Should I just cut it off?

[Jen001]

So I met this guy at the gym, back in January/February and got his number. We didn't really start hanging out until March due to his schedule being so crazy. He would ask me to dinner last minute and I went along with it if I was free because I figured well maybe it will loosen up a bit soon but it never really did. I thought he was really interested in getting to know me and that he liked me too because it seemed like it. He would kiss me, hug me at the end of the night. He invited me to his friends birthday party a couple weeks ago and introduced me to everyone. He always comes up to me at the gym and talks to me. Right now, his mom is really sick and was in the hospital. When I asked him about how he felt about me and us he told me that he had a lot on his plate and got very defensive about it because I apparently didn't understand what he's been going through with his mom. He told me we've had this conversation before but I don't remember having it. I apologized and he said we were cool. My friends told me to cut him off but I don't know what to do.. I told him the other day if he ever had time and wants to hang out one day he can let me know. He told me definitely, he had a lot going on right now but that he would let me know. I tried to be there for him the best i could be when his mom was in the hospital. I dont want to be selfish and take that time away from him with his mom ever.

[Sparkie460]

You handled this exactly how you should have. The ball is in his court now. I wouldn't sit around waiting for him. I'd just leave the door open for him. If he calls you and you found someone else, it's his loss.

[Jen001]

Thank you. I have been leaning towards that. I just wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do but it makes sense. I want to give him his space so he can figure stuff out and be with his mom. I think im just more afraid of never hearing or seeing him again because when we did hang out we had a lot of fun together and he told me he liked hanging out with me.

[Sparkie460]

Do you still see him at the gym? You can ask how his mom is doing? Let him know that you are there for him if he needs a shoulder or someone to vent to

[Jen001]

Yes I do see him at the gym. He's there almost everyday. He has been telling me how she's doing like Wednesday he told me she came home finally. And I texted him Friday night and told him to have a good weekend and hope he enjoys it with his mom as well and he replied thank you so much and he hoped I was doing well. I still have strong feelings for him so I don't know how to just turn those feelings off.

[Sparkie460]

Does he seem to have an interest in you.

[Jen001]

Well thats the thing. I guess that's what I'm asking if he still does. He seemed to have an interest before if he was taking me out and kissing me and he even introduced me to his friends when he took me to his friends birthday party. He took me to a shooting range because I wanted to learn how to shoot and he taught me and said I did well and even told his stepfather about me and how I did at the range.

[Sparkie460]

Why don't you ask him out to do something together. Since he's been dealing with his mom being sick he might need a break. It seems like you were off to a good start before his mom got sick.

[Jen001]

Yes and we were. And that's the thing. I did tell him on Wednesday that if he had time and he wanted to hang out to let me know. I told him no pressure and he said no pressure at all and he said definitely he just has a lot on his plate right now but that he would definitely let me know

[Jen001]

And because of that response, everyone has told me to cut him off

[Sparkie460]

It seems like he doesn't know how to handle what was dished out to him. Try to get him to talk about what is going on with him. You can offer to help him with some stuff so it's not so stressful to him. If he says " no it's ok" tell him that you really want to help him. I don't think you should give up on him.

[Jen001]

Thank you for the advice, I will try and do that. Do you think he's afraid of screwing things up with me too? He is stressed out about being there for his mom plus he complained that he was neglecting things like his dog and taking care of him, cleaning his apartment and other things he can't do when he's at work. I've offered to take care of his dog for him if he needed but he didn't really give me an answer. I know he can't juggle one more thing like a relationship right now and I get it but I definitely don't want to give up on him. He still comes up to me and talks to me at the gym like I said

[Sparkie460]

I don't know if you like cleaning but you can go to his place and help him clean. Tell him 2 people can get it done a lot faster so he can spend more time helping his mom.

[Sparkie460]

I know it's not much of a date but he'll be able to see that you are there for him

[Jen001]

Definitely going to mention it. I guess if he shoots it down then at least I tried and he knows I want to help and be there for him

[Sparkie460]

When you mention it also mention how you feel about him that you want to be there for him. Some guys like myself try to handle things on their own but get overwhelmed.

[exitseven]

you handled this thing correctly. You did all you could now it is up to him.

[Pinay_ako]

Don’t invest too much of yourself in anything especially if you’re not getting the same investment back… give him space and time to do what he’s doing. Meanwhile, live your best life.

[Avicenna]

Just give him some space to deal with that