I was late for our first date. He was late too but despite that he had to wait for me 40 minutes.
after the date he didn’t reach out to me so I texted him first. I asked how he felt about the other day (when we met). He then replied “ do you mean when you was late? I forgot about that long time ago.
why did he brought it up?
Honestly 5 to 15 minutes late is not a big deal. 40 minutes late is really super disrespectful, and I do not even care what the excuse is personally.
If it was me after 15 minutes, I would have been out of there. I would tell you I was going to wait and then left. You would show up and I would have been gone, and in doing so hoped that you would learn something that obviously your parents didn't teach you. People's time and effort matters, it's not just about you.
Honestly, I had two dates were a woman was over 20 minutes late. One was because she went to the wrong Starbucks by accident. She knew which one to come to, but hit her GPS in hurry and it defaulted to the closest one to her, and she was halfway there before she figured out, she was going to wrong one. She was very apologetic, and she called me immedicably to apologize and asked me to wait and I did. The second was a woman who had a car issue, again the same she was very apologetic, called me immediately and asked me to wait, and I did.
Neither of those situations worked on in the long run. Bottom line I do not know enough about the situation to tell you why, but at the end of the day the guy felt disrespected. Because had to sit there waiting for over 40 minutes. And after all that, you did not impress him enough to want to follow up. When guys do not follow up with you within the first 24 hours of a date, then it's not something they are interested in, and they are just trying to be polite and hoping you pick up on the hint.
Next time put out a better effort and be on time.
Why is he friend now spying on me? After that date he didn’t want to see me again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
Don’t you think it’s big coincidence that he started to view my stuff even when he didn’t follow me and he’s first guys really good friend?
Maybe but probably not... but don't fixated on it or get mind fucked over it. Obviously if it was seriously bothering you, then you would block him or unfriend him... but you aren't so you must like attention. So quit acting like it's a problem when it's not a problem, and if it is an problem then the solution is simple... block him or quit talking about it or worrying about it.
The thing is I’m kinda interested in the friend. I did like his old pic to give him a hint but he hasn’t messaged me
Sorry I didn’t understand your comment?
You have jumped over to his friend now and not interested in the first guy.
That's probably why you didn't give a shit about being on time to begin with, and why the first guy isn't all that interested in you now. You kind of wasted his time, and now you want to date his friend.
You're kind of a mess.
What should I do? The first guy made it clear he doesn’t want to see me again. If his friend is interested im open to it..
by the way after that date he told me” I’m looking for my soulmate and a good wife. I don’t want to waste time” I guess he really disliked me…
Based on the message you provided, it doesn't seem that he sounded angry about you being late. In fact, his response indicates that he had already forgotten about it, which suggests that it didn't bother him as much as you may have thought. It's possible that he brought it up simply because you asked about how he felt about the date and he wanted to clarify what you were referring to.
However, keep in mind that tone and intention can be difficult to gauge over text, so it's possible that he was frustrated or annoyed about the wait but chose not to bring it up. In any case, it's always a good idea to be punctual for dates as a sign of respect for the other person's time, and to apologise if you are running late.
It's also worth noting that his lack of follow-up after the date could be for any number of reasons, and may not necessarily be related to your lateness. It could be that he wasn't interested in pursuing things further, or that he was busy with other commitments. It's always best to communicate openly and directly with someone to get a clear understanding of their feelings and intentions.
Sorry girl but 40 minutes is kinda rude on a first date.
10-15 minutes is reasonable (jitters and all that) but the fact that he waited 40 minutes for you, that’s absolute patience. For sure he’s upset by it. Even if he says otherwise. First dates set the tone on how a relationship can form. Did you at least text him letting him know you’re gonna be late?
did y’all ever end up going on a second one?
Having to wait 40 minutes isn't that big a deal but if I had to wait 40 minutes for some asshole in a restaurant... feeling like an assclown and having to tell the waiter no I'm not ready to order yet... no fucking way, I would of left after 10.. LOL
There would be no date number 2...
Opinion
37Opinion
u If meeting him and making a good intial impression was important to you, you would make him your priority on the appointed day and you would arrive on time, appropriately dressed and ready to give him your attention. That it was people expect of each other when they are dating, and ESPECIALLY on a first date.
Yes, your performance was a failure. He brought it up because it bothered him. Did you even bother to apologize to him? Have you done anything to try to compensate in any way?
