What does it mean when a guy says he doesn’t want to hold me back?

Question

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

Dude is only looking for part-time, if you ask me. I can’t speak on whether he’s genuine, or making excuses, or playing games since I don’t know him, but either way, I would manage my expectations of this guy if I were you. Or better yet, just keep it moving, and look for someone else who can give you what you’re looking for. You can’t MAKE people be what you want, you just look until you find someone who IS what you want. And this guy seems to be trying to say he might not be able to be who you want, at this point in your lives. And the point of life you’re in can definitely be hectic for many who have to juggle work with school, so it’s a weird time to try to lay the groundwork for lasting romantic relationships beyond just hooking up when the time is convenient. Sometimes this time of life is best spent figuring out what you need and what you want for yourself from a partner. When you find that right one, it usually doesn’t come by force, you know? It just sort of happens. And every new romantic interest, we hope it’s the right one, but remember almost every person you meet in life simply “ain’t it.” “You have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince”, as the old adage goes. Learn from your own missteps and incorrect behaviors, but also don’t sell yourself out for anyone else. I remember when I first met my lady, like 15 years ago, she was all gassed up on this book called “He’s Just Not That Into You”, not to be confused with the later movie made by the same name, because she felt the movie missed the point of the book. But the Cliff’s Notes on it is basically “if someone REALLY wants to be with you, they’ll make it their business to do so. They won’t “try”, they’ll just do it, because he IS that into you and is committed to making it work. Big difference between that and someone just sticking around because they think you’re cool enough and like the physical side of the relationship. I always say “true love is them sticking around if you went through a windshield (fortune forbid) and were going to be a quadriplegic for the rest of your life and need to be intensively cared for with no real sexual side to the relationship, or even just a fully functional relationship, PERIOD. THAT’S what true love looks like.”, as morbid as that might be. Just always keep that in mind. Because it’s easy as hell to be 20 years old and doing all the fun shit, but if you stay together for the long haul, you may have some SERIOUS curveballs thrown to you by life, hopefully not as serious as a wheelchair, but serious shit that will test the resolve and the soul of both you and your partner, and at that point someone is balding or 50 lbs heavier or all wrinkled up, so you’re no longer in it based purely or largely on sexual attraction. You have to built to last through that, and you need to ask yourself if the person who you struggle to get a timely response text from is really that person.

Rab1901 · Accepted Answer

Hmm... I don't think it's as simple as many people are making it sound. I can't say for sure because guys aren't all the same, and I don't know the guy, but I think he actually has some class for responding the way he did. It might be that he's trying to let you down softly because he thinks you're kinda crazy, but he still might want you for hookups. I also don't think it's that farfetched that he likes you though, and he's genuinely going through a tough time. I might be optimistic because it sounds like something I would say genuinely, but you could usually tell by observing his behavior. If he avoids you, he probably thinks you're crazy. If he's around your age, getting intoxicated often, and flirting with other girls, he doesn't like you that much. If he treats him mom well, he remembers little details, he puts more effort with you than others, and he has a good time hanging out without trying to hook up each time, he could definitely be honest. One thing for sure is that both haven't communicated very well, so that could be a start.

danka_02 · Accepted Answer

I would just act like everything’s fine but from now on whenever he needs something or text you, don’t reply…make him see how it feels

yucychan · Accepted Answer

He's just not that into you and doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

ohsheeT · Answer

What he's saying when he doesn't want to hold you back is he saying that he basically wants you when he wants you he wants you to still go out and have friends but he wants a little bit more but with no commitment that's kind of sad I don't know why he wouldn't want you all the way

Abchahaha · Answer

I feel like he is having psychological issues. And it also means he feels tired of the relationship and guilty about not taking the responsibility but also wants to give it up. It's complicated, he might actually want to meet you, and it's hard to tell if that is what is in a depressed person's mind or if it's something someone just makes up to break up in a soft way.

