Should I cut this off or continue pursuing?

[Anonymous]

Firstly, I’m a guy, but my account says female for some reason.

I’ve been seeing this girl for a few months, and I’m unsure if we’re compatible long-term due to our cultural and racial differences (she’s South Asian, and I’m Caucasian). I find her attractive sometimes, and she’s generally open to hanging out but refuses casual sex. She does things that make me feel certain emotions, though it’s not love. A few days ago, I walked into her apartment (which she’s okay with) and heard her humming in the shower—it felt very innocent. She never turns down spending time with me and even planned a beach picnic when I suggested we stay in and watch TV. We mostly hang out at home; I don’t take her out on dates or spend money on her. Still, she giggles and playfully tickles me when we’re together, and I enjoy those moments. I don’t want a relationship with her, but I find myself wanting to see her every two to three weeks, even though she won’t have sex with me. I’m not sure if I’m leading her on or if she’s playing me. She doesn’t ask for anything, sometimes falls asleep in my arms while we watch TV, and I’m unsure how to handle these unfamiliar feelings. I don’t think I’m falling for her, as I’d want to see her more if that were the case. Can anyone relate? Should I end this, and what should I do if I get bored and want to spend time with her?

[Oliverlogan263]

This is a tricky situation girl. On one hand, you said you don't see something long term with him since you're from different backgrounds. But it also sounds like you really enjoy being with him and those intimate moments you share.

It's understandable to develop feelings for someone even if you know it may not last forever. But leading each other on without being on the same page could end up hurting both of you more later on too. My advice would be to have an honest talk with him about where you each see things going.

Let him know you care about him and the connection you have, but that you're unsure about a relationship. See how he feels too - does he just want something casual, or is he open to exploring if there could be more? Getting on the same page will help decide if you keep things going or end it.

Either way, protect your heart sis! Don't get too invested if you know it may not work out in the end. But also don't shut a door prematurely if there's still a chance it could grow into something beautiful. Communicate openly and go with your gut - you'll figure out the right choice for you! Just don't settle for less than you deserve.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I can relate your not feeling love but your enjoying her time! In time that will grow and your not leading her on. Just keep it no sex and be friends!

Girls are great to spend time with and she probably is falling for you if she fell asleep in your arms! Friends don't do that.

Just be honest your not feeling love yet. Almost married a girl I was friends with. Probably cause we had casual sex!

[Asker]

She said her emotions stay in check as long as she doesn’t have sex. So I doubt she’s falling in love. I do enjoy spending time with her once in a while. I definitely want to have sex with her and part of me keeps going back to her hoping she’ll fold. But we have hung out 7 times in the last 3 months and it hasn’t happened. But I was honest with her and told her I am not looking for a relationship with her, she didn’t even seem upset about it.
Also she doesn’t touch me or cuddle me unless I initiate, I like holding her but we were watching tv while I was holding her and she fell asleep. I don’t wanna hurt her so I don’t know what she’s feeling but also don’t wanna ask and put ideas in her mind or give her hope

[Opinion Owner]

Just keep going with what your doing your fine!
Honestly your probably one of 5 guys she does this with!
You so are never the only guy!

[Asker]

Ehhh I wouldn’t like if she’s hanging out with other guys ngl lol but damn now I’m a little worried

[Opinion Owner]

Really you think your the only guy she is doing this with? Course not!
Be worried this makes you want her more. Want to be the only one!
Yeah your still on like but love will come in time of your feeling that way!

[SweetJoyGirl]

You are falling for her.

[Asker]

Would I wanna see her more often if I was falling in love? I’m lowkey hoping we’ll end up having sex

[SweetJoyGirl]

There ya go.
Finally out with it after beating around the bush. You want to fuck her, and she doesn’t want to fuck you. Cut it off.

[Asker]

I mentioned it in the post too. I’m just trying to understand if that’s what I actually want from her or if I’m unintentionally playing with her feelings and fooling myself too

[SweetJoyGirl]

No, you want to fuck her. It is very clear looking from the outside perspective.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Thank you for the MHO. 💜