What does it mean when a guy says he doesn’t want to hold me back?

[Anonymous]

[WhiteSteve]

Dude is only looking for part-time, if you ask me. I can’t speak on whether he’s genuine, or making excuses, or playing games since I don’t know him, but either way, I would manage my expectations of this guy if I were you. Or better yet, just keep it moving, and look for someone else who can give you what you’re looking for. You can’t MAKE people be what you want, you just look until you find someone who IS what you want. And this guy seems to be trying to say he might not be able to be who you want, at this point in your lives. And the point of life you’re in can definitely be hectic for many who have to juggle work with school, so it’s a weird time to try to lay the groundwork for lasting romantic relationships beyond just hooking up when the time is convenient. Sometimes this time of life is best spent figuring out what you need and what you want for yourself from a partner. When you find that right one, it usually doesn’t come by force, you know? It just sort of happens. And every new romantic interest, we hope it’s the right one, but remember almost every person you meet in life simply “ain’t it.” “You have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince”, as the old adage goes. Learn from your own missteps and incorrect behaviors, but also don’t sell yourself out for anyone else. I remember when I first met my lady, like 15 years ago, she was all gassed up on this book called “He’s Just Not That Into You”, not to be confused with the later movie made by the same name, because she felt the movie missed the point of the book. But the Cliff’s Notes on it is basically “if someone REALLY wants to be with you, they’ll make it their business to do so. They won’t “try”, they’ll just do it, because he IS that into you and is committed to making it work. Big difference between that and someone just sticking around because they think you’re cool enough and like the physical side of the relationship. I always say “true love is them sticking around if you went through a windshield (fortune forbid) and were going to be a quadriplegic for the rest of your life and need to be intensively cared for with no real sexual side to the relationship, or even just a fully functional relationship, PERIOD. THAT’S what true love looks like.”, as morbid as that might be. Just always keep that in mind. Because it’s easy as hell to be 20 years old and doing all the fun shit, but if you stay together for the long haul, you may have some SERIOUS curveballs thrown to you by life, hopefully not as serious as a wheelchair, but serious shit that will test the resolve and the soul of both you and your partner, and at that point someone is balding or 50 lbs heavier or all wrinkled up, so you’re no longer in it based purely or largely on sexual attraction. You have to built to last through that, and you need to ask yourself if the person who you struggle to get a timely response text from is really that person.

[Rab1901]

Hmm... I don't think it's as simple as many people are making it sound. I can't say for sure because guys aren't all the same, and I don't know the guy, but I think he actually has some class for responding the way he did. It might be that he's trying to let you down softly because he thinks you're kinda crazy, but he still might want you for hookups. I also don't think it's that farfetched that he likes you though, and he's genuinely going through a tough time. I might be optimistic because it sounds like something I would say genuinely, but you could usually tell by observing his behavior. If he avoids you, he probably thinks you're crazy. If he's around your age, getting intoxicated often, and flirting with other girls, he doesn't like you that much. If he treats him mom well, he remembers little details, he puts more effort with you than others, and he has a good time hanging out without trying to hook up each time, he could definitely be honest. One thing for sure is that both haven't communicated very well, so that could be a start.

[danka_02]

I would just act like everything’s fine but from now on whenever he needs something or text you, don’t reply…make him see how it feels

[spartan55]

With respect, worst advice ever.

[danka_02]

Nah it’s great

[spartan55]

It might register if the dude gave a shit, but alas he does not.

[yucychan]

He's just not that into you and doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

[ohsheeT]

What he's saying when he doesn't want to hold you back is he saying that he basically wants you when he wants you he wants you to still go out and have friends but he wants a little bit more but with no commitment that's kind of sad I don't know why he wouldn't want you all the way

[Abchahaha]

I feel like he is having psychological issues. And it also means he feels tired of the relationship and guilty about not taking the responsibility but also wants to give it up. It's complicated, he might actually want to meet you, and it's hard to tell if that is what is in a depressed person's mind or if it's something someone just makes up to break up in a soft way.

[Nathan25]

There is a lot of unresolved communication-related mistakes here. You need to figure out what both of you want and see if you can negotiate a relationship style that works for both of you. Maintain reasonable standards for how much time you afford for your partner, etc. The key to successful relationships is not backing out on every partner until you find the perfect one, it is about being flexible and working with the person you have right now.

[Nathan25]

Some people here are convinced he is not into you. If he's not willing to tell you straight he is not interested, that's HIS problem, don't waste time worrying about whether you are good enough.

[loveslongnails]

He's just trying to make himself the bad guy in an "acceptable way" to your mind. He's just not into you, but he doesn't want to say it that way and leave it at that. By saying "I don't want to hold you back", he's attempting to get you to infer that "he's not good enough" for you so you don't interpret his not wanting you as "you're not good enough for me". LOL

[Sandeeppingping]

He's not interested and trying to nicely say it instead of forwardly saying it, don't stick around unless you want to turn into an irrational emotional being who blames him for you catching feelings, you're choosing now

[H8INCHES]

Do you really want to be a last thought for any guy. If you put yourself in that low of importance, that's how he will think of you. Even if he is a good guy, he will be compiled to treat you as you have told him you want to be treated... as piece of dirty laundry. To be kicked around and stepped on until he needs something to wipe his cum on when he feels like it.

