What sort of non direct questions I should ask a guy to understand his feelings for me or is he serious about me?

[Anonymous]

I like him, we have a long distance friendship and we talk over text and I want to keep him for the rest of my life

[RavVid]

Likewise to others have you met in person cause talking over text is all very well but you won't really know if the chemistry works until you are face to face.

Technically are you just friends but you are hoping to be more than friends? Is this the scenario?

Look if you are both in the friend zone and you text him "I want to have your babies" he might think 'WTF! But we are just friends. Where did that come from?'.

If that is the case then you need to signal a bit. Ask his advice and follow his suggestions (you know a girl respects you then) and report back. Say that he is important in your life.

On the other hand maybe you are phone sex with him and breaking furniture in the process for all we know from the question.

You need to clarify for best advice.

[Asker]

Hi, thanks for your words! its quite difficult for us now to meet in person and yea technically we are good friends, we give updates about each other every day , we motivate each other and asks about our opinions on things. I feel in some way that he likes me but I want to clarify a bit more so that I can make the next step on it and again I like him more than a friend

[RavVid]

I wish you well on this. I have been in vaguely similar situations. I was surprised recently that a gal pal told me she should have picked me instead of the guy she did pick.

I think in many ways written comms (email texts) can build an emotional bond that face to face doesn't necessarily do because you need to put in emotional content. Face to face I'd know by looking at you, if you had a good/bad/average day at work but you two need to write that to each other and communicate the emotional impacts of your days. So it doesn't surprise me you are forming an attachment from this.

I think though you might be better approaching this from a different angle. The girl who said she should have picked me would have really surprised me if she was investigating my thought towards her. I wouldn't have admitted to any carnal thoughts about her at any time even though I had them. Also a good close gal pal can become very important to you. Not that girl but another girl did and when an opportunity did arise, I thought no don't rock the boat here - keep it as it is.

So he will doubtless say he likes you but possibly will not admit to LIKING you even though he does. He is not going to say he masturbates over you every day in the morning shower.

Instead of you checking his feelings, you'd be better off conveying yours and validating it is OK for him to have carnal thoughts and you won't speed dial the police.

Edge your comms towards things that couples would do together, on some of them. eg "I wish we could sit close on a couch and watch a movie together". Don't bombard and keep it a little ambiguous initially so there is space for thoughts to grow. Admit to your feelings rather than interrogate his. I know you aren't but you get what I mean.

[MrCommodore]

I would suggest subtle flirting first, to see how he reacts without you putting yourself out there. Like during your messages throw in some comments that will make him wonder if you are flirting, but not certain. Like just little jokes that are complimentary to him, flattery works.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[Avicenna]

None. This is a topic you really need to be direct about.

[Asker]

Thanks !

[FilmGuy93]

Ask him if he considers himself a happy person. If he knows what he wants. Things like that.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[spartan55]

There are none. Have you met in person?

[Asker]

Hi, no we haven’t cause it’s quite impossible now to meet in person but yea in some months maybe. Before that I wanted to clarify about his feelings

[spartan55]

You can't until you meet in person. It's just not possible.

[Guy13]

Direct is best…