I was late for our first date. He was late too but despite that he had to wait for me 40 minutes.
after the date he didn’t reach out to me so I texted him first. I asked how he felt about the other day (when we met). He then replied “ do you mean when you was late? I forgot about that long time ago.
why did he brought it up?
Honestly 5 to 15 minutes late is not a big deal. 40 minutes late is really super disrespectful, and I do not even care what the excuse is personally.
If it was me after 15 minutes, I would have been out of there. I would tell you I was going to wait and then left. You would show up and I would have been gone, and in doing so hoped that you would learn something that obviously your parents didn't teach you. People's time and effort matters, it's not just about you.
Honestly, I had two dates were a woman was over 20 minutes late. One was because she went to the wrong Starbucks by accident. She knew which one to come to, but hit her GPS in hurry and it defaulted to the closest one to her, and she was halfway there before she figured out, she was going to wrong one. She was very apologetic, and she called me immedicably to apologize and asked me to wait and I did. The second was a woman who had a car issue, again the same she was very apologetic, called me immediately and asked me to wait, and I did.
Neither of those situations worked on in the long run. Bottom line I do not know enough about the situation to tell you why, but at the end of the day the guy felt disrespected. Because had to sit there waiting for over 40 minutes. And after all that, you did not impress him enough to want to follow up. When guys do not follow up with you within the first 24 hours of a date, then it's not something they are interested in, and they are just trying to be polite and hoping you pick up on the hint.
Next time put out a better effort and be on time.
Based on the message you provided, it doesn't seem that he sounded angry about you being late. In fact, his response indicates that he had already forgotten about it, which suggests that it didn't bother him as much as you may have thought. It's possible that he brought it up simply because you asked about how he felt about the date and he wanted to clarify what you were referring to.
However, keep in mind that tone and intention can be difficult to gauge over text, so it's possible that he was frustrated or annoyed about the wait but chose not to bring it up. In any case, it's always a good idea to be punctual for dates as a sign of respect for the other person's time, and to apologise if you are running late.
It's also worth noting that his lack of follow-up after the date could be for any number of reasons, and may not necessarily be related to your lateness. It could be that he wasn't interested in pursuing things further, or that he was busy with other commitments. It's always best to communicate openly and directly with someone to get a clear understanding of their feelings and intentions.
Sorry girl but 40 minutes is kinda rude on a first date.
10-15 minutes is reasonable (jitters and all that) but the fact that he waited 40 minutes for you, that’s absolute patience. For sure he’s upset by it. Even if he says otherwise. First dates set the tone on how a relationship can form. Did you at least text him letting him know you’re gonna be late?
did y’all ever end up going on a second one?
Having to wait 40 minutes isn't that big a deal but if I had to wait 40 minutes for some asshole in a restaurant... feeling like an assclown and having to tell the waiter no I'm not ready to order yet... no fucking way, I would of left after 10.. LOL
There would be no date number 2...
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u If meeting him and making a good intial impression was important to you, you would make him your priority on the appointed day and you would arrive on time, appropriately dressed and ready to give him your attention. That it was people expect of each other when they are dating, and ESPECIALLY on a first date.
Yes, your performance was a failure. He brought it up because it bothered him. Did you even bother to apologize to him? Have you done anything to try to compensate in any way?
Yeah. He’s angry.
Otherwise, you being late wouldn’t be the very first thing he brings up when you ask how the date went.
And him saying that he forgot about it, sounds like he’s being passive aggressive, saying one thing but thinking/feeling another thing, hoping you’d get the hint.
He expects an apology.
And I don’t blame him.
If I was on a first date with someone, and they were 40 minutes late, that would be a HUGE turn off unless they had a VERY good explanation for why.
I’m not sure if this situation can be saved. He probably said what he said to see if you can read the room or not—to see how intuitive or oblivious you are.
I’m not 100% sure how he thinks. But, I’m not surprised if he has already moved on.
But, passive aggression on his part is a red flag. At least to me. I don’t date passive aggressive people.
a few minutes is ok, 40 minutes is a long time.
I am usually always early.
you know what time you were to meet, so you have to plan around it.
Unless there is some sort of emergency there really is no excuse.
