Why does he say he doesn't love me but his behaviour says otherwise?

[Anonymous]

I have been seeing this guy for 5 months. He is clingy sometimes and sometimes emotionally distant. He also has severe anxiety issues which comes up every now and then (especially when he is stressed at work) and makes him act badly. Sometimes I can tell that he is falling in love with me (it is apartment in his behaviour and the way he talks) but sometimes he gets irritated when I try to initiate conversations, he avoids my calls and texts, and pushes me away by saying "I can't love you", "I don't feel anything for you, there is so much in my head right now, etc." But at the same time he says "I don't wanna lose you", "I feel a strong connection with you"..

What's going on? Someone help me interpret his mixed signals. Should I keep putting efforts or break up right away?

[PrettyPriya]

I would not pursue this guy and waste my time if it were me. He sounds immature. He clearly doesn’t know what he wants either. That sort of back and forth with his behaviour indicates that.

He isn’t ready to be in a relationship. You can’t tell someone I can’t love you one day and I don’t want to lose you the next. Make up your damn mind is what I would tell him.

If it were me, I’d be so fed up with that sort of nonsense that I would have been long gone by now.

Do yourself a favour and tell him goodbye. He isn’t going to change. At least not right now. He is going to do this “I don’t know what I want” rubbish because he knows he can get away with it and you’ll still be there.

Show him you won’t put up with it and then see what his attitude is. Hope this helps and best of luck.

[PrettyPriya]

@asker thank you kindly for the MHO 🙂

[melanieeeB]

Ughh way to exhausting, he said he didn't want to, so leave and move on... if he lied, well then that's on him.
Nobody needs an indecisive person in their life

[Guy13]

You are only seeing the tip of the iceberg. There is a whole functioning person in all their ways below the water surface. For whatever reason, whether it be confidence or past hurt, this boy is scared. It will not get better as he gets to know you.-There will simply be more discovery about you that worries him. He is not Sound at this point in his life whether it be poor genetics 🧬 or environmental experience is inconsequential. Tip of the Iceberg. Things do not normally sustainably improve. You are taken on lots of responsibility assuming the happiness from one who is so unstable. Be safe 🙂

[Asker]

You are on point. Thank you for replying

[Guy13]

Yes Mamm. Best in your endeavors 🙂

[maximumpower]

Sounds like he depends upon you for emotional support but is not ready for a long-term commitment.
Its a mixed set of signals, for sure.
If you would like to continue a relationship, then keep him at a distance until he's ready, otherwise, relegate him to "just friends" and leave it at that.

[spartan55]

Is he really your best option? He seems seriously immature, to the point he shouldn't be in a relationship. If someone told me "I can't love you" you mean nothing to me etc I would be OUT. You don't get to flip flop like that.

[Iron_Man]

This guy is in pain from something from the past he’s obviously protecting himself he seems like he really does like you maybe he needs therapy to get over it it’s probably from his past

[Asker]

You read my mind. Thanks for replying

[Iron_Man]

You are welcome

[Anonymous]

Often men don't make any sense when it comes to their feelings.