Yeah. He’s angry.
Otherwise, you being late wouldn’t be the very first thing he brings up when you ask how the date went.
And him saying that he forgot about it, sounds like he’s being passive aggressive, saying one thing but thinking/feeling another thing, hoping you’d get the hint.
He expects an apology.
And I don’t blame him.
If I was on a first date with someone, and they were 40 minutes late, that would be a HUGE turn off unless they had a VERY good explanation for why.
I’m not sure if this situation can be saved. He probably said what he said to see if you can read the room or not—to see how intuitive or oblivious you are.
I’m not 100% sure how he thinks. But, I’m not surprised if he has already moved on.
But, passive aggression on his part is a red flag. At least to me. I don’t date passive aggressive people.
a few minutes is ok, 40 minutes is a long time.
I am usually always early.
you know what time you were to meet, so you have to plan around it.
Unless there is some sort of emergency there really is no excuse.
Did you call him to let him know that you were running late?
Not a text, an actual call.
that can help.
No excuses, just take responsibility and apologize.
Some people are habitually late, and that would be an issue with me.
Remember to be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late is unthinkable.
If it did bother him why did he say that he forgot about it long time?
He didn't forget about.
It could have been that to him he just didn't feel an attraction to you, and that is easier to say than the truth, or that was just a deal breaker even though he was alson not on time.
If you don't have a lot invested in this I would just move on.
Something just seems off.
Did he sound pissed off to you?
Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first he didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights.
I don’t understand. He has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
I liked his old picture and still he hasn’t messaged me
This has never been a real problem for me. Most of the time I go to her home and pick her up and we go together. If I have to wait it has always been at her home. There was one time when I had reservations for a table. She is an Attorney and got tied up in court. I was sitting at the bar waiting for her. She did call me though. I gave up that reservation and we just ate a burger later. If there is a good reason and she communicates with me I can always make an adjustment. It's when she does not communicate I will get angry!
He brought it up because yes he was mad. He was being sarcastic. I can see 10-15 minutes maybe traffic or something. But 40 minutes. Shows a lack of respect for me, also it tells me how interested you are in me as far as this date. It shows how you are as far as managing your time. Also tells me you’re probably one of these women I’m going to have to be waiting on when we need to leave by a specific time. You made him look like a fool sitting there waiting that whole time. Actually he made himself look like a fool for waiting that long. Surprised he waited. I would have split.
Because it's really rude to be late, and honestly you are really lucky he stuck around to wait on you. In the past when I've had this happen I literally waited for them to show up, an hour late, looked straight at them, and walked out without a word.
It says that despite them setting aside the only resource they can never recover (time) for you, you had better things to do than hold up your end of the most basic arrangement and better things to do than spend time with them... you made them feel less than.
Beautifully written
I find anyone being late is highly disrespectful so I would not get back to you either... But, of course, I would say that to your face first, so you don't wander why.
Yes, obviously he was upset and perhaps didn't think you where a good match then.
He probably felt disrespected. You made him wait a long time, you didn’t tell him you were gonna be late so he probably thought you were standing him up, and then you were surprised when we was upset about it. You haven’t shown him any respect as a person why would he text you back?
I mean unless you had a very good reason for being 40 minutes late, i'd probably feel the same way, that if the girl i'm dating really doesn't care to that degree, then i'm wasting my time with her. When you just start dating someone, during that time that's when everyone in on their best behaviour. If you're prepared to be 40 minutes late without a good reason on the first date, then god knows how much more disrespectful you'll be after the long term when you're comfortable with someone.
On my first date my guy came to pick me up at the metro station !! Not a cat.. metro station!!! Many dates after it too.. this mother fucker can’t even accept being late 1x once !
You must have lots of nerves to deal with him. Never settle for something that irritates you: I’m not saying you always be late. No. But it happens once you probably said sorry or whatever let’s forget it life moves on right and this dude can’t forget it..
SIKE
You were 40 minutes late and you wonder why he is 'bringing it up'? Really? You won't have any boyfriends or friends if that is how little you respect their time.
If it did bother him why did he say ” I forgot about it long time ago”
Being late more than 15 minutes is already a red flag for most people, let alone a 40 minutes one. Yes he sounded angry and yes he brought it up because he’s gotta let you know that what you did is disrespectful, it gives off a bad impression like you don’t really wanna go on that date and it looks like you're wasting his time.