Did you call him to let him know that you were running late?
Not a text, an actual call.
that can help.
No excuses, just take responsibility and apologize.
Some people are habitually late, and that would be an issue with me.
Remember to be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late is unthinkable.
This has never been a real problem for me. Most of the time I go to her home and pick her up and we go together. If I have to wait it has always been at her home. There was one time when I had reservations for a table. She is an Attorney and got tied up in court. I was sitting at the bar waiting for her. She did call me though. I gave up that reservation and we just ate a burger later. If there is a good reason and she communicates with me I can always make an adjustment. It's when she does not communicate I will get angry!
He brought it up because yes he was mad. He was being sarcastic. I can see 10-15 minutes maybe traffic or something. But 40 minutes. Shows a lack of respect for me, also it tells me how interested you are in me as far as this date. It shows how you are as far as managing your time. Also tells me you’re probably one of these women I’m going to have to be waiting on when we need to leave by a specific time. You made him look like a fool sitting there waiting that whole time. Actually he made himself look like a fool for waiting that long. Surprised he waited. I would have split.
Because it's really rude to be late, and honestly you are really lucky he stuck around to wait on you. In the past when I've had this happen I literally waited for them to show up, an hour late, looked straight at them, and walked out without a word.
It says that despite them setting aside the only resource they can never recover (time) for you, you had better things to do than hold up your end of the most basic arrangement and better things to do than spend time with them... you made them feel less than.
I find anyone being late is highly disrespectful so I would not get back to you either... But, of course, I would say that to your face first, so you don't wander why.
Yes, obviously he was upset and perhaps didn't think you where a good match then.
He probably felt disrespected. You made him wait a long time, you didn’t tell him you were gonna be late so he probably thought you were standing him up, and then you were surprised when we was upset about it. You haven’t shown him any respect as a person why would he text you back?
I mean unless you had a very good reason for being 40 minutes late, i'd probably feel the same way, that if the girl i'm dating really doesn't care to that degree, then i'm wasting my time with her. When you just start dating someone, during that time that's when everyone in on their best behaviour. If you're prepared to be 40 minutes late without a good reason on the first date, then god knows how much more disrespectful you'll be after the long term when you're comfortable with someone.
On my first date my guy came to pick me up at the metro station !! Not a cat.. metro station!!! Many dates after it too.. this mother fucker can’t even accept being late 1x once !
You must have lots of nerves to deal with him. Never settle for something that irritates you: I’m not saying you always be late. No. But it happens once you probably said sorry or whatever let’s forget it life moves on right and this dude can’t forget it..
SIKE
You were 40 minutes late and you wonder why he is 'bringing it up'? Really? You won't have any boyfriends or friends if that is how little you respect their time.
Being late more than 15 minutes is already a red flag for most people, let alone a 40 minutes one. Yes he sounded angry and yes he brought it up because he’s gotta let you know that what you did is disrespectful, it gives off a bad impression like you don’t really wanna go on that date and it looks like you're wasting his time.
If my date would be 40 minutes late I would have returned home already and she had burned her chances and would have to do something special to recover from that.
40 minutes? That’s just disrespectful. Sounds like you forgot and decided to go. First date has first impressions and it sounds like you don’t and will not take him seriously.
40 minutes... that's a really long time. I believe he's still angry and just straight up disappointed, not that I blame him.
15 minutes late would be acceptable but this really destroyed the date.
Nah, he's just being a prick.
But you should have more brains to be able to text "I'll be late" when you were 5 minutes late. That way at least they can be sure you're coming.
Be brighter, kiddo.
Jesus Christ woman, 40 minutes? Do you not know how to keep track of time? What would compel you to be that late without even telling him? That just shows you don't respect him or his time. Do better or don't date.
Sounds like that was his red flag and he's done with you. I'd just move on. I don't know why either of you were late, but it IS bad form for a first date.
He was being sarcastic -- and yes, he sounded angry. Your actions sent him a message that you were dis-interested and didn't care -- about him or the date.
Being super late is pretty inconsiderate unless there was a really good reason, like a bad accident caused the delay or something similar. He sounds like he will let it linger, so you might just want to forget about him and move on.