[Asker]

Idc at this point I’ve been treated like shit before

[H8INCHES]

WOW... I bet there's 100 guys that would treat you like a queen. But you want the guy that treats you like dirty laundry.

[spartan55]

Of course

[Thomas169]

He's trying to let you down, softly. If a guy really likes you and wants to make it work, he will find a way to make it work. Trust me. He's not really that into you. And if you slept with him, he already got what he wanted so he's moving on now.

[random42]

Two probable scenarios: either he is actually just not at a time of his life when he can focus on a relationship, or (this is the one I'm personally leaning towards) he is breaking up but he doesn't want to hurt you.

In either case, I think the mature thing to do is just accept that one way or another the relationship is over for now.

[DJB72]

Chloe, done make someone a priority for you if you're just an option for them.

You can retake exams. Resit classes. This guy isn't making you a priority. Walk away before you get really hurt.

[Smoothing]

He is telling you he will not blame you if you move on. He wants you but he will not stop you from moving on. At this time he would rather focus his energy some where else instead of a relationship.

[Texaskid1]

The guy is saying he is not interested in you but he is doing it nicely.

You are young and there are plenty of other guys out there. Don't stick around or else you will become a mess.

Keep walking.

[RasmusAiken]

It sounds like he can't make time for you. Take it for what it's worth. Were I in your place I'd be thinking of moving on.

[Still-alive]

Honestly i think he's just telling you he's not interested. and attempting to sugar coat it for you.

[Asker]

Yeah I am sad

[Still-alive]

it's alright we've all been rejected before. its just a part of life. Guys go through it all the time

[Asker]

I don’t mind about sounding desperate but I told him that I really like him and I’m low maintenance like can we work this out

[Still-alive]

it's best not to dwell on what could've been. his answer to you is pretty definitive in my opinion. just remember you are not any less of a person because of this. you'll find someone else you like and who likes you back for all that you are and what you mean to them. it'll happen for you im sure.

[Asker]

I don’t have anyone else but him

[Asker]

He said he still like me… why would he say that it’s better for him to say I lost interest in you

[Still-alive]

ehh i really wouldn't bother anymore. i feel like you'll only set yourself up here for more heartbreache. yeah he oughtta just be more clear about this and seems like he's unsure himself... but why wait around? You are worth more than that. he's just wasting your time...

so yeah i remain steadfast here. hold your head up high and move on.

[Still-alive]

You'll meet new people. and new guys in the future.

[Asker]

He’s my 3rd failed guy in 2 years I give up

[Asker]

I need this to work out

[Still-alive]

Man if you only knew how many women have turned me down over the years lol. 3 is nothing.

[Asker]

Also why would he add me back on Snapchat

[Asker]

They know I am beautiful and try to get in my pants

[Still-alive]

he sounds like he's playing games dear. smh i wouldn't stand for that ever

[Asker]

And this is after I create history with them

[Asker]

I don’t care at this point all men are the same

[Still-alive]

yes for a girl that is common unfortunately

[Asker]

I want to get drunk and call him saying he’s a bastard

[Still-alive]

yeah i went through an 'i hate women' phase myself...

don't let it consume you

[Still-alive]

no don't do that. thats crazy girl stuff

[spartan55]

I love how you back pedal your crazy text you sent him before.

[AndrésC64]

It means he likes you, but not enough to wait for you. If you want to wait for him, that's fine.

[Asker]

I would

[AndrésC64]

You can wait, but that doesn't mean that he'll still be there. That's a huge gamble. But you may think it worth it.

[Asker]

I don’t have anyone else anwuays

[AndrésC64]

I wouldn't recommend waiting. I think at best he might consider you as casual dating, but it certainly doesn't appear that he's interested in anything serious. You don't need anyone else, don't think of yourself that way, It's actually a good time to work on yourself and find out what you want and who you are. I know that sounds lame, it sounded lame when they told it to me. 😁

[Asker]

I don’t mind I want him to be my rave bar

[Asker]

Rave bae

[RavVid]

It means C U much much Later. That's what I'm reading. Its not you its me is a classic.

[Vick2828]

Tbh he's really busy and probably doesn't have time for you. If you are looking for a relationship and he isn't, just block him or use reverse psychology.

[FilmGuy93]

That he recognizes that he is a bad fit for you.

[Mangospacho]

Nah. He just can’t find anyone to be with tonight and knows that he can be sweet in one text and win you back.

[Iron_Man]

He Is probably making excuses because you’re too much work and he just doesn’t wanna deal with it a high profile girl Maybe high maintenance