Nathan25 · Answer

There is a lot of unresolved communication-related mistakes here. You need to figure out what both of you want and see if you can negotiate a relationship style that works for both of you. Maintain reasonable standards for how much time you afford for your partner, etc. The key to successful relationships is not backing out on every partner until you find the perfect one, it is about being flexible and working with the person you have right now.

loveslongnails · Answer

He's just trying to make himself the bad guy in an "acceptable way" to your mind. He's just not into you, but he doesn't want to say it that way and leave it at that. By saying "I don't want to hold you back", he's attempting to get you to infer that "he's not good enough" for you so you don't interpret his not wanting you as "you're not good enough for me". LOL

H8INCHES · Answer

Do you really want to be a last thought for any guy. If you put yourself in that low of importance, that's how he will think of you. Even if he is a good guy, he will be compiled to treat you as you have told him you want to be treated... as piece of dirty laundry. To be kicked around and stepped on until he needs something to wipe his cum on when he feels like it.

Sandeeppingping · Answer

He's not interested and trying to nicely say it instead of forwardly saying it, don't stick around unless you want to turn into an irrational emotional being who blames him for you catching feelings, you're choosing now

Thomas169 · Answer

He's trying to let you down, softly. If a guy really likes you and wants to make it work, he will find a way to make it work. Trust me. He's not really that into you. And if you slept with him, he already got what he wanted so he's moving on now.

random42 · Answer

Two probable scenarios: either he is actually just not at a time of his life when he can focus on a relationship, or (this is the one I'm personally leaning towards) he is breaking up but he doesn't want to hurt you.

In either case, I think the mature thing to do is just accept that one way or another the relationship is over for now.

Smoothing · Answer

He is telling you he will not blame you if you move on. He wants you but he will not stop you from moving on. At this time he would rather focus his energy some where else instead of a relationship.

Texaskid1 · Answer

The guy is saying he is not interested in you but he is doing it nicely. You are young and there are plenty of other guys out there. Don't stick around or else you will become a mess. Keep walking.

DJB72 · Answer

Chloe, done make someone a priority for you if you're just an option for them. You can retake exams. Resit classes. This guy isn't making you a priority. Walk away before you get really hurt.

RasmusAiken · Answer

It sounds like he can't make time for you. Take it for what it's worth. Were I in your place I'd be thinking of moving on.

Still-alive · Answer

Honestly i think he's just telling you he's not interested. and attempting to sugar coat it for you.

spartan55 · Answer

I love how you back pedal your crazy text you sent him before.

AndrésC64 · Answer

It means he likes you, but not enough to wait for you. If you want to wait for him, that's fine.

RavVid · Answer

It means C U much much Later. That's what I'm reading. Its not you its me is a classic.

Vick2828 · Answer

Tbh he's really busy and probably doesn't have time for you. If you are looking for a relationship and he isn't, just block him or use reverse psychology.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

That he recognizes that he is a bad fit for you.

Mangospacho · Answer

Nah. He just can’t find anyone to be with tonight and knows that he can be sweet in one text and win you back.

Iron_Man · Answer

He Is probably making excuses because you’re too much work and he just doesn’t wanna deal with it a high profile girl Maybe high maintenance

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

He's just making up an excuse to dump you that's all game don't fall for it. You must've slept with him a few times he got what he wanted not he wants to move on. Question why do you date these guys?

EnglishEuropean · Answer

Ms Chung! You got dumped. Oh well. The English have a saying: There are plenty more fish in the sea.

MrJMM · Answer

That's actually sweet. He's self-realizing that he needs to do something instead of ignoring a problem.

Deku2009 · Answer

It is simple , he wants you to essentially live your life to the fullest, sand he figured that he would slow you down

Anonymous · Answer

How many times have you had sex with him? This is important.

MangoBob · Answer

He’s really not interested in you. You have been friend zoned or totally discarded.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

The real question is why wouldn't he want to hold you? Is he crazy? that's the question

maximumpower · Answer

He's cutting you loose but trying to be nice about it.

nawtee_me · Answer

he is not interested and wants to be nice about it by making it look like him and not you...

shortster · Answer

He is breaking up with you and doesn't want to seem like he is doing the breaking up.

mrosseau89 · Answer

He doesn't see you as someone he wants to be serious with

ArtemisSilver · Answer

Seems like a soft letdown to me.

AydenHazor · Answer

His way of it's not you it's him

Jerre · Answer

Means he won’t hold back his cumming.

TallAnon · Answer

He actively wants to stop talking to you

KrakenAttackin · Answer

It means he isn't into you at all.

888theGreat · Answer

he is not really interested

Anonymous · Answer

Time to go looking for a new man.

Anonymous · Answer

🤣🤣🤣

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