What did he mean by this?

[Anonymous]

He said we communicated/ understood each other but in a distant way during date. What does that mean?


Did he want to get more closer/ personal with me? Did he want me to show more intetest? Or he meant that he wasn’t feeling me?

[ElementoP]

Sounds like he didn't feel a connection with you
In other words, he likes you but he's not feeling you romantically

[Asker]

Tbh we’ve been kinda getting distant from each other through texting too and I wasn’t acting that interested during the date due to my nerves

[FilmGuy93]

He probably wanted you to show more interest.

[Asker]

When guy say this are they usually attracted to the girl?

[FilmGuy93]

What did he say?

[Asker]

That we felt distant during date

[FilmGuy93]

Oh. Yeah, a guy would only say something like that if the chemistry he was used to wasn't present on the date.

[Asker]

So it’s not about how I acted during the date? I was shy …

[Asker]

This is what he exactly said” our interaction/ communication was better during the date compared to when we chatted but in a distant way.

[FilmGuy93]

No. What you did on the date is what he was talking about. Your shyness made him feel like there was less of a romantic connnection, even though the banter was better.

[Asker]

Would that make him think that I wasn’t really interested?

[FilmGuy93]

Yes, 100%. If a woman doesn't actively behave like she wants men to touch her and generally become flirtier with her, no sane man would EVER escalate his advances; that's how you get hit with sexual harassment charges.

[Asker]

Tbh I did kinda came across that I wasn’t interested and it wasn’t my intent

[FilmGuy93]

It's something that a lot of women struggle with. They're either shy, or they freeze up, or generally lack confidence, so they tend to clam up and act uninterested on dates. If a woman doesn't act like she wants me to make an advance, why would I knowingly force a flirtatious situation on someone who doesn't seem receptive. As a guy who has been on the recieving end of it, I can tell you that it women who act like that absolutely terrify me.

I've had otherwise extremely confident women do stuff like that, and then ask me why I wasn't more forward later on. Occasionally those are the same women who tried to blame more for "forcing myself on them" later on. If you want someone to be flirty with you, you have to make that fact obvious to them.

[Asker]

He didn’t want second date :/ also I kinda came off uninterested during texting too altough I initiated conversations

[Asker]

I hope he comes around…

[FilmGuy93]

Why would he? You acted like you don't give a shit about talking with him. No emotionally healthy person would come around to the idea of pursuing someone who acts they would rather be doing something else.

[Asker]

I told him afterwards that I was willing to continue to date

[Asker]

Maybe he realizes that I was shy

[FilmGuy93]

Did you use the words "willing to continue to date?" Because if so; you again acted like you couldn't give the slightest shit about talking to him. That phrasing makes it sound like you're tolerating him.