After first date where I was 40 minutes late he was very rude to me. Why? Just because I was late?

[Anonymous]

Would that really anger guy or it’s about something else?

[jshm2]

Tardiness is a trait of the unreliable, but not admitting to it, or caring about it, is a trait of a fucked up person.

You came across as a fucked up person. The least you could have done is called ahead, if not cancel.

That he took time out, arranged a date and waited, should tell you that he is far more reliable than you.

[Asker]

I think I wasn’t apologetic enough :/

[spartan55]

That would piss me off. 40 minutes late though? I would have been out. Did you at least let him know you would be late?

[Asker]

@spartan55 yeah but only after he was already there

[Adam1978]

I wouldn't have been there anymore, if a date was that late. It's really disrespectful. The date really need to keep me in the loop with a really good explaination to keep me there for so long. 15 minutes and I will leave.

[Asker]

he didn't left. He waited for me. he was afterwards very rude though... I did told him that I'm late after he already got there. I texted him that I'm going to be late.

[Adam1978]

What do you expect when you wasted an hour of his life. You ruined his mood. You can't be nice when you are grumpy.

[Asker]

so that would cause him to be rude and hurt my feelings `?

[Adam1978]

Easily but you already ruined his. So you should just take the blame and let it go. It's hard to save something after that start, you clearly didn't manage to do so. An excuse and just telling you are sorry won't do. You need to make up for it.

[Asker]

how can I make up for it? I've left him alone. Should I reach out to him again? last time he basically told me to fu*ck off..

[Adam1978]

You can take it as a loss and move on but you can't blame him. You have made a bad impression and repairing that is a lot of work. If he isn't a really rare candidate. It's just better to move on and don't repeat the mistake.

[Asker]

I really do like him.

[Asker]

even if he otherwise liked me he would just reject me like that if I was late?

[Adam1978]

Well then suck up and try to make his day. You need to counterweight the terrible day some how. Which requires that you know him, so you know how to manage that.

[Asker]

we've actually been no contact for close 2 months now. I don't know if it's desperate if I reach out to him again. Last time he didn't want to talk to me.

[Adam1978]

If it's been two months you already missed your chances. You should have acted within a week.

[Asker]

I did act but he wasn't having it...

[Asker]

maybe he'll miss me

[Adam1978]

I wouldn't count on it. You don't miss people that end up on your bad side.

[JustADudePlayinADude]

Unless you called will in advance or had a REALLY good reason for it, I don't blame him. I probably would have left after 30 min.

[Asker]

he didn't left. He waited for me. he was afterwards very rude though...

[Asker]

do you think he got he's feelings hurt?

[JustADudePlayinADude]

Yes, he probably did. He might have stayed out of hope you had a good excuse. But unless there was some medical emergency or something and/or you didn't let him know you were going to be late before your meet up time, what you did was very rude, inconsiderate of his feelings, and inconsiderate of his time. It isn't that hard to make a calendar notification on your phone that reminds you when to leave or message him if you need more time. If you don't have a good excuse or didn't warn him and you truly like him, then you need to make amends. Buy him a card and flowers (yes, guys can receive flowers) and offer to take him on a date YOU plan.

[Asker]

I understand that but he was very rude afterwards and didn't want to see me again. He didn't admit that it bothered him that I was late. He denied it...

[Wise4myage]

Well, imagine a guy being that late for you?

[Asker]

Yeah but if I liked him I wouldn’t be rude.. ofc I would be pissed but I would try to control my tongue.

[Wise4myage]

Good point.

[Asker]

He was quick to reject me …

[EmmaMary]

I trust you explained why you were so late.

[Asker]

i did told him but I guess I wasn't apologetic enough?

[In_Trance]

That's ridiculous

[Asker]

what`s ridiculous?