After that he didn’t want to see again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
If my date would be 40 minutes late I would have returned home already and she had burned her chances and would have to do something special to recover from that.
After that he didn’t want to see again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
What do you think about his friends behaviour?
I definitely haven’t talked shit about him at all. They’re really good friends. If the first guy is using his friend to spy on me what could be the reason for that?
40 minutes? That’s just disrespectful. Sounds like you forgot and decided to go. First date has first impressions and it sounds like you don’t and will not take him seriously.
Would that be reason for him to reject me?
Yes, I’d imagine that he’s meaning to take you seriously but I don’t know the man.
After that he didn’t want to see again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
40 minutes... that's a really long time. I believe he's still angry and just straight up disappointed, not that I blame him.
15 minutes late would be acceptable but this really destroyed the date.
Nah, he's just being a prick.
But you should have more brains to be able to text "I'll be late" when you were 5 minutes late. That way at least they can be sure you're coming.
Be brighter, kiddo.
Jesus Christ woman, 40 minutes? Do you not know how to keep track of time? What would compel you to be that late without even telling him? That just shows you don't respect him or his time. Do better or don't date.
Sounds like that was his red flag and he's done with you. I'd just move on. I don't know why either of you were late, but it IS bad form for a first date.
He was being sarcastic -- and yes, he sounded angry. Your actions sent him a message that you were dis-interested and didn't care -- about him or the date.
Being super late is pretty inconsiderate unless there was a really good reason, like a bad accident caused the delay or something similar. He sounds like he will let it linger, so you might just want to forget about him and move on.
What did you mean by ” He sounds like he will let it linger” ?
He had to wait for you for forty minutes, wouldn't you be upset if you had to wait for nearly an hour? That's showing that you don't care for his time. Stating he was late is irrelevant because he got there forty minutes before you.
Why is he friend now spying on me? After that date he didn’t want to see me again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
I don't know. Why ask a question irrelevant to the original.
I was curious about this friends behaviour
Are you serious? He's mad because you were over 40 minutes late to your date. You wasted his time. He's mad because he has self respect.
In what way did I waste his time? He was late too. I hoped that he would’ve been understanding
He had to wait 40 MINUTES. Being understanding of someone's situation is 15 to 20 minutes late. That means you were 40 minutes late on top of however late he already was. You've wasted his time by not honoring your commitments to people.
The guy set aside time for you, and you couldn't be bothered to even kind of try to acknowledge that fact.
It means he felt stupid sitting somewhere waiting, you blew it
If it did bother him why did he say ” I forgot about it long time ago”
What would it mean then?
So is he hurt about me being late?
Umm men hate it when ladies are late to a date, they feel disrespected but honestly I’d too if my date was late. You should apologize if you want another chance
I noticed that his friend might be spying on me. After that date he didn’t want to see me again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
I’ve never met the friend
Through instagram
For me. It would depend on the reason that you were late. If you were late because you. are usually late. Then he has every right to be upset with you.
His time is as important as yours!
If it did bother him why did he say ” I forgot about it long time ago”
@mb120101 i didn’t understand. Is he infact pissed off?
It can be insulting if someone is late, but if the boobs are nice it makes up for it.
by the way I noticed that his friend is now spying on me. After that date he didn’t want to see me again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
Do you have nice boobs?
I don’t want to answer that question
If he waited 40 mins, it likely he has no game
What do you mean? I did let him know that I’m on my way
by the way I noticed that his friend is now spying on me? After that date he didn’t want to see me again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
He did add me back and since then he’s been often first to view my stories
Why would he even be curious unless the first guy told about me to his friend. I’ve never met this friend. The first guy we only used to talk and went out once.
I’m kinda interested on the new guy. I liked one of his old pictures and still he hasn’t dm me. I’m afraid he’s just keeping tabs for the first guy. They’re literally good friends and they’ve known each other since childhood
What do you mean?
I do find him attractive. I don’t like to chase guys but he’s literally often the first to view my stories. I don't know if I should dm him. Would that be desperate? I did like one of his old pic to give him a hint
So dm him isn’t desperate? Is that what you’re saying?
And what did I do?
You’re such a negative b! tch. You must be fat b! tch who doesn’t have a personality. I can tell you’re projecting.
