

Ask him out to coffee.

[Asker]

So just basically say “Hey I feel like I owe you a drink or something?”

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, that will work.

[Asker]

Okay I will try that but after I’m done with my ground school.