I’m not responding to you anymore. Don’t bother to reply.
40 minutes? i would have left... ain't no way i'm waiting 40 fucking minutes. wth?
so yeah, he was angry. as anyone would be.
I don't respect anyone who doesn't respect my time. 40 minutes late is ridiculous. You're lucky he even waited for you. I would be mad too.
If it did bother him why did he say ” I forgot about it long time ago”
It's called gaslighting. He is trying to guilt trip you in to feeling bad for making him look stupid. Both of you are toxic. You for making him wait that long and him for his back handed comments.
In what way he was guily tripping me? I’m curious. Also what was back handed comment?
Him saying "I forgot about it a long time ago" is a back handed comment because he didn't forget about it at all. If he had forgot about it, he wouldn't have mentioned it. He instead brought it up to you to remind you that you made him wait for 40 minutes because he wants you to feel bad for putting him through that. He wants you to be reminded that you made him feel stupid. He didn't forget about it, as he claimed. In fact, he probably thinks about it whenever he thinks about you. It bothered him. I could even say it went as far as hurting him in some sense. Him reminding you that you made him wait is guilt tripping you because he absolutely wants you to feel bad. And you should.
You were 40 minutes late. If he was angry I don't blame him. I would have wrote you off as a no show long before that.
by the way I noticed that his friend is now spying on me? After that date he didn’t want to see me again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
If anything not to do on a first date, being late would rank at the top 5.
Obviously he was unhappy at the discourtesy as well he might be. I wouldn't have waited 40 minutes.
my boyfriend often complains that I make us late but he stops complaining when he sees how I look
This was our first date though
40 mind is a long time
Did the date itself go well?
LOL... he did otherwise he wouldn't mention it.
40 minutes is a long time to be late for something.
After that he didn’t want to see again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
If you sincerely apologize and had a good excuse then he should be over it, if not then let him go.
You don't need to chase and beg someone to be in your life. You won't die if they aren't there.
by the way after that date he told me” I’m looking for my soulmate and a good wife. I don’t want to waste time” I guess he really disliked me Or it was his anger that caused him to say that
It was rude and self centred. Now that he knows what kind of girl you are, he has adjusted accordingly.
I'm reminded about a similar incident in a show called Castle... Except that the situation was reversed... Didn't have any impact on the outcome.
How did the actual date go? Doesn't sound like it was a huge hit?
Being late is like telling someone that their time has no value to you.
If he was 40 minutes late, how would you feel?
It’s kind of long time but if you had a good reason he should understand.
He sounded angry about you being late. Showing up late is a massive red flag.
Was it angry comment? Also it did bother him why did he say that he forgot about it long time?
When he talked about forgetting about it for a long time, he meant he doesn't see you as a girlfriend.
Why?
He isn't foolish enough to date a woman who won't show up on time.
by the way I noticed that his friend is now spying on me? After that date he didn’t want to see me again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my stories. At first the friend didn’t even follow me when he started to view my story highlights. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
Just tell him the truth, Chad was blowing your back out and it took awhile for him to nut.
40 minutes late? I'm surprised he was still there.
40 mins late? On your very first date? Yikes… I’d be mad too
After that date he didn’t want to see me again. Recently his really good friend has been viewing my instagram highlight stories without even following me. Then I requested to follow him.
I don’t understand. The friend has been many times literally the first person to view my story. He’s never met me.
Cunt feel blessed he waited for 40min
My kind of guy leave after 5min of waiting and let you think I'm waiting lol
Probably a punctual guy, i’m surprised he waited 40 minutes. I hope you had a good excuse. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be too happy either.
Yeah, sounds like he was a bit put off.
Why were you so late?
Lol he must be desperate, I’d be out the door by 10 minutes. Learn to respect people you shag.
because he was pissed at how self centered and self absorbed you were
don't bother replying i got better things to do then responding to assholes like you
40 mins late and he was still there waiting?
Well I did tell him I’m on my way.
Still, ... he must really like you.
After the date he didn’t want to see me again…
Maybe he had a better impression of you online or before meeting than after meeting you
Do you think me being late was a reason for him to not see me again?
He is overreacting.
He sounds annoyed
Being 40 minutes late is a long time.
That's disrespectful to be 40 minutes late.
Yes he is
Seems like it
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
